Too Shy?

[Don Tonberry]

Whenever a girl talks to me I never know what to say or am just too afraid. And it doesn't matter whether it's online in a chat room or in person I never talk at all. I'm so quiet in fact that I got an award at my school for "Most Likely to go a year without talking" (not really an award is it?) I don't know what's wrong with me, but it makes me so lonely

 

[motiv]

yea man i can identify with you there except my problem is with other guys along with the girls. Although i dont have much problems "speaking" online.

For me i think its that im afraid ill fresia up or something and maybe im afraid opinions of me are end up being like "yeah that dude's werid" if i try to talk.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hmmm. I think many people suffer from this. I read once a short story in a teenage magazine about a guy who had an enormous crush on a girl. She once came by his locker and smiled at him and he was scared he would say something like "Blurf" so he just nodded back. He blew his chance!

Well, don't catastrophize. If you are scared of people, try with people you don't really find all that terrifying. Older people, men, women who aren't what you'd consider attractive, etc. Just strike up conversations any place you go where you could. Just consider it your social practice, or real-life homework.

 

[Lost_N_Alone]

I've struggled with shyness pretty much my whole life. It's a large part of what makes me feel so lonely. I've always been really shy about apporaching members of the opposite sex. I'm terrifed even of the thought of dating. I feel like my life is passing me by

All I can say is you have to do your best to overcome your shyness. Find some way to give yourself confidence. I know it's easier said than done because I don't even know how to help myself.

 

[Blue Sky]

I also have been a shy person all my life.
When I was young my mother once told me that I suffered from chronic shyness, that didn't help me cope well at all. Very honest person my mother. Over the years I have found that if I am going out to meet up with people I will be very very shy because I have had time to think about the situation I will be in. What do I say to these people etc... But with day to day life I tend to cope ok. And the more I get to know someone the easier it is. But I think that many people can freeze up, specially when going out on a date and situations like that.

 

[Wave Shock]

I believe have gotten better from shyness, but I am still really quiet. Once I started to know someone, things started to get easier. Until, I am forced to move away (military brat), my shell seems to go back up (but tougher).

I had the benefit of the doubt when I entered high-school with cancer (I'm fine and done with it). People wouldn't dare be cruel to me.

It was too tough to make friends, though..Am I too shy around girls? No, but I'm still really quiet because I've nothing to say. But hey, some girls like good listeners. It didn't get me anywhere, but I'm more comfortable around people I got to know better.

Aquaintances at most, I did not make one friend through all 4 years, part of which is my fault.

I go by this: Shy and quiet are similar yet different things to me. Overcoming shyness doesn't mean I can't a quiet person.

 

[lonelygirl]

Sorry, when I saw that thread title immediately my mind launched into:

"You're too shy, shy, Hush, Hush, My oh My" by Kajagoogoo. That was a freaking good song back in the 80's!

 

[lonelygirl]

Oops. Got the lyrics wrong!



Too Shy

Tongue-tied, (I'm) short of breath, don't even try
Try a little harder
Something's wrong, you're not naive, you must be strong
Ooh, baby, try
Hey girl, move a little closer.
You're

CHORUS:
Too shy shy
Hush hush, eye to eye
Too shy shy
Hush hush, eye to eye
Too shy shy
Hush hush, eye to eye
Too shy shy
Hush hush

Modern medicine falls short of your complaints
Ooh, try a little harder
You're moving in circles, won't you dilate
Baby try
Hey girl, move a little closer
'Cause, you're

(Chorus)

Anybody else remember this song? I was only 8 when it came out, but they did play it on the radio from time to time on the radio. I thought it was very catchy!

 

[Blue Sky]

Yes I remember it, but I can only remember the chorus.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Blue Sky did you watch the video?

I remember hearing this song on the radio and thinking the lead singer was a female! lol Cool hair he's got, eh?

 

[BrokenDreams]

I understand how you feel. I can't talk to people I don't know well because it is very awkward for me and I feel like I have nothing to say.
Oh the other hand, I talk alot to my friends, half of the time its just stupid randomness that doesn't make sense. lol! They don't seem to mind though.
Yeah, I can't talk to guys I don't know because I'll say something really dumb and he'll probably hate me.

 

[JustLost]

Whenever I talk to girls/women (whatever) it's usually one of two things...I'll either say something really funny and she'll laugh (the positive) or I 'll say something meant to be funny and it will just sound weird and creepy (the negative)...Maybe I shouldn't use humor so much, but it's the best way I know of to break the ice.

I never know what type of reaction I'm going to get and sometimes it's enough to keep me from speaking altogether.

 

[lonely guy]

Im not quite sure why people are quoting songs on here, but the only way to get over shyness in my humble opinion, is getting out into the real world and forcing yourself to talk to EVERYBODY. Yes, that is the only way. For some people self-hypnosis works, but for many it does not. Practice makes perfect. A well-known psychotherapist named Albert Ellis, whom recently passed away, got over his shyness by sitting on a park bench and talking to every girl that sat down next to him. 30 walked away immediately but 100 for the first time in his life didn't laugh at him, throw up, or pass out due to his interaction. Just practice, and just do it, and you will be so happy you did.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

 

[Lost in the Oilfield]

Whenever a girl talks to me I never know what to say or am just too afraid.... I don't know what's wrong with me, but it makes me so lonely

I can relate I often feel the same around women and groups of people where I don't know many of them. I don't know where to start, or if I do, I don't have the confidence to ask the questions and accept a negative response. A fear of rejection. I can diagnose, but the funny thing is it's a real battle to overcome it.

I got an award for 'Always having my head in the clouds' so did my best friend though so I didn't feel so bad.

 

[Lost in the Oilfield]

Anybody else remember this song? I was only 8 when it came out, but they did play it on the radio from time to time on the radio. I thought it was very catchy!

AHAHAHA i broke into hysterics when I watched that video... the guy looks like he's got a skunk on his head. Very good I'm saving that link.

I don't remember that song but I was only four. I remember Final Countdown by Europe from when I was a kid cause I used to sing it when it came on the radio.

 

[sadeghol]

you shall think you are higher than a muthafucka,cause you heard speking of them having too much pride nothing go wrong

 

[INTERPOL]

Your not alone man, I seem to have a sort of "selective social anxiety", and it's not like I'm shy to a particular group such as girls or whatever but it's just individual people. Like even teachers in school, some strict teachers i seem to be able to have a laugh with and there's even the more fun teachers that I struggle to be myself around.
Plus i'm sometimes called quiet because there's just some people i can't be bothered talking to, it's not that i have a problem with them, it's just i don't see what i can gain from speaking to them ( i sound like a complete dick lol but i don't mean it to be mean)

The only thing thats seemed to help me over the years is practice, and try not to think about what others think of you when your talking to them. You'll get better before you know it