Women less forgiving towards unattractive men.

[Triple Bogey]

Do we even want to go into how less forgiving are men towards unattractive women? What to do, the world is a bad place.

Yes, the same can be said about men towards women. These kinds of ideas are pointless imo. How about changing it to how unforgiving people are towards the unattractive in general...

Or how about we focus on what good things we all possess and how we can exhibit them to others so that no matter what or how you look, you'd still be attractive to others?

attractive people don't understand what unattractive people have to put up with.

---

Having not read up on the subject and the relevant research I can't really take an opinion. This was one study, which does seem a little vague in it's methodology. I wonder if there are better ones out there on a similar subject.

Still, I always regard myself as an ugly person. I have taken steps to improve my body image, but ultimately I was dealt a crap hand when it came to looks and it's probably one of the biggest sources of my general unhappiness. I'm never going to be able to change it though. In my limited experience with relationships and dating, I have found that despite being horrible guys, women will always prefer the attractive guy over the unattractive guy who's actually quite nice. I remember most girls I've shown an interest in visibly shuddering at the idea of being close to me. That wasn't exactly great for my already limited confidence. In fact I'm pretty sure I harbour some sort of resentment against women in general for it. Which is horrible, but... well. People hurt me too many times like that and it's not so easily forgotten.

Sure, there are people who say they don't care about looks, and fine. You say that then I'll believe you, but I'm taking it with a pinch of salt. I've never met, face to face, anyone with that outlook. I question if such a person really exists, or if it's something they just say.

I don't know, I'd like to think it's the case where looks are a factor, but they're not all that important. Or something like that. Unfortunately this isn't the case I've experienced. Quite a personal subject for me I'm afraid so... yeah, heh.

I believe you. I think you are right, 100%.
Attractive people coming on here and saying 'blah, blah, blah - it's not true' - they have no idea, not a clue. They don't understand. Judging by that let's see the faces thread, many people on here are attractive. So I don't think they really qualify posting on this thread.

---

I have never once thought I was attractive. I have always thought I'm unattractive, physically mostly. I am just too ashamed to even mention it at all. It sounds like you may not agree though.

I really don't know what to say to your post here. I just know it didn't help me feel any better, just as outcasted as you would be feeling right now about being unattractive. I don't feel welcome responding in this thread so I guess I'll just stop here.

---

I didn't mean to be harsh with you. I know you are only trying to help.

I am sure I have seen your photo on the 'let's see the faces 'thread. You are a very attractive lady. I am sure others agree with me.

I think the trouble is I have been hearing the 'looks have nothing to do with it' speech for years now and it does get on my nerves a bit.

 

[VanillaCreme]

But for some people, looks really don't matter. I suppose that depends on if you can ever run into those people. And even being the beautiful person she is, she feels as though she's not. Which is exactly how many others feel here.

 

[Triple Bogey]

But for some people, looks really don't matter. I suppose that depends on if you can ever run into those people. And even being the beautiful person she is, she feels as though she's not. Which is exactly how many others feel here.

that's exactly what I said before. Some people have to be really lucky meeting somebody.

 

[TheRealCallie]

And some people refuse to think that maybe they aren't as "ugly" as they think they are.

I never really thought I was all that good looking and I denied it for YEARS even though I was told otherwise. So, the fact that you are sitting there saying that "attractive" people don't understand is bullshit and an excuse to feel sorry for yourself.

 

[Xpendable]

They're never going to tell you you're ugly in your face.

 

[TheRealCallie]

They're never going to tell you you're ugly in your face.

Actually, some people do precisely that. But just because no one says you are NOT ugly, doesn't mean they think you ARE ugly.

 

[VanillaCreme]

And some people refuse to think that maybe they aren't as "ugly" as they think they are.

I have been told I was pretty, and by people I didn't know from a can of paint. Maybe I'm not as horrific as I think I am, but I'd much rather have the image of myself being a Viking warrior with boobs than to pretend I'm a top model.

They're never going to tell you you're ugly in your face.

I've been told I was ugly. To my face.

 

[Triple Bogey]

And some people refuse to think that maybe they aren't as "ugly" as they think they are.

I never really thought I was all that good looking and I denied it for YEARS even though I was told otherwise. So, the fact that you are sitting there saying that "attractive" people don't understand is bullshit and an excuse to feel sorry for yourself.

bullshit to you as well.

I don't even feel sorry for myself EITHER.

---

They're never going to tell you you're ugly in your face.

Actually, some people do precisely that. But just because no one says you are NOT ugly, doesn't mean they think you ARE ugly.

Just accept you have no idea what any of us really look like. And you have no idea what our life experiences have been like.

You spouting your crap isn't going to change my mind about anything !

 

[TheRealCallie]

Mhm, you keep on believing what you believe. It's gotten you so far already.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Just accept you have no idea what any of us really look like. And you have no idea what our life experiences have been like.

You spouting your crap isn't going to change my mind about anything !

Why do you pick arguments for the sake of arguing? You've posted your picture. All it takes is one picture to get a general idea. We don't exactly need to scan the inside of your brain to know what you look like. That's not spouting crap. Someone telling you that you're not as bad looking as you think isn't a bad thing. If anything, that could be a compliment.

Calm down.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Let's see you

No thanks, heh. I'm not posting my ugly mug on a public forum for a multitude of reasons. Suffice to say, it's a rather bad idea and even on the off chance it was okay, I fear nothing good would come of it.

You know what? That's exactly how I feel and it's why I would never post mine in the Let's see the faces! thread.

There are a few people here on this forum that I sent my photo to in the past and they all reported back to me their monitor began acting funny as soon as they viewed it. They threatened to send me the bill for a new one.

True story.

I don't give a honeysuckle what you look like, so my answer is the same for "attractive" and "unattractive" people.

That's because you have class.

you are so much up her arse it's embarrassing !

 

[VanillaCreme]

Enough.

 

[ardour]

I was never negative when I was younger either.
Overall I am an upbeat person. Always happy, jolly, gets on with everybody.

Neither was I. It’s something that developed throughout my 20s once I was mature enough to realize how I was perceived, by women in particular.
I don’t walk around angry all day and try not to let any bitterness slip in conversation. Instead I talk about things that interest me and try to relate to people that way. Not that it matters.

That said we are never really the best judge of ourselves, there could very well be other factors, quirks or idiosyncrasies that are turning people off.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I was never negative when I was younger either.
Overall I am an upbeat person. Always happy, jolly, gets on with everybody.

Neither was I. It’s something that developed throughout my 20s once I was mature enough to realize how I was perceived, by women in particular.
I don’t walk around angry all day and try not to let any bitterness let slip in conversation. Instead I talk about things that interest me and try to relate to people that way. Not that it matters.

That said I we are never really the best judge of ourselves, there could very well be other factors, quirks or idiosyncrasies that are turning people off.

Me too. You know, whenever I see your posts on the topic of women I really get where you guys are coming from. Perhaps there is room for a third partner in your cigar company?

It's a real challenge for me not to be bitter though. I don't want to be a bitter person, I don't think it's cool or anything, I don't enjoy it. I want to be happy. But my bitterness comes from my experiences.

 

[BeyondShy]

I don't give a honeysuckle what you look like, so my answer is the same for "attractive" and "unattractive" people.

That's because you have class.

you are so much up her arse it's embarrassing !

Really? This remark is supposed to be insulting to me and to make me look bad in front of everyone here? And all because I complimented a friend?

I never thought this was a bad thing to do and something to avoid whenever necessary.

Although I have the feeling that if I start insulting her and slamming every other post she makes I'd suddenly be considered a good guy in here and the cold shoulder treatment I have been receiving would thaw almost overnight.

Sorry, no. I don't turn my back on friends and she's been a very good one to me.

 

[Batman55]

Me too. I've said before no one would think of me as negative in real life. That's because I don't share the thoughts I have here in everyday life. That's why I think being negative or positive is not such a determinant factor, when a girl likes you she just does. I talked to girls about their boyfriends flaws and they always get defensive and make mental gymnastic to justify their shortcomings. When a woman likes a guy, she will delude herself to think he can't do no wrong.

I'm glad you lot are so confident and upbeat in real life.

But I still think there are cases of men (and women as well) who aren't truly unattractive physically, but are seen as undesirable because of other qualities, including shyness, anxiety, and the like.

That's my bottleneck. If I could rid myself of insecurity, I'm certain I'd do a lot better. Not to be conceited, but there's really no question about that.

 

[ardour]

Perhaps there is room for a third partner in your cigar company?

Probably not something you should aspire to, though.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I didn't mean to be harsh with you. I know you are only trying to help.

I am sure I have seen your photo on the 'let's see the faces 'thread. You are a very attractive lady. I am sure others agree with me.

I think the trouble is I have been hearing the 'looks have nothing to do with it' speech for years now and it does get on my nerves a bit.

No, I've never posted a photo in the Faces thread. Not just cos of privacy reasons, but cos I just never have enough guts to do it because I honestly don't think I'm attractive. Just don't see it.

Well I did say that for some it might matter a lot, but that doesn't mean that all of us care about looks.... anyway, I'm done chiming the same thing over and over again. It's all a matter of your perception on things sometimes. That's all I'll say here.

They're never going to tell you you're ugly in your face.

I have been told I was ugly to my face, in public, by a random stranger. It wasn't even just some kid trying to annoy me. It was an adult who seemed quite well versed.

 

[lonelypanda]

I have been told I was ugly to my face, in public, by a random stranger. It wasn't even just some kid trying to annoy me. It was an adult who seemed quite well versed.

That doesn't make it true, I've been called ugly before and I don't think I'm ugly. I've also been called fat, more than once and im not even fat. I think some people just want to tear you down because their miserable. I always think 2 things in situations like that. 1, everybody is ugly to somebody and 2, people who talk like that are rotten ass people and I thank God I wasn't born with a nasty heart like that. I know it's really hard not to let it get it to you, because I've had people point out my flaws to my face before and it really hurts, but getting down on yourself is letting those nasty people win and have that power over you.

 

[Despicable Me]

Some people think the Mona Lisa is an ugly painting of an ugly woman. However that doesn't mean it doesn't belong in a museum or that it shouldn't be the most well known painting ever created. They are just opinions.
Lonelypanda is right. The opinions of a few people really don't matter much and they don't always represent the truth or reality.
Beauty is extremely subjective. It doesn't matter who else thinks you're beautiful/handsome. The important thing is to find beauty in yourself first.