When people/someone hate you

[Hawx79]

How do you deal with someone at your work that hates you and want to gets you fired or when a certain type of people in society hates you whenever they see and meet you?
How dou cope and live on like that while keeping positive state of mind and sain?

 

[Callie]

Ignore it. I know that's not all that easy, but just do what you're doing and don't let the rest of it hurt your performance. If they are harassing you, report it.

 

[whispers]

Yes, report harrassement, keep a log of the events with dates, etc. It happened in my work place, i wasnt the target, but the scheeming to get the other fired realy helped me quit that job because of severe depression, its not a healthy environment for anyone.

Later on i had to go to court because that person had pressed charges of harrassement against the person she was harrassing !!! She lost, but i wish i would have kept a log of events, it was difficult with the dates, and lawyers are quite demanding for those things.

I'm not saying to focus on it, just protect yourself. And keep working as if that person was not there.

Good luck

 

[Fragile]

I don't. Some people tell me, straight to my face that they think I'm ugly and it breaks me into a million pieces everytime, still.

 

[Tiina63]

Could you look for a new job? I know that I couldnt stay positive in that sort of situation.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I don't. Some people tell me, straight to my face that they think I'm ugly and it breaks me into a million pieces everytime, still.

I've had this happen to me too fragile. I kept reporting it until it stopped.

---

Could you look for a new job?

+1

Because the environment sounds unhealthy and it might be easier to leave than to change it.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Never had to deal with that at work. There was one guy who I knew didn't like me very much you could tell but thankfully he didn't let it get in the way when we had to work together. I have had to deal with complete strangers hating me for no reason at all except they just did, yet knew nothing about me personally. That's weird, but oh well can't please everyone and if that's how they want to be that is their problem.

 

[Pandapanda]

I'm experiencing this right now Hawx79.

On weekends I work retail in a very popular "tween" clothing store, and there's a lot of pressure to be bubbly and dress with a sense of fashion. I'm neither of those things. Really, I took the job simply because rent is so high where I live. And I'm also one of the oldest people working there.

I'm not very talkative at work and when you're quiet people assume your stuck up or arrogant. Everyone I work with pretty much just wonders why I'm not more like them. It's frustrating because they don't know anything about me or my life. I live in the northeast, particularly New England, which is notoriously known for its callous attitude towards anything outsider. Typically, in New England people have their cliques and they don't need anyone new infiltrating.

I'm from the south where we are naturally more likely to talk to strangers, offer, and are generally more welcoming (it varies like anywhere, of course). I actually cried at work and even though my co-workers couldn't see me, they could tell by my puffy eyes. Showing up the next day was one of the hardest things I had to do. And when I tell you I felt alone before, I really feel alone now because everyone there thinks I'm weak.

I'm so happy I've already put in my two weeks. I can't take it anymore.

 

[Hawx79]

I'm experiencing this right now Hawx79.

On weekends I work retail in a very popular "tween" clothing store, and there's a lot of pressure to be bubbly and dress with a sense of fashion. I'm neither of those things. Really, I took the job simply because rent is so high where I live. And I'm also one of the oldest people working there.

I'm not very talkative at work and when you're quiet people assume your stuck up or arrogant. Everyone I work with pretty much just wonders why I'm not more like them. It's frustrating because they don't know anything about me or my life. I live in the northeast, particularly New England, which is notoriously known for its callous attitude towards anything outsider. Typically, in New England people have their cliques and they don't need anyone new infiltrating.

I'm from the south where we are naturally more likely to talk to strangers, offer, and are generally more welcoming (it varies like anywhere, of course). I actually cried at work and even though my co-workers couldn't see me, they could tell by my puffy eyes. Showing up the next day was one of the hardest things I had to do. And when I tell you I felt alone before, I really feel alone now because everyone there thinks I'm weak.

I'm so happy I've already put in my two weeks. I can't take it anymore.

Hi Pandapanda, sorry to hear what you are going thru.
I sometimes feel i am the only one that is screwd up because in every job i had i have always been the only one of outcast and unaccepted by my colleagues as im very introvertive and dont talk much and when i try to blend in by talking about everyday nonsense they can tell im not being me and thats where they start to dislike me even more. And my self confidence feels shattered because of it.

Its so unnecessary for people to treat another person bad just because he or she is different. Nothing is gained by doing so.

 

[rollingtrouble]

Back in the day, before I became a wheeler, I would sidle up to them and pee on their leg to assert my dominance. But probably that would not be a very good idea for most situations, kinda "unseemly".

 

[Gutted]

I try to have nothing to do with people who do not like me/I do not like. IIf they cause problems for me, I cause them bigger problems. So far all is well

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Remembering that there are larger forces at play helps me. Being a member of a few minority groups, and being educated about the ways in which these groups are viewed by mainstream Western society has helped me understand more. I'm becoming more compassionate about why certain types of people talk somethin foolish or treat me like a magical unicorn with leprosy when they find out that I'm part of these groups. They simply are unaware, unconscious, and do not see the error of their ways. So basically: I have hope, haters gonna hate, and I know that there are others out there like me.

 

[VanillaCreme]

People can hate me. That's fine. It just means they care enough about me to do so. While I, on the other hand, could care less they dislike me.

 

[beautifulsorrow]

Don't let it get to you, fresia them, y'know
What goes around comes around, remember that.

 

[roguewave]

Try and have as little face time with them as possible and maintain space. Avoid them, be passive, don't try and get one up on them or aggravate them. Karma will come around to benefit you anyway. Keep a log of your interactions. Basically, the same stuff you would do with a dangerous and wild animal, escaped from the zoo.

 

[Dax6079]

Ignoring stuff like this just makes you look like a soft target, I went through 9 years of hell in my first job, all because I sat and ignored the problem, so the key is in how you react.


Here's a good trick to employ.......

Go to your boss (as high up as possible), tell him/her that your concerned about certain people (don't mention names) and how they seem to spend a lot of time socialising and gossiping about others at work.
Explain that your a professional and you come to work to do your job and whilst you want to work as part of the team, you don't intend to socialise with other staff during work hours.
Explain that your concerned that their misguided views are spreading and that your worried about these views spreading upwards within the company.
Explain that you don't care what people think, but you do care if their idle gossip starts to affect your job security.

Any manager worth their salt, will take this as an indication of you being a valuable employee who dedicates all their work time to actually doing their job. He/She will take a dim view of those who are trying to disrupt your working day.

I know this works, I've done it myself and the managing director (the man at the very top) of the company told me "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you do a **** good job and you've got a lot of untapped potential, if they give you any more trouble just tell them to go f**k themselves or send them to me"

 

[Gutted]

Where I come from there'd be a fight or something. I personally would seek to log how I am treated and then I'd gather loads of evidence and then present it to management.

 

[ningtv]

You just meet with your job...

 

[The Good Citizen]

Do you have any faith in your Team Leader or Manager? It depends on the work place realy but most companies worth their salt will have a decent HR policy that should allow you to feel protected and not harrasd in the work environment.

I personally would have a quiet chat with your boss to just explain your concerns.

If you don't want the confrontation say its not a formal complaint, just express your views and tell them you wanted to make them aware so they can keep an eye on the situation. When I was team leading for a couple of years that was all part off the job, just listening to concerns and ensuring people felt comfortable to turn up to work. It should mean they are looking out for it and fighting your corner and if it becomes more serious down the line and anyone does make accusations, having a record (in writing if possible via email) of having raised the issue previously will help your case enormously. If you raise it with your Manager they should be doing this for you.

 

[KASINI]

Do they really hate you or are they that way to everyone? I usually find "*******" is a universal concept...my problem has always that I somehow appear more vulnerable and more likely to get crap from *******.