Utterly alone :-(

[Carpediem1972]

Hey all ... not sure what to say , im scared if i start i may not stop ... i have in the last 4 months lost pretty much all of my friends and am now finding myself very very lonely - if it wasnt for my kids im not sure what i would do - im an european immigrant and been here for 11 years - divorced since 3 years and i have no family here at all so i guess i have been replacing family with friends . A few months ago my best friend lost her house about the same time as this dude i just had started seeing also lost his house and somehow they all ended up staying here at my house with partners , pets and kids - no need to say it was pretty full packed here as i have 2 kids a cat and dog myself and with all them it was an extra 3 adults , 3 cats and 4 kids .... and it wasnt too bad to start with but soon i realized i was cleaning , washing and cooking for everyone and no one else did anything - so i went on strike ... i sat my butt down infront of computer and played games most of the time til they realized nothing was washed or no clean dishes or no food in fridge .... not to mention the fact i didnt get a single cent from any of them for food or help with bills and instead of actually helping with the chores they all left ..... but not before they stole smokes and stuff and not before they had ruined another good friendship for me .. and by the time they left my bills was getting out of control and i was and still am seriously broke - my backyard looks like a rubbish dump where they just left their broken furniture and rubbish they didnt want to take with them .. now thats left with me , will cost a fortune to get rid of , my powerbill is so high i cant even keep up with the fortnightly payments on a hardship plan - it took 3 months to pay one of the 2 phonebills - homephone .. now i need to pay off the mobile bill which was double from homephone and will take double the time ... and however grateful i am that they are not here anymore at the same time i lost them all as friends as well , together with another friend since 6 years back and for that im really sad ... i isolated myself for a few months after that , licked my wounds before starting seeing ppl again .. made some new friends and was starting to enjoy life a bit more until that too came crashing down a few days ago when out of the blue they dismissed me and "broke up" with me .. i had said something they didnt like ... i still dont know what ... it took a day or so til i realized they werent really friends ... i was handy for a while as i had a car and we all got the "once a year extra cash" ... i got mine first and by the time mine was gone they got theirs and they cut me off ... so back to no friends again ... and it just feel even worse ... i cry all the time and my kids are confused why ppl dont come here anymore ... i really havent got anyone i can call a friend left .. i have a couple of ppl i say hi to at kids school but no one i can ring to just chat to or no one to share good or bad things like ppl do with friends , i havent had a single phone call or text message for a week , one visitor to my house only to ask for something someone forgot .. and then weekend came and my kids went to their dads house and then i realized just how lonely i am ... and spent the weekend crying and wondering what to do , what this is doing to my kids , feeling very guilty and scared to death .. wondering if im getting too old to find new friends and at the same time wondering if its worth trying as i dont seem to have much luck with those ... i am a decent person with good morals and good values ... im honest to the point where im blunt which isnt always appreciated but im a really bad lier so i learnt early that honesty is better , lies are hard to keep up with , too much u need to remember to get right - i have 2 things i live by a lot - treat others the way u want them to treat u and dont ask the question if u cant handle the answer ! Anyways i dont think im a bad person but starting to wonder if it is all me ... i just cant seem to keep anything or anyone in my life and it hurts so much , i dont wanna be this lonely , i dont wanna feel this way , cry all the time and snap and get angry with kids all the time for every little thing but what do i do ?

 

[Ian Haines]

Hi...

Welcome aboard, good Lady.

You've come to the right place.

By the writing, above, I'd say that you are in the Land Of Chaos, around now.

Well, this board tends to do a great job at Chaos Processing, I've found.

Ian.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Sorry ur going through that.
Poeple take advangtae of your kindness.

Maybe u might tweek od of ur old and ideas nd beliefs a little bit.

Treat people according to how they treat you.. You might FEEL guilty doing this at first...but in time ur Feel better about urself of not being anyones doormat.

No...your not old. Youre just tired and werried from the stress. When u get
rest and heal. Youll feel different..

Loniness...this too is a Feeling.
Let go of this feeling as best you can.

True. Isoation is not healthy. Your mind and body is telling you this..

Maybe you can join a club, do community. Service or even a part time job.

Jobs such as sales clerk that will give you exposure to a varity of people
and maintain your socail skills or need of human interactions.

Are there any type of support groups
avaliable in your aera? .

---

Maybe also consider attending
college. Community college offers
many courses. Its also a good way
to meet people and further your
education. Maybe enroll in photography, art or music classes.
See whats avaliable.

---

Im 44....I know going through break up arnt easy. Yes. Plenty of time
Ive gotten myself involved with toxic people and got burned..

The economy isnt the greatest in the world. Lots of stress just trying to
pay bills. Sometimes honeysuckle just happens..

My life had completly turn upside down again even wihtin recent months.

Life dose go on...or I must live it until I die. I do the best as I can..

I have a GF at the moment. Just making the best of it. Dont know
exectly whats going to happen tommorow. Plans??? I had plans....

 

[Carpediem1972]

Thanks guys , i will look in to all the suggestions , at this point im ready to do nearly anything it takes , im not used to be this lonely - not that i ever had the biggest social life but theres always been someone , never been like this where im totally left out in the cold and i havent cried this much since i was a heartbroken teenager i think - the feeling is nearly the same for some reason - the only thing that keeps me sane and keeps me from just walking out is my 2 super duper kids , they are fantastic eventho only 6 and 8 they are my rocks which in itself makes me feel shitty to them , they are confused and sad that they are missing out on playing with my ex friends kids and so on BUT i will look into to various support groups around here if i can find any and see what out there !!

 

[Bretjsarena05]

Thanks guys , i will look in to all the suggestions , at this point im ready to do nearly anything it takes , im not used to be this lonely - not that i ever had the biggest social life but theres always been someone , never been like this where im totally left out in the cold and i havent cried this much since i was a heartbroken teenager i think - the feeling is nearly the same for some reason - the only thing that keeps me sane and keeps me from just walking out is my 2 super duper kids , they are fantastic eventho only 6 and 8 they are my rocks which in itself makes me feel shitty to them , they are confused and sad that they are missing out on playing with my ex friends kids and so on BUT i will look into to various support groups around here if i can find any and see what out there !!

You should not find or think that your are lonely Carpediem, always find happiness in between people whom you live with and you will never be lonely. As you said that you have two kids an they are your rocks then you should not worry about anything. Try all our suggestions and give your feed back soon. Keep smiling.

 

[rivermaze]

Hi,

I don't know whether you will ever again visit this forum or not. Anyway, I can only hope that you have already managed to progress, and don't feel so lonely.

It's hard to help when we all meet each other mostly online. But maybe you would be able to find some relief by talking to us. Maybe we could find some additional ideas for you. I myself believe that online friends can be as (or almost as) close and helpful as these we meet face to face.

Warm wishes!

 

[KatyAD]

Hey all ... not sure what to say , im scared if i start i may not stop ... i have in the last 4 months lost pretty much all of my friends and am now finding myself very very lonely - if it wasnt for my kids im not sure what i would do - im an european immigrant and been here for 11 years - divorced since 3 years and i have no family here at all so i guess i have been replacing family with friends . A few months ago my best friend lost her house about the same time as this dude i just had started seeing also lost his house and somehow they all ended up staying here at my house with partners , pets and kids - no need to say it was pretty full packed here as i have 2 kids a cat and dog myself and with all them it was an extra 3 adults , 3 cats and 4 kids .... and it wasnt too bad to start with but soon i realized i was cleaning , washing and cooking for everyone and no one else did anything - so i went on strike ... i sat my butt down infront of computer and played games most of the time til they realized nothing was washed or no clean dishes or no food in fridge .... not to mention the fact i didnt get a single cent from any of them for food or help with bills and instead of actually helping with the chores they all left ..... but not before they stole smokes and stuff and not before they had ruined another good friendship for me .. and by the time they left my bills was getting out of control and i was and still am seriously broke - my backyard looks like a rubbish dump where they just left their broken furniture and rubbish they didnt want to take with them .. now thats left with me , will cost a fortune to get rid of , my powerbill is so high i cant even keep up with the fortnightly payments on a hardship plan - it took 3 months to pay one of the 2 phonebills - homephone .. now i need to pay off the mobile bill which was double from homephone and will take double the time ... and however grateful i am that they are not here anymore at the same time i lost them all as friends as well , together with another friend since 6 years back and for that im really sad ... i isolated myself for a few months after that , licked my wounds before starting seeing ppl again .. made some new friends and was starting to enjoy life a bit more until that too came crashing down a few days ago when out of the blue they dismissed me and "broke up" with me .. i had said something they didnt like ... i still dont know what ... it took a day or so til i realized they werent really friends ... i was handy for a while as i had a car and we all got the "once a year extra cash" ... i got mine first and by the time mine was gone they got theirs and they cut me off ... so back to no friends again ... and it just feel even worse ... i cry all the time and my kids are confused why ppl dont come here anymore ... i really havent got anyone i can call a friend left .. i have a couple of ppl i say hi to at kids school but no one i can ring to just chat to or no one to share good or bad things like ppl do with friends , i havent had a single phone call or text message for a week , one visitor to my house only to ask for something someone forgot .. and then weekend came and my kids went to their dads house and then i realized just how lonely i am ... and spent the weekend crying and wondering what to do , what this is doing to my kids , feeling very guilty and scared to death .. wondering if im getting too old to find new friends and at the same time wondering if its worth trying as i dont seem to have much luck with those ... i am a decent person with good morals and good values ... im honest to the point where im blunt which isnt always appreciated but im a really bad lier so i learnt early that honesty is better , lies are hard to keep up with , too much u need to remember to get right - i have 2 things i live by a lot - treat others the way u want them to treat u and dont ask the question if u cant handle the answer ! Anyways i dont think im a bad person but starting to wonder if it is all me ... i just cant seem to keep anything or anyone in my life and it hurts so much , i dont wanna be this lonely , i dont wanna feel this way , cry all the time and snap and get angry with kids all the time for every little thing but what do i do ?

I've said this before...If you wan't to end it all, give it all to the Lord.
Seek him. He's said "Come to me all ye who are weary and I will give you rest." He is able, willing and capeable of deliving you from everything. He is the answer to all your problems. He's at the top of the list of things that the devil dosn't want you to know or know about. If you want real releaf...end to all your worries and burdens...seek and depend on the Lord, learn about him. He's the best place to go when your desprate and not so desprate. Jesus is the final end to all your trouble, financial, physical, emotional problems. He can and will get you out of anything. You have to eccept him and embrace him don't let the enemy (devil) steal that from you. It dosn't matter. He wants to rebuild your life and help you raise your children. He want's to give you what you need, what you desire but he desires you the most. Trust him with everything, he will take care of you. Recieve him and welcome him into your mess. He will help you clean it up.

God Bless,
-Katy

 

[MountainGhost]

Hi, you sound a lot like me. I'm a stay at home mom and I have no friends. Over the past year the ones that I thought I had have used me for a place to live, food and my car and in each case the "friendship" ended in a ugly way. Since then I've become a little jaded about people. I desperately need friends but don't want to get used again.
I honestly believe that I'm a good person. I have the same kind of morals you do. I'm kind and would do just about anything for people but at the same time I'm honest to a fault and some people just can't handle that.
Not to mention over the years I've spent so much time alone that making friends is awkward for me and a lot of people think I'm strange.
If you ever need to talk don't be afraid to private message me...I'm usually always around