y dont u like being single?

[Chasm]

the more i read this forum?
the more i c the same reoccurrng theme ova n ova again
>>>>
ppl seem disturbd by the fact they dnt have a SO (significant othr)
y is it that so many seem bothrd by this?
i mean i can undrstand sum who maybe want sex w/just 1 person @ a time?
but y else bsides this sexual situation?
would ne1 WANT 2b in a relationship/have a SO?
tryng 2 undrstand
maybe sum can shed sum light on this 4 me?
tyia

 

[Bones]

It makes you feel inadequate to be completely alone / single.

 

[Chasm]

It makes you feel inadequate to be completely alone / single.

how/y is that?

 

[zaphodity]

Would be nice to have a partner but if I never marry then so be it, not an overt concern at this point in my life.

 

[IgnoredOne]

No one to listen to my rants.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Because I'm trying to find a partner, but getting nowhere regardless.

 

[seventhson]

I just want to feel like I have someone thats not family that cares about me. It must feel great. Its nice my family love me but I just feel like its just something thats just is. Not something that has come with time.

 

[revanushka]

Very simple.Because it's in our nature.We need to love and be loved, care for and be cared..

 

[Chasm]

intrstng answrs
but i guess im still wndrng y??
it has 2b n SO
y isnt friendshp sufficient?
y must it go romantically?
the only diffrnce i c?
is sex
"no one to listen to my rants"
probably LoL?
makes the most sense 2 me
so maybe?
its that ppl want sum1 around 24/7???
2 do 24/7 "things" with?
WoW
i would find that irrit8ng
LoL
n?
monotonous
hmmm
is it really WORTH givng up ur autonomy and freedom of self-decision?
just 2 have sum1 always there 2 either have sex with / rant 2 slash do othr 24/7 things?

 

[SofiasMami]

Um, did lonesome crow get back on the forum as Chasm? :O

 

[Chasm]

Um, did lonesome crow get back on the forum as Chasm? :O

plz read more of my posts
ull find im nvr so harsh
LoL

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Um, did lonesome crow get back on the forum as Chasm? :O

Nah, a true Crow-style interlude would be more like "Y DO PPL LIEK BEIN SINGLE, BECAUSE THERE IS NON OF TEH SECKSIN? ALSO, I BEDDED LIEK 50 HOT WOMANS AT ONESCE LAST NITE IM NOT ASHAMED LMAO *gratuitous nude pics*"

Chasm, this goes back to the whole sensual/sexual thing. The two are different. Sometimes I just wish I had a girl who would just hug me, be close to me, no rudeness. Someone who cared about me and was non-family-I-was-born-to, because it would help validate me as a person and make me feel loved.

It's not like you need someone there 24/7. But just someone who cares for you every now and then? Someone who finds you lovable and attractive? Yeah, that's more desirable than being sat on your own in a cold room...

 

[Chasm]

sum sort of self VALIDATION!
ok ic nw
thx Solitary
very very informative
n intrstng!!
nw i can sit around 4 days wndrng y i dnt need this
LoLoL

 

[zaney]

intrstng answrs
but i guess im still wndrng y??
it has 2b n SO
y isnt friendshp sufficient?
y must it go romantically?
the only diffrnce i c?
is sex
"no one to listen to my rants"
probably LoL?
makes the most sense 2 me
so maybe?
its that ppl want sum1 around 24/7???
2 do 24/7 "things" with?
WoW
i would find that irrit8ng
LoL
n?
monotonous
hmmm
is it really WORTH givng up ur autonomy and freedom of self-decision?
just 2 have sum1 always there 2 either have sex with / rant 2 slash do othr 24/7 things?

Did you learn to read/write through text messages?

If you truly loved someone you wouldn't mind them being around 24/7 in fact you would feel worse when they are not around. I've only truly felt this way about one person and it still bothers/depresses me today when I think about "what could have been".
Friendships and a relationships are two different things. Even though I "love" some of my closest friends its in a completely different context to loving a significant other.

 

[Chasm]

intrstng answrs
but i guess im still wndrng y??
it has 2b n SO
y isnt friendshp sufficient?
y must it go romantically?
the only diffrnce i c?
is sex
"no one to listen to my rants"
probably LoL?
makes the most sense 2 me
so maybe?
its that ppl want sum1 around 24/7???
2 do 24/7 "things" with?
WoW
i would find that irrit8ng
LoL
n?
monotonous
hmmm
is it really WORTH givng up ur autonomy and freedom of self-decision?
just 2 have sum1 always there 2 either have sex with / rant 2 slash do othr 24/7 things?

Did you learn to read/write through text messages?

If you truly loved someone you wouldn't mind them being around 24/7 in fact you would feel worse when they are not around. I've only truly felt this way about one person and it still bothers/depresses me today when I think about "what could have been".
Friendships and a relationships are two different things. Even though I "love" some of my closest friends its in a completely different context to loving a significant other.

no
i didnt learn 2 read/write thru txt msgng
did u learn ur manners thru a correspondence course?

as 4 sum1 being around 24/7?
that doesnt sound like luv 2 me
that sounds like dependency/codependency/addiction/unhealthiness
were individuals
we need our individual SPACE
but ty for the "Friendships and a relationships are two different..." thing
its enlightning>>
2c that there is sum type of a diffrnce nt based on sex/sumthng like this
tho im still wndrng y ppl seem 2 want it SO BAD
it sounds like it could b?
a good ADDITION 2 life
but definitely nt the basis
like i c so many tryng 2 make it

 

[gnome3]

I keep thinking that eventually most end up single - or they die before their partner/spouse/significant other. I've heard stories of the 'surviving one' that dies shortly after their loved one dies - say within six months. I've heard of this happening more than once. There are many who fall into such a depression from the loss that they just don't have the will to live.
* Then, there are those who go through a breakup or divorce, and it seems to be harder because their loved one is still walking on this earth (sometimes with a new mate), and they swear that it would be easier on them if their loved one had died, but the mere thought that they're still 'out there' somewhere drives them into an unshakable depression.
This is real. I do feel that it's a normal trait for most humans to want (and maybe need) a companion in their lives.

 

[Chasm]

makes 1 think a lot gnome
doesnt it
hmmmmmmmmm
fantastic pts

 

[gnome3]

Well, I don't know, Chasm. It does smack of dependency and/or unhealthiness, does it not? It's a **** shame, and a sad shame at that, but it's part of life I suppose.

 

[Chasm]

hmmm ok so 1 of those>>
just how it is things
ic
ok

 

[Polar]

If you truly loved someone you wouldn't mind them being around 24/7 in fact you would feel worse when they are not around. I've only truly felt this way about one person and it still bothers/depresses me today when I think about "what could have been".
Friendships and a relationships are two different things. Even though I "love" some of my closest friends its in a completely different context to loving a significant other.

I disagree. I know what love is and I have experienced it but there isn't a single person out there who I could tolerate being around to 24/7 (Especially not once the rush of the crush has declined). Of course people express love in their own way but wanting to be with someone all the time is in my eyes more a sign of dependence than it is of love. Though I suppose there's nothing wrong with it if both sides of the relationship are okay with it.

In my opinion loving is a way of acting where you recognize a person to be as important or even more important in life than you are yourself. Ergo you act in the interest of that person as if it were your own. Friendship can inspire it, but it'll more likely come for someone you have romantic feelings for or are closely related to.

The gut feeling that makes you want to be with someone all the time is not what love is imo. It's nothing but hormones acting and your mind instinctively focussing on a specific person. We like to romanticize that overwhelming feeling, but that's really all it is, an evolutionary trick of the mind. It can be experienced by two people in a happy relationship but it can just as much be experienced by a guy who's stalking a girl against her will. I would never label the latter one as "love", "obsession" is a much better word for it.

Which brings me to Chasm's subject. People who are more sensitive to that gut feeling have the most problems being single. Unfortunately those same people have the most chance of ending up in an abusive relationship. I let my ex walk over me, not because I loved her, but because I was afraid of being without her. We did things to each other that you would otherwise never do to someone you love because we prioritized our own feelings over the other's. It's amazing how much forgiving we have done for each other and remained friends. And that's by far the most important reason for me to say that we did share real love for each other in the end.

People who feel the least bad about being single are ironically the ones who are more likely to end up in good relationships. If you do constantly feel as if you need someone very bad; I think it is probably because you're having personal issues and feel like being with someone is your ticket to feeling happy.