Flirting stops men from bullying?

[CenotaphGirl]

*Ramblings so no need to respond*

Was thinking about this earlier today as me and my bestie were out last night, and reminiscing about school days.

I was the only “WOC” at school until my best friend burst through the doors… she dealt with the bullying with sexual humour, like even one guy called us “slaves” and I remember my bestie blew him a kiss and said “only for you”… I never knew just being flirty was a excellent defence against men but it worked… 3 months after she came… no more bullying…

I have adopted this approach in most areas of my life, I flirt to get what I want, and to stop men from bullying me. I am always the girl they want to hurt, idk if its because I look sexy when I cry or what but if someone is going to be picked on.. it will always be the princess.

So, now its so hard for me to stop lol its my defence mechanism. I flirt without even knowing it. Rob actually accused me of flirting with his friends and family who didn't like me… he must be right as they like me now

I was told trust is everything, and he trusts me, but when I flirt right in front of him it makes him angry… I immediately went to flirting to avoid the conflict… and said something you know… he got so pissed at me… Idk I find when I anger people, I laugh at times, not sure if I laugh because I dont wanna cry… but I started laughing uncontrollably and he just hugged me and said we can work on it. (Ughh I love him so aggressive and sooo understanding)

Is being the flirty, cute, princess…me? Or can this change? Even my mother is a flirt and shes old so idk… but if he trusts me why is he so angry ? Why is it men calm down after a little flirt? Idk… all these questions

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Somehow I think if I were to flirt with men, to try and deflect harassing behavior, it would only make things worse...

 

[ardour]

Can confirm that it doesn't work on other men.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Somehow I think if I were to flirt with men, to try and deflect harassing behavior, it would only make things worse...

Try it and see let me know if they bend to your will

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Can confirm that it doesn't work on other men.

Lool come on guys, give it a whirl just dont try it with women, as… you might get locked up

 

[TheRealCallie]

So, you chose manipulation over being a dick?

Flirting also brings stalkers and attacks.

 

[Cherubino]

I was bullied by women because of not flirting with them ... so yes flirting does stop bullying

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Try it and see let me know if they bend to your will

 

[CenotaphGirl]

So, you chose manipulation over being a dick?

Flirting also brings stalkers and attacks.

This is very true but no flirting brings me more of these things to me personally its a curse.

When I act normal around some guys, they literally hate me.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I was bullied by women because of not flirting with them ... so yes flirting does stop bullying

See someone understands

 

[TheRealCallie]

When I act normal around some guys, they literally hate me.

Who cares? Why exactly does it matter to you so much if some random person doesn't like you? Do you even like all these people you flirt with?

Honestly, I think it's disrespectful to your man, which is likely why he gets angry. Flirting with guys to get your way is immature, IMO.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Who cares? Why exactly does it matter to you so much if some random person doesn't like you? Do you even like all these people you flirt with?

Honestly, I think it's disrespectful to your man, which is likely why he gets angry. Flirting with guys to get your way is immature, IMO.

I do when they attack me and bully me sadly … even women act this way towards me but they are usually harmless

Oh and yeahhh I genuinely have no idea who I flirted with or what he’s talking about its not a conscious decision every time I flirt with someone, sometimes the words just come out suggestive

 

[TheRealCallie]

I do when they attack me and bully me sadly … even women act this way towards me but they are usually harmless

See, I don't understand that. It makes no sense. A tease would get attacked long before someone else here. But yeah, I would say if you want to keep the man you have, you might want to stop. Trust only goes so far before doubt starts to creep in.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

See, I don't understand that. It makes no sense. A tease would get attacked long before someone else here. But yeah, I would say if you want to keep the man you have, you might want to stop. Trust only goes so far before doubt starts to creep in.

I dont understand it either, but this has happened to me my whole life. Like people assume crazy things about me, even that I think im too good to talk to them and so on, so I usually try to be nice… my nice is always flirty, it used to be a conscious decision to flirt my way out of conflict but now its second nature.

 

[Punisher]

Honestly, I think it's disrespectful to your man, which is likely why he gets angry. Flirting with guys to get your way is immature, IMO.

Not only is it disrespectful, it is embarrassing. It won't be long before he's had enough. Change your ways!!

 

[user 188685]

I don't know,I'm not a flirt, in my younger years I was but not anymore.

 

[Unsigned]

The few times I have had women flirt with me I have found it very off putting.
I suppose it's from years and years of being messed with in school.
I just feel they're trying to set me up for some type of humiliation.
I never return the flirt. I just act let it went over my head.

One kind of humorous incident happened about 15 years ago.
I was at the grocery store and the cashier - a younger Spanish girl - looked at the final price and cooed to me "Ooooh....that looks nice...".
I had NO IDEA what she was going on about.
I looked at the total and saw it was an dollar amount with no cents, and was like "um...yeah...that's lucky I guess".
What I didn't realize until I was back at my car was that her comment wasn't about the no cents. The bill total was $69.00...

 

[Cherubino]

I just feel they're trying to set me up for some type of humiliation.

Definitely they may be flirting for either evil or neat reasons ... like to validate themselves by cunningly trying to use vulnerable men (sometimes they get passively angry and bullying if they don't get the expected outcome) ... of course there are cases when they flirt because genuinely like you ... but I was bullied by coworker and neighbor women for a really strange reason, my lack of interest in close interaction with them (I admit I'm very introverted while them quite flirty) ... anyway I somehow managed to decrypt that they seem to interpret it as arrogance and "coldness" (WTF!) as if it was my duty to make them feel attractive and validated like the majority of men surrounding them used to (edit ... or didn't use to?)

 

[Unsigned]

Definitely they may be flirting for either evil or neat reasons ... like to validate themselves by cunningly trying to use vulnerable men (sometimes they get passively angry and bullying if they don't get the expected outcome) ... of course there are cases when they flirt because genuinely like you ... but I was bullied by coworker and neighbor women for a really strange reason, my lack of interest in close interaction with them (I admit I'm very introverted while them quite flirty) ... anyway I somehow managed to decrypt that they seem to interpret it as arrogance and "coldness" (WTF!) as if it was my duty to make them feel attractive and validated like the majority of men surrounding them used to

Oh to be clear...I know my reaction is due to my own f-d up mind.
When I look at it in retrospect, it is highly unlikely a female who over 21 would flirt with someone to set him up so her and her friends can humiliate him. It's just that when it happens, it's a visceral feeling/reaction that I get and that's my own problem.

 

[Cherubino]

Oh to be clear...I know my reaction is due to my own f-d up mind.
When I look at it in retrospect, it is highly unlikely a female who over 21 would flirt with someone to set him up so her and her friends can humiliate him. It's just that when it happens, it's a visceral feeling/reaction that I get and that's my own problem.

age is just a number ... but indeed I didn't get mocking flirt from women at an age later than 21
edit ... memory failure, I did get mocking flirt a couple of times after 21