Questions for the Men

[Colster]

I like this, lemme throw a real scenario at ya.... this actually happened to my mum, she went to a family party with my dad, it was his family and someones wife pulled off her hair accessories in the middle of the party. My mum was so... embarrassed and sad. If this happened to your wife, what would you do? Would you say nothing...and go home, or would you say something and then leave? I just wonder... as it's your family so it may make a difference

leave calmly and dignified. Give the person the belief that all had eventually been forgotten. Hire a locksmith, fill a few toiletries with peroxide, and leave a little token to jog their memory.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

If there's no substance to the argument, why have the argument at all?
Feelings floating around without substance, usually end up tangled in a knot.

I wish there was a hmm reaction.. this made me think. I like this, so you don't think you'd be offended at all?

Nonsense between families can get out of hand quickly and if people on the other side of the family think that there will be no consequences for their actions, then life with them will become absolutely miserable very quickly. There are dignified ways to defend oneself in such situations that make the perpetrator look worse than the victim. No one should get away with that stuff in any situation. They need to get called out. I'm not married to someone who took etiquette lessons, but if I were and I knew that my wife wouldn't say anything, then I would step in and deal with the situation. I would also follow up in private later and make sure that it didn't happen again.

Yeah would deffo change depending on the person, I can respect that. If my family was disrespectful to my fella I'd be the first to say something I think lol Not because he's not able to handle himself, but because I'd take that sooo personal. Especially my awful sister lol

I like to fresia with people's minds, so I'd probably add to the gossip; that time you got angry drunk, attempted to run over a cop with a lawn mower, but ended up stabbing him through the door with a garden fork.

Nah, I don't see it as my duty to defend anyone if they are wrong or stupid. The white Knight honeysuckle, yeah and in the same breadth uttering equality. fresia that!

However, if someone unjustly upset someone of mine, I'll wait, my revenge is the kind that Stephen King writes novels about. Slow, methodical, and very psychological.

But the one thing I hate, are those who won't admit they're wrong. It's just an extension of bad manners meeting inflated ego, with a twist of bullying, served on a bed of freshly cut arrogance.

Same time, I equally hate those looking for fights. My ex, Capricorn, micro managed everything. Yet couldn't handle even so much as a wiff of criticism. Let's say you don't like the colour of her Mum's new car, and which dude digs pink. Anyway, you don't, and now you have insulted the whole family, and their heritage, faith, and the greater good/god/whatever.

My ex would expect me to take that same attitude during the most minor disagreements with others, even if she/we were wrong. Again, fresia that!

I reckon that there must be a whole entire year of my life, in which I've endured the silent treatment for not defending a woman who was wrong.

I agree, wrong is wrong, I wouldn't respect someone that couldn't say.. "you're wrong on this one". I'd rather be alone. My fella rarely ever disagrees with me, he always sees what upset me, explains it to others when I dont wanna talk any more or im too worked up. However, if he thinks... im over reacting he will say, I cant ask for any more than that.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I wish there was a hmm reaction.. this made me think. I like this, so you don't think you'd be offended at all?

Oh of course I'd be offended, but that's not the point.
Generally when it comes to accusation and/or argument/debate, I try to zero myself out first, to try to understand where my partner is getting their angle from.

It's a critical thinking skill I've sort of developed over my management career...I used to do this with my ex years ago, but I wasn't as developed with it as I am now. Usually she'd just gaslight me, back before I even knew what that was. People only gaslight when they're trying to hide something...And that's about all the information I really needed to know. The thing she was trying to hide is that she was abusing the fact that I was naïve to my potential. She didn't want to build me up, because she was afraid I'd leave her for someone else. Instead, she held me back. I was young and just didn't know any better at the time. It makes much more sense to me now that I'm older and more experienced. The funny thing is, that I never intended to leave her, and in all actuality, her gaslighting me and being generally manipulative and abusive, is what made me end up leaving her.

I'm used to working under pressure. I don't like it, in fact I hate it, but when you work with dangerous machinery that can potentially kill you if you're not focused, you get used to it after a while. If you drop 4,000 lbs of steel, it doesn't really matter if you're wearing a hard hat or not, you're dead, it's 4,000 lbs of steel, nobody can survive that.

So when it comes to things like navigating an emotionally charged situation, I can just diffuse myself emotionally for the most part and try to approach it objectively. The part that I get tripped up over, is if I'm being gaslighted or not. And I get tripped up over that, in part because I'd like to think that someone I let close to me wouldn't do that to me, but also at the same time, I mean, well, look at how society behaves right now: That's kind of the most routine thing there is besides eating, showering, shaving and shitting. It's sad, but I'm also not wrong in knowing that. I AM however, smart enough to adapt to learn to just avoid the risk entirely. At least until society collectively pulls its head out of its ass and starts acting proper. I'll probably die before that happens, but I mean, eh, a man can dream, right? Hah.

That's why I don't really date anymore. I can do the whole song and dance in my head as a routine while being single.. God I'm an *******. Sorry.

 

[The Wanderer]

Guy: What are you doing this weekend? /"Alright, time to put it on the line."
Girl: Oh nuttin.
Guy: Well, have fun. /"Huh, well, that wasn't very engaging. Either shes not interested or not interesting. Time to abort this conversation."
Girl: **thinks to herself** what the hell was that? He asks me what I am doing and then doesn't ask me out**giggles** /"Yep, shes randomly giggling to herself now. Close call."

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Guy: What are you doing this weekend? /"Alright, time to put it on the line."
Girl: Oh nuttin.
Guy: Well, have fun. /"Huh, well, that wasn't very engaging. Either shes not interested or not interesting. Time to abort this conversation."
Girl: **thinks to herself** what the hell was that? He asks me what I am doing and then doesn't ask me out**giggles** /"Yep, shes randomly giggling to herself now. Close call."

You know I was watching some girl message her tinder matches on Youtube and she was like ugh “hi how are you is so boring, next…” I thought wow no build up and rejection the second you sense boredom… like someone can be interesting 24/7 lol So its interesting men do it too

 

[TheSkaFish]

You know I was watching some girl message her tinder matches on Youtube and she was like ugh “hi how are you is so boring, next…” I thought wow no build up and rejection the second you sense boredom… like someone can be interesting 24/7 lol So its interesting men do it too

It also takes a while to figure out how to be interesting to someone, like, how to be "you" in a way that's also interesting to them. Like, it's hard to get a feel for who someone is right away.

If they demand that you have to be interesting right away, it pretty much means you have to just wing it and say something, and hope it's something they like - hope that whatever you happen to be into at that stage in your life, just so happens to be something they find interesting. Idk. I just don't think it's very realistic you know? Being interesting 24/7 is like expecting a musician to turn out a smash hit for every song they make. It's an impossible standard.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It also takes a while to figure out how to be interesting to someone, like, how to be "you" in a way that's also interesting to them. Like, it's hard to get a feel for who someone is right away.

If they demand that you have to be interesting right away, it pretty much means you have to just wing it and say something, and hope it's something they like - hope that whatever you happen to be into at that stage in your life, just so happens to be something they find interesting. Idk. I just don't think it's very realistic you know? Being interesting 24/7 is like expecting a musician to turn out a smash hit for every song they make. It's an impossible standard.

hmm what do you think about this scenario... I know a guy I liked Ska, he was so annoying, if messages from me were 2 lines shorter than his, not instant responses, didn't answer each one of his points in detail... I would be deemed uninterested lol It became too much almost instantly, counting lines, making sure each message was perfection, I wasn't even being myself just crazy. If I came back to my phone after sleeping.. omg lol it was like I wasn't even allowed to sleep.

 

[TheSkaFish]

hmm what do you think about this scenario... I know a guy I liked Ska, he was so annoying, if messages from me were 2 lines shorter than his, not instant responses, didn't answer each one of his points in detail... I would be deemed uninterested lol It became too much almost instantly, counting lines, making sure each message was perfection, I wasn't even being myself just crazy. If I came back to my phone after sleeping.. omg lol it was like I wasn't even allowed to sleep.

Yeah...to me it sounds like that guy was insecure, and the whole thing sounds more stressful than fun.

Unfortunately I've been there myself. Not quite to that extent but still - I'm once bitten twice shy about anyone actually liking me, I'm always afraid the person is going to get bored of me and the other shoe is going to drop any minute. I've tried to learn and grow out of it, though. I like to think I've gotten better about being chill about things like that.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Yeah...to me it sounds like that guy was insecure, and the whole thing sounds more stressful than fun.

Unfortunately I've been there myself. Not quite to that extent but still - I'm once bitten twice shy about anyone actually liking me, I'm always afraid the person is going to get bored of me and the other shoe is going to drop any minute. I've tried to learn and grow out of it, though. I like to think I've gotten better about being chill about things like that.

He did tell me he's insecure, in all honesty, he's not the type of guy that would have a slim chance with me usually, he tried to get me for years... I was vulnerable I just lost my dad and he was really nice to me, like watched films with me online and you know just was a shoulder. I think trying to get me, and me strategically turning him down was more his fun, the min I liked him back it really stressed him out.

I never thought of him as an incel because he always had someone..when we reconnected he was on pause about to live in Asia 24/7 after selling all his belongings, just waiting for the stupid pandemic. However, he was an incel, the reason I initially joined this site was to find out if he posted about me here but the reason I use it was due to the attack, thats why I joined ages before I even used this thing. I also joined incel forums to see this idiot posting our chats... the vile things they put... filling his head with nonsense. Like I put a message about being sick from covid vaccination so messaged him later than usual, the comments were like, yeah right she obviously got done having sex with someone else.

So turns out, he had this whole thing about me, on some dumb incel forum, that had every time I rejected him lol most of our private messages, for people to make nasty comments on. What a nut job...

 

[Finished]

The world gets crazier with the more people you know. Maybe that's why it's so much more difficult making friends as we get older. Each person believes they are the only sane one left.

 

[ardour]

Next on things wildly implausible : CenotaphGirl dates an incel.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Next on things wildly implausible : CenotaphGirl dates an incel.

Lol despite popular belief I only date unattractive men… its my fetish …. I like to crush their self esteem as much as possible before dumping them for chad

Like honestly… you just want a reason to dislike me soooo badly, just admit you’re in love with me… it’ll be far less painful

 

[ardour]

Lol despite popular belief I only date unattractive men… its my fetish …. I like to crush their self esteem as much as possible before dumping them for chad

Like honestly… you just want a reason to dislike me soooo badly, just admit you’re in love with me… it’ll be far less painful

ha....Dumping for chad is so predictable. Sorry but it would take someone more experienced than you to even find what remains of my self-esteem.

 

[Adamridge79]

Wow...that's just a lot of arrogance woven into a shallow facade...must be here between customers

 

[CenotaphGirl]

ha....Dumping for chad is so predictable. Sorry but it would take someone more experienced than you to even find what remains of my self-esteem.

Lol it was like 4 am, best i could come up with but awh dont say that…

 

[Adamridge79]

Scientific method just cements it

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Lol despite popular belief I only date unattractive men… its my fetish …. I like to crush their self esteem as much as possible before dumping them for chad

Like honestly… you just want a reason to dislike me soooo badly, just admit you’re in love with me… it’ll be far less painful

Chad is literally just an average guy.
I don't know if Cad realizes that or not.
The only difference is that one is paying child support and the other is paying property tax.

I'm a little bit different.
I'm not getting laid, but I also don't really value human life.
I really don't value human life because I can rationalize the numbers game. But also I don't really value money either, because again: I can rationalize the numbers game.

So what do I value?
I value an ideological paradox.
The point of being alive to me is to learn and experience all that I can within rationalization to do so before my death experience.
So in essence: My highest value and ideology is Death.
I am running towards the thing that most humans spend their lives running away from, I am teaching myself to become comfortable with that which I find the most discomforting.
Eventually, All will be None, and None will be All to me, at least, hopefully, ideologically, so that Death and Birth are One and None in Unison.

Needless to say, I am the reason Chad goes to Church on Sunday.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Chad is literally just an average guy.
I don't know if Cad realizes that or not.
The only difference is that one is paying child support and the other is paying property tax.

I'm a little bit different.
I'm not getting laid, but I also don't really value human life.
I really don't value human life because I can rationalize the numbers game. But also I don't really value money either, because again: I can rationalize the numbers game.

So what do I value?
I value an ideological paradox.
The point of being alive to me is to learn and experience all that I can within rationalization to do so before my death experience.
So in essence: My highest value and ideology is Death.
I am running towards the thing that most humans spend their lives running away from, I am teaching myself to become comfortable with that which I find the most discomforting.
Eventually, All will be None, and None will be All to me, at least, hopefully, ideologically, so that Death and Birth are One and None in Unison.

Needless to say, I am the reason Chad goes to Church on Sunday.

I have to say sorry for giving this a mere “like” by accident I love this… I love the concept of this. This is how I live everyday…,with the promise of black after so if i come back as a bloody caterpillar i’ll just lay out in the sun and wait for the birds

 

[Adamridge79]

Oh, maggot at best, most likely a zygote. One can dream however

 

[Adamridge79]

......sigh.....