Anyone "normal" here?

[exasperated]

Out of desperation I'd like to throw a message out into the ether in the hope that someday someone might come across this. If you do please message me.

I have an advanced degree and a great career. I'm an extrovert and do not have issues with self-esteem. I've just been very unlucky with friends and do not have any family. I live in a small suburban town where cultural mindsets are not prevalent. I'm generally not a "self help" or internet message board type person, but loneliness is wearing on my usually active life style so I'm trying anything to find people I can connect with. People who live in urban environments have a lot of options for connecting with like-minded people and are not looking for internet penpals, but in the rare chance someone finds this and is willing to help me out, I'm dying to connect with a culturally literate, informed and dynamic friend again. Not being around people you relate to wears at your soul.

 

[Xpendable]

Can you remember the most interesting conversation you had?

 

[kamya]

The not so humble brag. Good luck finding the normal people you're looking for. Whatever normal means.

 

[VanillaCreme]

No, we're ALL weirdos and we like it that way.

 

[Batman55]

Condescension is not so normal... or at least not around here, so I don't think you'll find any like-minded folks.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

Not being around people you relate to wears at your soul.

Agreed. I've tried connecting with people I couldn't relate to. These individuals were pleasant, but being with them did nothing to ail my loneliness.

That being said... don't bother looking for "normal" people. Even the ones that don't stand out have their own eccentricities.

 

[Tiina63]

Move somewhere else where there are more opportunities to meet people. You wrote that you have a great career, so I am assuming that your skills are in demand, so finding a new job in a large town or city should not be too difficult.
Re.normal. I personally think of myself as 100% normal. It is everyone else who is peculiar!!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Normal is a setting on a **** washing machine.

"Normal" is like the ideal woman, each person has a different idea of what it is. But thanks for saying most of the people here aren't normal....very kind of you.

 

[LonesomeDay]

I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what part of "normal" you refer to?

 

[Sci-Fi]

The OP didn't say normal, they said "normal". There are plenty of "normal" people on this site and many who are culturally literate.

 

[Tealeaf]

You don't sound that normal to me.

 

[Aisha]

Normal is subjective, like most other things. Personally, I wouldn't consider people who are 'like-minded' to be the only form of normal there is. There are many well-informed/educated/culturally literate people here, who are also well-rounded, polite and interesting. I doubt the best approach to finding a friend is to alienate yourself by calling everyone who doesn't fit into your box abnormal and thus immediately putting everyone on the defense. This is merely a forum for people who are lonely. Loneliness happens to everyone at some point in their lives. But please don't look down on those who are also here to reach out to others, and then wonder why you're lonely.

 

[TheSkaFish]

"Normal" was probably not the best way to put it since it rubs people the wrong way, but I know what you meant. Yes, there are lots of people like that here. Just reach out to anyone you find interesting.

 

[Tealeaf]

"Normal" was probably not the best way to put it since it rubs people the wrong way, but I know what you meant. Yes, there are lots of people like that here. Just reach out to anyone you find interesting.

I'm just saying, "normal" people with all their honeysuckle together and who are above the company of those with personal problems don't need to turn to the Internet for friends. It's a very confusing post.

 

[lifestream]

Welcome back, exasperated.

I hope you'll stick around this time.

 

[Despicable Me]

I don't really see the need to mock the topic creator. He didn't mean anything against the people here. He's asking for help.

In any case, I understand your issue, though I can't really say I'm in the same position. My own issues more come from my own need to deny society, rather than anyone denying me as an individual. And I'd probably not call myself "normal", despite appearances that might suggest it is the case. But I do understand the issues of living in a small town. I live in one as well, and have lived in a few for the last 10 years or so. However, I grew up in a city. Most of the people in small towns develop a particular mindset, making it more difficult to approach anyone because there is a group-think mentality. One 'mistake' and you feel like an alien when they look at you as if you've just beamed down from the mothership. And each town even seems to have it's own micro-culture that is prevalent. So it also varies from town to town. 'Lacking culture', as you imply, seems to be a general fit, though.
My advice is maybe try to find some ways to slip some interesting conversation into the chit-chat of your daily life, or possibly go out of your way to go somewhere new in town, if possible. Try to find others that may be like yourself, perhaps people who are not originally from a local small town. They may have a more open mindset. I've found that to typically be the case and have held far more interesting conversations with people who aren't from around where I live than I've ever had with the majority of people raised around here. There are, of course, many exceptions and some very interesting people who were raised in these small towns. So explore your options and don't be too afraid of getting that alien-look.

If you truly can't find someone locally at all, then I'd probably agree with Tiina63. Time to move on somewhere that will make you happy. There is no point in staying somewhere that makes you miserable.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I thought it was insulting to people on here.

 

[BeyondShy]

I thought it was insulting to people on here.

So did I.

 

[TheSkaFish]

"Normal" was probably not the best way to put it since it rubs people the wrong way, but I know what you meant. Yes, there are lots of people like that here. Just reach out to anyone you find interesting.

I'm just saying, "normal" people with all their honeysuckle together and who are above the company of those with personal problems don't need to turn to the Internet for friends. It's a very confusing post.

I don't know if they are necessarily above the company of people with personal problems, or if they just naturally happen to gravitate towards different circles. You're right though, usually they don't need to turn to the Internet for friends. It is indeed confusing.

I thought it was insulting to people on here.

I don't know where I stand on it to be honest. On the one hand, I do feel insulted when someone suggests that I'm not normal, or socially deficient in some way. It feels like they are positioning themselves as "better" than me. But on the other hand, I don't really care in most cases, and also, I do know there is a lot about me that I should be doing differently and should have fixed this long ago, so I kind of understand. I don't like it, but I sort of see it.

 

[Xpendable]

Being called normal would be baffling to me. In fact I think this forum is too normal.