Your thoughts on my possible 'solution'

[VeganAtheist]

Hello.

I have been thinking about this for a while. I am 25, single with 0 friends and little, if any, potential to gain any. My main concern is not with having no friends but with having no mate (and having not had one in these lonely 25 years on this earth). Of course, like most people, I say "This will be the year I find someone" and of course it never happens.

I see the reasons why people don't accept me. I am socially inept. I don't know how to interact with people well at all. I don't think they have any negative feelings towards me but are probably just neutral towards me. I don't see any reason as to why that aspect of my personality will improve.

So, back to my 'solution'. We all know that personality is one of the main factors that a mate looks for. But we also know that physical attraction plays a very large role as well. So my thoughts would be that I could transform myself physically in hopes that it will... compensate for the lack of social abilities.

As I type this, the idea seems most absurd and would be difficult to achieve. I am running out of ideas and this one seems to be the best...
only option.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

I don't see any reason as to why that aspect of my personality will improve.

that could be a problem for you. if you believe you are unable to change, then you may be unwilling to change. over the years when something would go wrong in my life, i went heavily into introspection. i read books on self-improvement, interpersonal communication, anger management, and a whole host of other "self-help" books and resources. you can change. people can change...and really it's not so much about changing, as it is growing and learning. you just have to want to. and then act on it. good luck.

 

[Badjedidude]

So, back to my 'solution'. We all know that personality is one of the main factors that a mate looks for. But we also know that physical attraction plays a very large role as well. So my thoughts would be that I could transform myself physically in hopes that it will... compensate for the lack of social abilities.

As I type this, the idea seems most absurd and would be difficult to achieve. I am running out of ideas and this one seems to be the best...
only option.

Won't work. And here are the possible reasons why:

#1 Your personality won't improve, so even those who like you for your looks will end up leaving because of your lack of personality.
#2 You'll end up looking dumb because of a botched surgery or too much surgery
#3 Using looks to attract people will only attract those shallow, uninteresting types who only care about looks. Are you so desperate that you'd put up with that for the rest of your life?
#4 You'd be paying a lot of money for something that only has a slight chance of actually working. Is it worth it?

In short, I don't think that this is what you should do. I don't know much about you at all, but I can assure you that you are interesting and great JUST AS YOU ARE. Someone out there would find you appealing, I promise you that.

So instead of giving up and taking what appears to be the easy route, wouldn't it be better to keep looking? After all, you're only 25. Maybe you should consider this "solution" later in life.

 

[tehdreamer]

I often call myself socially inept as social situations are beyond my ability to conquer. I'm always awkward and my shyness just makes things worse. Being a social misfit isn't a bad thing if you can find other social misfits to hang out with. At least ones who are on the same level of misfitted-ness as you.

You won't be alone forever, you just need to find someone who understands that you're not the outgoing-life-of-the-party-person and is ok with that.

 

[MrPUA]

Hello.

I have been thinking about this for a while. I am 25, single with 0 friends and little, if any, potential to gain any. My main concern is not with having no friends but with having no mate (and having not had one in these lonely 25 years on this earth). Of course, like most people, I say "This will be the year I find someone" and of course it never happens.

I see the reasons why people don't accept me. I am socially inept. I don't know how to interact with people well at all. I don't think they have any negative feelings towards me but are probably just neutral towards me. I don't see any reason as to why that aspect of my personality will improve.

So, back to my 'solution'. We all know that personality is one of the main factors that a mate looks for. But we also know that physical attraction plays a very large role as well. So my thoughts would be that I could transform myself physically in hopes that it will... compensate for the lack of social abilities.

As I type this, the idea seems most absurd and would be difficult to achieve. I am running out of ideas and this one seems to be the best...
only option.

Are you a female or male?