Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

Nerdiness is neither here nor there for most guys. An attractive nerdy girl would be many a man's dream. The women who are overlooked aren't nerds, they're those who aren't blessed with their appearance, as in very below average looking, morbidly obese, etc. Maybe those with a serious mental illnesses, severe introversion or physical disabilities as well (*all this has to be quite severe for it be a problem)

Hmmm you know, where im from... if you wasn't "it" no one really wanted to know... I even knew some guys I thought hmm happy average, he could do well with her... but they felt insulted that you thought they couldn't get the "hottest". If you was to even imply they date someone who wasn't even that bad they'd think you are hmm calling them ugly. My brothers like that too though lol He only likes models, thats it, nothing else will do. He'd never go for a nerdy girl, or anything other than what most men might consider a "trophy wife".

 

[ardour]

Hmmm you know, where im from... if you wasn't "it" no one really wanted to know... I even knew some guys I thought hmm happy average, he could do well with her... but they felt insulted that you thought they couldn't get the "hottest". If you was to even imply they date someone who wasn't even that bad they'd think you are hmm calling them ugly. My brothers like that too though lol He only likes models, thats it, nothing else will do. He'd never go for a nerdy girl, or anything other than what most men might consider a "trophy wife".

You're still mixing up nerdiness with physical attractiveness though. Nerdy is to do with nerd interests and maybe a subculture around it. Remember Ugly Betty? The reason that show was absurd (and probably insulting to genuinely unattractive people) was because Betty wasn't ugly at all, they just took an attractive young actress and gave her braces, goofy glasses and frumpy outfits.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You're still mixing up nerdiness with physical attractiveness though. Nerdy is to do with nerd interests and maybe a subculture around it. Remember Ugly Betty? The reason that show was absurd (and probably insulting to genuinely unattractive people) was because Betty wasn't ugly at all, they just took an attractive young actress and gave her braces, goofy glasses and frumpy outfits.

Well no I dont mean to mix up the 2, if you wasn't "it" you'd be ignored and the "it" was the furthest thing from the nerdy girls as possible. 100% air head lol
I mention attractiveness because

" they're those who aren't blessed with their appearance, as in very below average looking, morbidly obese, etc"

This wasn't true for women where I lived, even if you wasn't that below looking, you'd still be ignored or you're an insult to another average looking guy. I have friends that used to cry to me because of how ugly they felt and really... they weren't ugly at all. Even Little Cenotaph used to be the same girl all the guys rejected... then I moved to a new city, all the guys liked a new type, something different, something they've never seen before, the most "exotic" girl wins lol But the other town, you had to fit... a whole box.

My experience travelling though is... how you described it, I almost dont know any men that seem so picky anymore. Most dont even care if my hair's not brushed lol

 

[Finished]

Ugh SkaFish, I cant take this... this is so insightful, like Jesus... thissss this is what I loveee. Let's get married? Just don't tell Finished... eh..he knows I cant be trusted lol

Yep. But, Ceno always finds her way back.

 

[Finished]

Pssh - it's Finished, or me! I will be no one's side piece!

Here's an interesting concept. Okay so, let say the person you want is already in a relationship and having sex with them. But, you worm your way in and are having sex with the person too. You don't really mind sharing. However, the one breaks it off with the first person and decides to be with you. You are happy. But, then the person you are with starts having sex with other people. Now you are mad. It's not okay to share them now?

 

[Finished]

Lool I just dont know... how is a girl supposed to choose, you must have a duel, the winner will take my hand as his fair (orange) maiden lol Finished will probably say, have her... im not leaving the house for that

At this point, I don't mind sharing. Besides Ska is more then likely disease free, like me. So, don't ask, don't tell. But, yeah, I don't really want to leave the house. However, like I said above Ceno will always find her way back. It's difficult to cage that one unless you leave the door sligthly open, making it look accidental, once in awhile.

 

[Finished]

My experience travelling though is... how you described it, I almost dont know any men that seem so picky anymore. Most dont even care if my hair's not brushed lol

Don't expect to let yourself go around me though. I'll take out the trash, put the toilet seat down, pee in the toilet, and fix the cars and the house inside and out. But, that hair needs to always look nice.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Here's an interesting concept. Okay so, let say the person you want is already in a relationship and having sex with them. But, you worm your way in and are having sex with the person too. You don't really mind sharing. However, the one breaks it off with the first person and decides to be with you. You are happy. But, then the person you are with starts having sex with other people. Now you are mad. It's not okay to share them now?

lmaooo because you always wanted them for yourself you was just waiting for them to wake up and face reality... that you are way better than that sack of potatoes they keep... mashing? ..

At this point, I don't mind sharing. Besides Ska is more then likely disease free, like me. So, don't ask, don't tell. But, yeah, I don't really want to leave the house. However, like I said above Ceno will always find her way back. It's difficult to cage that one unless you leave the door sligthly open, making it look accidental, once in awhile.

This wasn't the share CenotaphGirl debate, this was the fight to the Finnish (see what I did there) For my hand... in holy matrimony lmao.

Don't expect to let yourself go around me though. I'll take out the trash, put the toilet seat down, pee in the toilet, and fix the cars and the house inside and out. But, that hair needs to always look nice.

If I let myself go... ban me from shopping for a week... I'll snap back super quick lmao.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Here's an interesting concept. Okay so, let say the person you want is already in a relationship and having sex with them. But, you worm your way in and are having sex with the person too. You don't really mind sharing. However, the one breaks it off with the first person and decides to be with you. You are happy. But, then the person you are with starts having sex with other people. Now you are mad. It's not okay to share them now?

Ska doesn't share! Your sword, sir!

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Sacré Bleu! CenotaphGirl hasn't annoyed the lads with another question... that just won't do!

Tell me fellas, should I expect my partner to defend me at all times, not so much physically, but if people have a bad word to say about me, should I expect him to shut that down straight away? Or is that too much to ask? If another woman comes to him with gossip about me, should I expect him to entertain or terminate that conversation? How would you feel to find out that your partner is entertaining the gossips and the lies about you, would you think it's their right to hear someone out and not just shut the whole conversation down because it might hurt your feelings?.... to me this is some deep stuff... to others it's as deep as a puddle lol but... humour me!

 

[ewomack]

If someone came to me with a rumor about my wife, I would talk to her about it. Of course it would completely depend on the content of the rumor, but I would just tell her "person so and so told me such and such" and see what she says. If she said it wasn't true, I would call the person who told me the rumor, put my wife and me on the line, and ask the person "what's the deal?" It hasn't happened yet because my wife and I seem to share pretty much everything between us. When women have made advances towards me, I told her. If guys ever hit on her, she told me. Trust is a wonderful and underrated thing. Yet many people seem to want it both ways for themselves, but not for others.

If someone insulted her in a social setting, I would let her defend herself first, because she's more than capable of doing that. If she seemed overly distraught or couldn't defend herself for some reason, which I doubt would happen, then I would step in and mostly likely remove the both of us from the situation. Who wants to put up with that nonsense? Thankfully, this hasn't happened, either. She would hate it if I became all macho and "stood up for her" in some kind of grunting, manly way because she hates all of that crap immensely, as do I. We would just leave the insulters to their miserable, insecure selves and find something more productive to do.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

If someone came to me with a rumor about my wife, I would talk to her about it. Of course it would completely depend on the content of the rumor, but I would just tell her "person so and so told me such and such" and see what she says. If she said it wasn't true, I would call the person who told me the rumor, put my wife and me on the line, and ask the person "what's the deal?" It hasn't happened yet because my wife and I seem to share pretty much everything between us. When women have made advances towards me, I told her. If guys ever hit on her, she told me. Trust is a wonderful and underrated thing. Yet many people seem to want it both ways for themselves, but not for others.

If someone insulted her in a social setting, I would let her defend herself first, because she's more than capable of doing that. If she seemed overly distraught or couldn't defend herself for some reason, which I doubt would happen, then I would step in and mostly likely remove the both of us from the situation. Who wants to put up with that nonsense? Thankfully, this hasn't happened, either. She would hate it if I became all macho and "stood up for her" in some kind of grunting, manly way because she hates all of that crap immensely, as do I. We would just leave the insulters to their miserable, insecure selves and find something more productive to do.

I like this, lemme throw a real scenario at ya.... this actually happened to my mum, she went to a family party with my dad, it was his family and someones wife pulled off her hair accessories in the middle of the party. My mum was so... embarrassed and sad. If this happened to your wife, what would you do? Would you say nothing...and go home, or would you say something and then leave? I just wonder... as it's your family so it may make a difference

 

[TheRealCallie]

I like this, lemme throw a real scenario at ya.... this actually happened to my mum, she went to a family party with my dad, it was his family and someones wife pulled off her hair accessories in the middle of the party. My mum was so... embarrassed and sad. If this happened to your wife, what would you do? Would you say nothing...and go home, or would you say something and then leave? I just wonder... as it's your family so it may make a difference

Lol, my ex and I went to another state to visit his family. My brother in law shot a turkey and decided it would be funny to try to chase me with it...keep in mind I'm vegan (was just vegetarian at the time). I went after my brother in law. He learned his lesson fast.

 

[ewomack]

I like this, lemme throw a real scenario at ya.... this actually happened to my mum, she went to a family party with my dad, it was his family and someones wife pulled off her hair accessories in the middle of the party. My mum was so... embarrassed and sad. If this happened to your wife, what would you do? Would you say nothing...and go home, or would you say something and then leave? I just wonder... as it's your family so it may make a difference

Again, though she never wears hair accessories, my wife would deal with it. She would take that person to the bloody cleaners. I wouldn't have to do anything. The woman who did the pulling would regret it immensely, but if she then apologized and made up for it my wife would be the first to hug her in forgiveness.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Sacré Bleu! CenotaphGirl hasn't annoyed the lads with another question... that just won't do!

Tell me fellas, should I expect my partner to defend me at all times, not so much physically, but if people have a bad word to say about me, should I expect him to shut that down straight away? Or is that too much to ask? If another woman comes to him with gossip about me, should I expect him to entertain or terminate that conversation? How would you feel to find out that your partner is entertaining the gossips and the lies about you, would you think it's their right to hear someone out and not just shut the whole conversation down because it might hurt your feelings?.... to me this is some deep stuff... to others it's as deep as a puddle lol but... humour me!

I love your questions though! <3

This is where I get kinda weird and dicey...

I'd be more worried if my partner just blindly believed whatever, either the rumors or my side of it. I don't really have anything to hide, I'm pretty open, I mean: I didn't get this smart running around chasing ass when I was younger.

But also at the same time, if she's just gonna blindly believe whateverthefuck, I mean, do you know how dangerous that is?? You can end up in really bad situations that way in life, REALLY bad situations. That's how people end up in cults, getting diseases because of misinformation, etc.

I'd like to see my partner actually challenge both notions from an unbiased perspective and draw their own conclusions. Because well, that's the most mature and rational approach. To me, the conclusion is less important to me than how she came to that conclusion.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Lol, my ex and I went to another state to visit his family. My brother in law shot a turkey and decided it would be funny to try to chase me with it...keep in mind I'm vegan (was just vegetarian at the time). I went after my brother in law. He learned his lesson fast.

OMG I would freak outttt. I'd be half way in the car my fella would have to deal with that lol. I'd be running away if it was a spider to be honest lol

Again, though she never wears hair accessories, my wife would deal with it. She would take that person to the bloody cleaners. I wouldn't have to do anything. The woman who did the pulling would regret it immensely, but if she then apologized and made up for it my wife would be the first to hug her in forgiveness.

You know, I dont think I would say anything to my partners family, I'd want him to deal with it, as it's his family. Like, I dont even confront everyone in my own family, I go to the elder and they handle it, very cultural though. I think thats how my mum felt. She was the type to go to ettiequte lessons as a child so she's not confrontational at all. I think thats too extreme, im deffo someone who can stick up for herself, but might be some events where im less inclined to. Have you seen cultures like that?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I love your questions though! <3

This is where I get kinda weird and dicey...

I'd be more worried if my partner just blindly believed whatever, either the rumors or my side of it. I don't really have anything to hide, I'm pretty open, I mean: I didn't get this smart running around chasing ass when I was younger.

But also at the same time, if she's just gonna blindly believe whateverthefuck, I mean, do you know how dangerous that is?? You can end up in really bad situations that way in life, REALLY bad situations. That's how people end up in cults, getting diseases because of misinformation, etc.

I'd like to see my partner actually challenge both notions from an unbiased perspective and draw their own conclusions. Because well, that's the most mature and rational approach. To me, the conclusion is less important to me than how she came to that conclusion.

Lol just wait... you won't love them forever lmao

I like this perspective, you dont want undoubting trust? Interesting though that you'd allow her to hear someone out even if it was offensive to you

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Lol just wait... you won't love them forever lmao

I like this perspective, you dont want undoubting trust? Interesting though that you'd allow her to hear someone out even if it was offensive to you

If there's no substance to the argument, why have the argument at all?
Feelings floating around without substance, usually end up tangled in a knot.

 

[ewomack]

You know, I dont think I would say anything to my partners family, I'd want him to deal with it, as it's his family. Like, I dont even confront everyone in my own family, I go to the elder and they handle it, very cultural though. I think thats how my mum felt. She was the type to go to ettiequte lessons as a child so she's not confrontational at all. I think thats too extreme, im deffo someone who can stick up for herself, but might be some events where im less inclined to. Have you seen cultures like that?

Nonsense between families can get out of hand quickly and if people on the other side of the family think that there will be no consequences for their actions, then life with them will become absolutely miserable very quickly. There are dignified ways to defend oneself in such situations that make the perpetrator look worse than the victim. No one should get away with that stuff in any situation. They need to get called out. I'm not married to someone who took etiquette lessons, but if I were and I knew that my wife wouldn't say anything, then I would step in and deal with the situation. I would also follow up in private later and make sure that it didn't happen again.

 

[Colster]

I like to fresia with people's minds, so I'd probably add to the gossip; that time you got angry drunk, attempted to run over a cop with a lawn mower, but ended up stabbing him through the door with a garden fork.

Nah, I don't see it as my duty to defend anyone if they are wrong or stupid. The white Knight honeysuckle, yeah and in the same breadth uttering equality. fresia that!

However, if someone unjustly upset someone of mine, I'll wait, my revenge is the kind that Stephen King writes novels about. Slow, methodical, and very psychological.

But the one thing I hate, are those who won't admit they're wrong. It's just an extension of bad manners meeting inflated ego, with a twist of bullying, served on a bed of freshly cut arrogance.

Same time, I equally hate those looking for fights. My ex, Capricorn, micro managed everything. Yet couldn't handle even so much as a wiff of criticism. Let's say you don't like the colour of her Mum's new car, and which dude digs pink. Anyway, you don't, and now you have insulted the whole family, and their heritage, faith, and the greater good/god/whatever.

My ex would expect me to take that same attitude during the most minor disagreements with others, even if she/we were wrong. Again, fresia that!

I reckon that there must be a whole entire year of my life, in which I've endured the silent treatment for not defending a woman who was wrong.