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Strange loneliness
#1
Hi everyone!

There is something that I need to get off my chest. I apologise in advance for my grammar; my native language isn't English.
So... My story goes like this: I have an amazing mother and I also have an amazing son. I have everything that I could possibly wish for except a husband. I separated from my husband because he turned out to be irresponsible towards my son and towards me. Let's just sum it up and say he became a danger in our family and I couldn't let anything dangerous be around my child. I don't miss my husband at all. But I miss someone else, someone I never met and I feel lonely because of that. I am not ugly but I am not beautiful either and when it comes to a husband I seek to offer and receive the purest kind of affection... The purest. And affection, not anything else.  I am dreaming of something so different from anything that I have ever known and this dreaming state makes me feel extremely lonely. No matter what I do I feel like something very important is missing from my life.
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#2
It sounds like you're sorting out some very important things, there.  I think it's good to dream about the sort of relationships we need, even though it does make us feel pretty lonely when we wake up.   I always thought that dating when you're lonely is a bit like going grocery shopping when you're hungry.  We don't want to settle for anything less than what we really need.

I'm unable to date right now, so I do a lot of dreaming, myself.  I know what I want in a partner, and this is what I'll be looking for when I'm back on the dating scene.  As a middle age man, I want someone who's nice, no drama, very affectionate and willing to be my team mate, 100%.  My desires have gotten much simpler than they were when I was younger.  Still, this is what I want so badly it makes me ache sometimes.  

I hope you find what you're looking for.  You have many, many wonderful years ahead of you.  :O)
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#3
(09-05-2019, 02:10 PM)harper Wrote: It sounds like you're sorting out some very important things, there.  I think it's good to dream about the sort of relationships we need, even though it does make us feel pretty lonely when we wake up.   I always thought that dating when you're lonely is a bit like going grocery shopping when you're hungry.  We don't want to settle for anything less than what we really need.

I'm unable to date right now, so I do a lot of dreaming, myself.  I know what I want in a partner, and this is what I'll be looking for when I'm back on the dating scene.  As a middle age man, I want someone who's nice, no drama, very affectionate and willing to be my team mate, 100%.  My desires have gotten much simpler than they were when I was younger.  Still, this is what I want so badly it makes me ache sometimes.  

I hope you find what you're looking for.  You have many, many wonderful years ahead of you.  :O)

Thank you for your kind reply! Smile

I also hope you find what you are wishing for. 
You are so right about the shopping "when you're hungry" thing. Smile 
Indeed, lowering the standards is never a solution.
About the aching part, I can tell you what I usually do to ease the pain. I listen to music a lot and it actually helps. I don't know if it works for everyone but I think it's worth a try. It doesn't take the pain away completely but it just helps me cope.
I believe in the notion of eternity and afterlife. So I never really lose hope. I feel there is no end to life and I feel that when it seems like everything is over, it's actually not really over. When I deal with negative thoughts I try to remind myself that it's just a phase that I just happen to be going through. The struggle is still there but it just seems less... dark. Smile


I wish you a wonderful, wonderful day! Smile
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#4
Alexandra93, you sound like someone facing normal challenges in life, and I know that being single and lonely is a common one.   Your belief in an eternal afterlife is warranted, and that helps me too put any deficiencies or problems in this temporary world and life into a proper perspective.  I just hope you've chosen the right faith to achieve that dream because there's only one way that I'm aware of.

Here's a song just for you:

 https://youtu.be/8FXLo3aCkuQ
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#5
I don't find this strange at all. Then again, I'm biased as I think I'm beginning to realize more that I'm not far off from what you seek as well. Affection.

It really hurts when the people you love the most are incapable of reciprocating it despite any over-sharing or constant initiating.

I apologize for not being more thorough with my reply. I just couldn't help but immensely relate to the latter halve of your post. It most certainly helped a bit just now to know that I'm not alone with that. So, I hope my reply helps some for you as well.

I wish you the best and I'm sorry both you and the little one are going through this. Sad *hugs*
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#6
(09-05-2019, 01:41 PM)alexandra93 Wrote: But I miss someone else, someone I never met and I feel lonely because of that.
Quote:No matter what I do I feel like something very important is missing from my life.
I know the feel. Do you have "him" in your dreams?
I mean, in night dreams, not daydreams.
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#7
(09-09-2019, 08:41 AM)Siku Wrote: I don't find this strange at all. Then again, I'm biased as I think I'm beginning to realize more that I'm not far off from what you seek as well. Affection.

It really hurts when the people you love the most are incapable of reciprocating it despite any over-sharing or constant initiating.

I apologize for not being more thorough with my reply. I just couldn't help but immensely relate to the latter halve of your post. It most certainly helped a bit just now to know that I'm not alone with that. So, I hope my reply helps some for you as well.

I wish you the best and I'm sorry both you and the little one are going through this. Sad *hugs*

Thank you for replying! Yes, I certainly feel better after reading your reply, I feel like I am not alone in this. I also wish you the best in life!

(09-09-2019, 06:55 AM)Sir Joseph Wrote: Alexandra93, you sound like someone facing normal challenges in life, and I know that being single and lonely is a common one.   Your belief in an eternal afterlife is warranted, and that helps me too put any deficiencies or problems in this temporary world and life into a proper perspective.  I just hope you've chosen the right faith to achieve that dream because there's only one way that I'm aware of.

Here's a song just for you:

 https://youtu.be/8FXLo3aCkuQ

Thank you for the the song! Smile I will listen to it later on today today.

(09-12-2019, 02:31 AM)ShellShock Wrote:
(09-05-2019, 01:41 PM)alexandra93 Wrote: But I miss someone else, someone I never met and I feel lonely because of that.
Quote:No matter what I do I feel like something very important is missing from my life.
I know the feel. Do you have "him" in your dreams?
I mean, in night dreams, not daydreams.

Actually I don't have him in my night dreams nor in my daydreams.
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#8
Hi Alex!

I hope you find your kind of guy next door 😊
I'll be all I want to be!
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#9
(09-09-2019, 06:55 AM)Sir Joseph Wrote: Alexandra93, you sound like someone facing normal challenges in life, and I know that being single and lonely is a common one.   Your belief in an eternal afterlife is warranted, and that helps me too put any deficiencies or problems in this temporary world and life into a proper perspective.  I just hope you've chosen the right faith to achieve that dream because there's only one way that I'm aware of.

Here's a song just for you:

 https://youtu.be/8FXLo3aCkuQ

Thank you for the song! I will listen to it now. Smile And afterwards I will also send you a song, just for you. 
And about my faith, my only faith is in God. And I need no other.

(11 hours ago)Diagnosed Wrote: Hi Alex!

I hope you find your kind of guy next door 😊

Hello! Thanks! Smile
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#10
I stopedreading at this," I seek to offer and receive the purest kind of affection... The purest."

My last thread probably shows the type of undetached or unselfish ppl I never read.
I'll be all I want to be!
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