Don't think I am ever going to get a girlfriend

I just don't ever see this happening haven't had one ever and don't think will ever be able to. It is so **** frustrating to because people act like it is such a simple thing maybe to them it is but it isn't to me. Some people know how to do things like that others just don't. I have tried to get some people I know to help me with it but they just are generaly ******** that try to say how its just so simple and I say it isn't to me and then it usally turns into me getting into a agurment. Anymore when people just tell me I just have to do it or its easy I tell them well why can't you prepare a TPN solution or repeat then entire periodic table thats easy atleast to me it is.

Well sorry guess a rant there just really ******* pissed off anymore.

Hi Josh,
I am in the same situation as you, but I think that asking someone to help us is completely pointless unless they know your personality. I don't ask people "How can I get a gf?" because they don't know how I can get one. They only know how they can get one and don't know how you could. I think that if we really will meet a person we wish to be our gf we will succeed - at least we will try.

Hmm. Well, I'm trying to avoid posting so much that I scare off others!

But, I cannot resist. I am quite the love coach.

Please, give me a try! I've fixed up my sister once and my best friend once--and that ended up in a marriage!

What type of woman are you looking for? Let me guess...a Barbie doll with a Ph.D.? (j/k)

I think part of it is being sure you make yourself as attractive as you can be, not just physically, but emotionally and even spiritually. Negative energy tends to frighten people away. And DO NOT look at porno if that causes you to think that every womans' body will be free of stretch marks, cellulite, flab, scars, etc. Ever heard of 'airbrushing'?

Very intresting point keeper I guess maybe I should be too upset with people that have tried to help me out and just seem to give me really dumb advice.

Hey lonelygirl don't think its scaring anyone off with you posting a lot it good someone here is really social we need that. About me finding a girl probaly does come down to trying to make my self attractive but I am pretty insecure when it comes to that so I tend to almost brag or use to much that I have money and I am pretty smart.

Hi Josh-
I've never had a boyfriend, and I can relate to how frustrated you must be feeling. I never really thought about it that much when I was younger, but now that I've reached the age when most of the people I know are getting married and starting families, it does make it difficult to watch them move on with their lives while I'm left sitting around wondering what it would be like to be kissed, not to mention be in a relationship.

What I have done lately, and which has seemed to help me somewhat, is too try to make the rest of my life as full and rewarding as possible. Maybe I won't have a boyfriend for another 10 or 20 years, or maybe I never will. It's always going to bug me a little bit; there's no way to completely stop wanting a relationship like that. But, I've found that if I can get everything else (or close to it) in my life to go well and if I fill up my time with people and things that I actually care about, it makes dealing with the lack of a partner easier. In some respects, it's a waiting game, except you don't know if you'll ever get to stop waiting.

Well, I suppose that won't help you find a girlfriend, but maybe it'll help you get along until you meet someone special.

Hi LG,
I will give you a try!
I'm not looking for any Barbie, either with or without a PhD. Actually, I've learnt that choosing a good looking woman as gf isn't so wise. LOL
I agree with you, it's me who should make myself as attractive as I can be. But I know where the problem is: I'm very unsure because of my physical and emotional conditions.
I don't really care about physical perfection. I don't like those women who think they must be perfect - they seem to me very superficial.

lonelygirl said:

Hmm. Well, I'm trying to avoid posting so much that I scare off others!

But, I cannot resist. I am quite the love coach.

Please, give me a try! I've fixed up my sister once and my best friend once--and that ended up in a marriage!

What type of woman are you looking for? Let me guess...a Barbie doll with a Ph.D.? (j/k)

I think part of it is being sure you make yourself as attractive as you can be, not just physically, but emotionally and even spiritually. Negative energy tends to frighten people away. And DO NOT look at porno if that causes you to think that every womans' body will be free of stretch marks, cellulite, flab, scars, etc. Ever heard of 'airbrushing'?

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Well, Keeper and Josh...

I always WANTED to be a Barbie with a Ph.D. Well, I know realize, at age 31, that I will probably never be a Barbie. (Without major plastic surgery, anyway!)

The Ph.D. is still a possibility. Hopefully, within 5 years.

The PhD thing is a bit funny to me actually. A lot of the single women in my PhD program worry that it will be even harder to find someone after the finish grad school. Statistically speaking, most men marry women with an equal or lower levels of education, so some women worry that once they get their PhD they'll be unattractive to a lot of men who don't have higher degrees. Of course, it doesn't stop any of us from actually pursuing our doctorate, and personally I think that if a man is bothered by a woman having more education than he does, he probably isn't worth it to begin with.

Anyway, I just thought that was an interesting counterpoint to lonelygirl's suggestion that men might want a woman with a PhD.

Elaea,

I'm already married, lol. I met my husband when I had a Master's degree and he was still working on his Bachelor's degree. I'm trying to get him to go for his Master's but it's like pulling teeth.

Real men aren't worried if the woman is more educated than they are. And, if they are, would you really want them? Statistics, SCHMATISTICS
lol Who cares, go for your dream!

Josh, I can definitely relate to you. Please read my thread in the new members forum: "I'm extremely lonely and I need help." Please know that you're not alone. We look around and see all those jerks having romantic relationships while we are treated as if we don't exist when in fact we do have a lot to offer. I know, it can be heart wrenching. Please hold your head up and stay strong. You have lots of support here.

Me personally, it doesn't bother me if a woman is more educated than I am since I am a strong believer in merit and I am quite self assured. Actually I find it quite attractive when a woman is very educated, even more than myself. A lot of men seem threatened by these things. Those men are probably insecure, lack confidence , and have very low self esteem and probably cannot handle a woman of that calibre. Ironically, it seems to be those same type of "men" who are successful with women who are less educated or have the same level of education as themselves because of their so-called "confidence." This is all so contradictory and seems to be a mystery to me.

Cooljohn,

Confidence is very sexy. There is a HUGE difference between swagger, arrogance, and just plain confidence. Women are really, really attracted to even less attractive and less desirable men who put off an air of quiet confidence.

I can sort of relate...I really can't see myself in a relationship because I wouldn't know what to do once it happens...what's to say if I have nothing to say...

It's not like I want to play "pick and choose", and see if it works out.
Fact is, if I cannot make a friend, what chance do I have in a girlfriend? Like prom, my bro suggests asking ouy whatever girl I find, but it's just not me...I rather have a friend before a girlfriend if you know what I mean...I know getting to know a person can be tough and takes time, but what if there's a deadline?

As a quiet observer, I've seen the how fun, easy, and simple ways other relationships have gone. Some people have it easy and things happen naturally. Maybe, waiting isn't good enough...

LG,
I have nothing against a Barbie with a PhD: I just try to go beyond looks, since once I've made a big mistake because of looks (we men are really dumb and weak sometimes). Moreover, I don't know how is it in the Usa, but here where I live BAs, MAs, PhDs etc, aren't a guarantee of intelligence or deep knowledge. I'm into university and I can assure you that we have graduate people who don't know almost anything about what they have studied. I don't wonder anymore how could they get a degree because now I know the drill...

lonelygirl said:

Well, Keeper and Josh...

I always WANTED to be a Barbie with a Ph.D. Well, I know realize, at age 31, that I will probably never be a Barbie. (Without major plastic surgery, anyway!)

The Ph.D. is still a possibility. Hopefully, within 5 years.

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This is what usually happens over here: many people I know got together while they where teenagers. The man ended high school and found a job, the woman went to university. After the woman got a degree they split and the woman ended up with another man who got a higher level of education (therefore a higher wage) of the previous.
I'm not talking about one or two cases, but the 90% of the cases.

Elaeagnus said:

Statistically speaking, most men marry women with an equal or lower levels of education, so some women worry that once they get their PhD they'll be unattractive to a lot of men who don't have higher degrees.

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Women are definitely not simple. *g*

You might want to try to lay back a bit and not think of it so much. It will happen when it happens. Until then concentrate on your own life and achievements. Often times as males we can spend so much time thinking about obtaining a woman that we neglect our own lives. Then honestly what does that give us to offer when we finally find someone who actually interests us?

Josh said:

I just don't ever see this happening haven't had one ever and don't think will ever be able to. It is so **** frustrating to because people act like it is such a simple thing maybe to them it is but it isn't to me. Some people know how to do things like that others just don't. I have tried to get some people I know to help me with it but they just are generaly ******** that try to say how its just so simple and I say it isn't to me and then it usally turns into me getting into a agurment. Anymore when people just tell me I just have to do it or its easy I tell them well why can't you prepare a TPN solution or repeat then entire periodic table thats easy atleast to me it is.

Well sorry guess a rant there just really ******* pissed off anymore.

Click to expand...

Keeper,

Wow, very interesting. Here in the states, a graduate degree does NOT guarantee intelligence by any means (Trust me, there was one woman in my Master's program who was clearly not up to snuff) but it's a sign that the person takes learning and education seriously.

Unfortunately, we've got a problem here in the States with a mass dumbing-down of the population. Now, everyone and I mean EVERYONE is encouraged to go to college, and passed regardless of intelligence for politically correct reasons.

The Bachelor's degree used to be an accomplishment in its own right, but now is more of a second high school degree. These days, intellectuals are required to earn Master's degrees, and then many go on for the doctoral degree.

I have been out of uni for 5 years now. Since then, I've had a child and my life has changed drastically. So, it will take a Herculean effort to get back and complete a Ph.D., but that is my intention.

lonelygirl said:

Cooljohn,

Confidence is very sexy. There is a HUGE difference between swagger, arrogance, and just plain confidence. Women are really, really attracted to even less attractive and less desirable men who put off an air of quiet confidence.

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LG, give us some examples of 'quiet' confidence. I like this idea because I'm not a huge talker and believe it's worked for me in the past.

LG, here as well everyone is incouraged to go to university and (alas)passed regardless of knowledge and intelligence too. It's not too hard to explain what lies behind this shame, just too long
I wish you will complete a Ph.D. someday!

lonelygirl said:

Keeper,

Wow, very interesting. Here in the states, a graduate degree does NOT guarantee intelligence by any means (Trust me, there was one woman in my Master's program who was clearly not up to snuff) but it's a sign that the person takes learning and education seriously.

Unfortunately, we've got a problem here in the States with a mass dumbing-down of the population. Now, everyone and I mean EVERYONE is encouraged to go to college, and passed regardless of intelligence for politically correct reasons.

The Bachelor's degree used to be an accomplishment in its own right, but now is more of a second high school degree. These days, intellectuals are required to earn Master's degrees, and then many go on for the doctoral degree.

I have been out of uni for 5 years now. Since then, I've had a child and my life has changed drastically. So, it will take a Herculean effort to get back and complete a Ph.D., but that is my intention.

Click to expand...

Hey Snow,

Part of being confident is knowing that you, despite appearance, can be a beautiful and wonderful person on the INSIDE. Sometimes ugly men can be incredibly sexy!

I, personally, try to avoid being shallow and 'lookist'. In other words, I have been attracted to men of all sorts in the past, even if they are not conventionally attractive.

I tend to have crushes on nerds. Unfortunately, they often didn't ask me out!

Quiet confidence in a man can be expressed through:

Walking with good posture. (Remind yourself to stand up to your fullest height, even if you are very tall--hunched over tall people just look as though they have scoliosis.) Stand erect with your shoulders back, stomach tucked in, and chin up. Look people in the eye when you are speaking to them--try not to be intimidated. In fact, if you are too shy you can make a trick at looking at their eyebrows or the bridge of their nose or just above their foreheads.

Try not to feel nervous with your hands--keep them in your pockets rather than fiddle around.

Smile readily and easily. Not necessarily a big huge smile, but try to be positive and upbeat around other people--including clerks in stores, librarians, etc. You can make friendly and light conversation with these people as a social practice.

Hygiene is very important. It's absolutely necessary to bathe daily, especially during the summer. Wear scented deodorant. Brush your teeth, minimum twice but preferably three times a day. Use mouthwash such as mint Listerine (that Scope stuff doesn't do anything for more than a few seconds).

I recommend a light and fresh smelling cologne--women LOVE a light cologne. It's very sexy. But not men who smell as though they've showered in it. I highly recommend Aqua di Gio, Issey Miyake for men, Cool Water, and even Polo Sport. A cheaper choice is the Aspen and Stetson colognes which can be bought at any drug store/chemist.

Last but not least, TAKE CHANCES. This life is not a dress rehearsal. We have one go (that we know of for certain). Try to keep asking people out until you hit success. Women love friendly, polite, confident men of all sorts of appearances. Don't be sexual in your chatting up. Never comment on a woman's body parts other than her eyes or hair, (not the first few times you meet her anyway!)

I could write a book..heck, maybe someday I will!

Hugs,

LG

LG write it, please! I will read it

lonelygirl said:

I could write a book..heck, maybe someday I will!

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