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  1. Lone Apothecary

    Efforts Blowing Up In Your Face

    Ah, jeez, talk about catastrophizing and having egg on your face. For someone who strives to be rational, I get incredibly irrational when it comes to my anxious thoughts. My shift today wasn't that bad, and my schedule for next week is pretty manageable, so I think I'll reconsider leaving for...
  2. Lone Apothecary

    Efforts Blowing Up In Your Face

    It's been a while since I started a new thread on here. My last thread on here ended on a positive note, and I'd like to say I've continued to improve since then, but I digress. I'd like to briefly summarize the events of my past few years. Feel free to skip to this paragraph; this isn't...
  3. Lone Apothecary

    Self consciousness / Underconfidence / shyness

    Ah, if it's a personal preference, then hey, you like what you like. I wasn't sure if you were backing yourself into a corner thinking you were too old or not. When you say things that indicate that you feel like you haven't gotten the things or success that others your age have gotten, it makes...
  4. Lone Apothecary

    Self consciousness / Underconfidence / shyness

    The description of your assumption in the original post was oversimplified, but--after reading this--I agree with you. Recovering from something that damages you deeply is incredibly difficult. I still struggle on a regular basis with PTSD from something that happened years ago. Our thoughts...
  5. Lone Apothecary

    when your past haunts you!

    The night when one of my mother's ex-boyfriends (the father of my younger half-sibling) abused her when I was younger still haunts me to this day. Yelling or any sort of domestic tension makes me feel like the frightened child I was that night, all over again. I've lost sleep over it. I've spent...
  6. Lone Apothecary

    A quick hello and a question.

    Hello to you, too, katkit, and welcome to the forum. As for your question, my best bet would either be schadenfreude (joy from the misfortune of others), or he's laughing at others to make himself feel better about his own insecurities.
  7. Lone Apothecary

    What made you smile today?

    I woke up this morning, checked my gmail, and noticed a notification from my favorite writing site stating that I'd gotten a new badge. It was for getting 75 hearts on my work in total. Now, the badges are superficial, and I don't care about 75 hearts simply because it's a big number, but I'm...
  8. Lone Apothecary

    Self consciousness / Underconfidence / shyness

    I'm no psychologist, but I always fall back on "nature and nurture" to explain these sorts of things. That said, depression, anxiety, and chemical imbalances may all be playing a part, and they may all be influencing each other as well. When dealing with co-morbidity, things tend to work in...
  9. Lone Apothecary

    Does where you live play a part?

    I'd say that location can definitely have an impact on feelings of loneliness. I live in a little rural, coastal community in Newfoundland about 15 minutes away from the nearest town by car (I once walked to town, and it took me over 2 hours). There aren't many people in this community that I...
  10. Lone Apothecary

    Deal Breakers

    Drug habits (excepting caffeine), rapidly deteriorating health, excessive illogic or irrationality, excessive superstition, religious beliefs [Unless someone can justify their beliefs--at which point I'd simply convert--I wouldn't be able to respect them enough to form a deep, intimate...
  11. Lone Apothecary

    What are you hoping for at this moment?

    I'm hoping to find a job opening that suits me.
  12. Lone Apothecary

    One positive thing you accomplished today...

    After what my psychologist told me yesterday, I stopped worrying so much about "what if" scenarios & spent the morning calling up local businesses seeing if they were hiring or taking on volunteers. I haven't found any job openings yet, but I'm looking into volunteering with the arts council or...
  13. Lone Apothecary

    Enjoying my loneliness

    I'd say I'm a loner, yes. For the longest time, I felt horrible for not having friends and doing activities with those friends like others seemed to do so often. I realized, though, that I didn't really have a personal desire for those things so much as I was preoccupied with how people would...
  14. Lone Apothecary

    QUESTIONNAIRE FOR LONELY PEOPLE

    "how long you live in loneliness?" Since December 2011, although now I'm starting to feel like less I'm living in loneliness & more like I'm living in comfortable seclusion. "How many friends do you have?" Three. Two are long-time online friends, one is someone I tentatively call a friend who I...
  15. Lone Apothecary

    Who likes to read?

    I love reading. I read stories & poems on Figment--a writing website--on a regular basis; I post my own stuff there sometimes, but I digress. I like horror above all. Quiet horror, body horror, extreme horror, horrific bizarro fiction, etc--it's all awesome. I also like mystery, thriller...
  16. Lone Apothecary

    Feeling really low

    *Hug* I wanted a phone back in high school to call/text my friends & such. I got a phone in college for one reason: to call for help in case of an emergency. I couldn't even think of 10 people to put on my "fab 10" or whatever it was. The occasional stray text or promo is about all I get, but...
  17. Lone Apothecary

    Do you think lonely people tend to take less photos than others?

    It's anecdotal, mind you, but I bloody hate taking photos of myself or having people take photos of me, so I think you're on to something. Even when someone asks for a photo (this has only happened once), I'll make them wait quite some time before I take one & show it to them.
  18. Lone Apothecary

    What are you thinking right now?

    I'm thinking about how long it's been since I've been on here.
  19. Lone Apothecary

    If someone you were dating didn't see a long term relationship with you, how would..

    I'd prefer if it were done in a frank and upfront manner as soon as possible. I imagine that's how I'd end it with someone. I'm not known for being particularly tactful, and I'm not one for beating around the bush.
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