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I'm glad you lot are so confident and upbeat in real life. But I still think there are cases of men (and women as well) who aren't truly unattractive physically, but are seen as undesirable because of other qualities, including shyness, anxiety, and the like. That's my bottleneck. If I could...

Fair point, perhaps my judgment is quite biased seeing as I cannot stand the superficiality of FB.. but, I dunno, I think part of the OP's problem is a difficulty in seeing the grandeur and incredible quality of the ordinary shy, geeky guy. I do indeed think one can learn to like the things...

What do you aim to get out of this? Hanging onto cynical beliefs, true or not, is not going to increase your chances with the opposite sex. It's very likely to do the opposite. Perhaps you just needed to vent? in that case, I understand.. but don't obsess on this. You cannot change...

Maybe you need to try seeing the kind of guy who doesn't have a Facebook account where they post pictures of their girlfriends, the social events they attend, and believe the lie that somehow they are incredibly important and the whole world wants to know what they do. The only guys I know who...

I don't believe you could get all these positive indicators, for years on end, and it's either just "nothing" or "simple friendliness." Now, some women are indeed friendly with most people as a rule.. but if you're going to look at the list of "indicators of attraction," all the things you just...

You know what, at your age, I often felt much the same way. You're not alone thinking this way. I think there's a lot of folks out there who feel they're not particularly good at anything.. it's just they don't express that frustration, because somehow, they believe in optimism even if it has...

Is it important to also be a catch, so you can meet the standards of some highly selective individual who is too proud for their own good?

In that case, find women in real life. It's easier in some ways, and at least more organic.

Thanks to bender for taking the time to write that. It's a lot to take in, so I will try to provide a comment on it at a later time. There are a few points I would challenge, if he doesn't mind.. not sure he'll appreciate it, though, given this is his advice free of charge!

If you have had women routinely send you unsolicited messages, and you are honest with your picture and profile, then you don't even need to be on OKCupid. One sign that you are "above that level" is if you are getting non-spam unsolicited messages. It's pretty much a fact. This kind of thing...

I guess I'd just want to see more tips for the shy and antisocial.. How does a guy who is shy and, due to a lifetime of lack of connection.. has become a bit misanthropic.. make any improvement in terms of meeting women? Now THAT I would pay for.

The only "fool" I will not suffer is an arrogant person. :D Not specifically about the OP, mind you, but in any case a lack of accomplishments, a lack of doing 100 things at once, a lack of being "industrious" or whatever.. such qualities do not compare to a judgmental attitude based on what...

They said the same things the first time they were here, and I did not appreciate it then, nor do I now. Not only does this individual seem to suggest the only kind of normal for them is some kind of "extremely intelligent with high ambition," a highly irritating kind of "I'm just too good for...

Some folks who lack social intuition might find something useful from charts or simple binary answers, on complex subjects like this. Socializing, for most people, is a complex thing.. for others, it is an extreme complexity that needs some kind of informed guidance to get anywhere.

Condescension is not so normal... or at least not around here, so I don't think you'll find any like-minded folks. :D

Oppressive, loud, heavy atmospheres... people wearing their evening best on the street, going into or out of bars/clubs, shouting and making strange gestures... drunk folks on a mean streak talking loudly in your direction, making you think you're their next target... How do you operate in...

I think there's a lot of folks in your position who would benefit from hearing about your improvement, so that they know it's possible. I hope to hear more from you. The other thing... you clearly state some of the things that you desire. Contrary to what some may say, this is not a bad...

Shy, passive, indecisive wouldn't make the grade for you?

I'll admit there's an element of shallowness in some of his posts, perhaps "all" if you're conservative, perhaps "none" if you're very liberal... but if you're going to try and take the high moral ground here, you need to be able to say with a straight face that your thoughts on relationships...

At least you could have told him "here's what you did wrong,".. eh?