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Can anyone guess where or what it is?

I find it hard to do this, right now I'm at the point in my life where I seem to be hitting a barrier, like I interact with a girl, but I don't know how to escalate sexually...Actually I know how but the right feelings are being covered with fear and some sort of embarrassment, like it's wrong...

yeah ever since I started working at this new job, my feet stink I need to wash them and such my mum is always nagging me, but I'm too tired to take them off all I want to do is drop into bed,,,

...I'm not the type of person to spend my time in the house. I go out, and I meet loads of people, I make conversation with many people, I find it easy, I can laugh and be social, interact with lots of different types of people...But I still feel messed up inside, I still feel lonely, I still...

(Or just any stranger) ..."hey wassup..." or "hi" "hi, how are you?" How do you usually respond? How loud are you? How is your body lanuage/facial features? How would you feel?

EDIT: HUGE TYPO IN THE TITLE honeysuckle. "I don't know HOW......." ....long I'll be here on this forum, but I have really felt lonely and depressed, and anxiety and all that other malarky pretty much all my life, there have been good experiences but that's just it an experience, nothing constant...

Something horrible is happening inside of me. I can't hold it any longer, my social mask of sanity is about to slip. but yeah I hate you for the way you make me feel, the way you feel threatened by me, the way you attack and defend, the way you get familiar with me, the way you've been name...

Every time I walk past a couple, an emotional reaction is triggered inside of me, I just feel paralyzed and look at them, then I look down :( and keep on walking. I tend to feel this at high streets/shopping centres/malls where it's full of them.