...

[Zak]

All this pain.. Did I deserve all of this? I have no idea what went wrong. I am still trying to figure out and hoping for a way for things to work out. But I know it wont, it just will not. I am just... going to be another step in that long ladder for someone else to climb up. I just don't get it. Maybe I am losing myself. Maybe I shouldn't even have registered here. Selfish people who can't make sacrifices for others, even at-least for the person they care most, are just a pathetic excuse of a living thing. It just makes me wonder, what kind of a world am I living in? Is this reality? Or am I going to just wake up from this nightmare at some point. Things are just going against me and one after another, all my hopes are falling. What does this mean? Something big awaits? All doors are closed. All of them. I don't see any open doors now. Does this mean the end of the line? Or is it a sign that something bigger and better is on it way? I don't know any more. I am losing my mind. I am always trying to reach somewhere, trying to do something in my life, try to make it at-least a bit meaningful but every time, I just fail.... I still don't know what success means. Every time I just keep on failing as if its never going to end. Its totally like a process now. No matter what I do, it will fail. Its like written somewhere along the path of my life that this is a failure. I am unable to even take a different road. I just don't know what's next. Its so painful. Sometimes I wonder, if this life is just a joke for someone else to enjoy, watching me being a failure...

 

[Sean]

All this pain.. Did I deserve all of this? I have no idea what went wrong. I am still trying to figure out and hoping for a way for things to work out. But I know it wont, it just will not. I am just... going to be another step in that long ladder for someone else to climb up. I just don't get it. Maybe I am losing myself. Maybe I shouldn't even have registered here. Selfish people who can't make sacrifices for others, even at-least for the person they care most, are just a pathetic excuse of a living thing. It just makes me wonder, what kind of a world am I living in? Is this reality? Or am I going to just wake up from this nightmare at some point. Things are just going against me and one after another, all my hopes are falling. What does this mean? Something big awaits? All doors are closed. All of them. I don't see any open doors now. Does this mean the end of the line? Or is it a sign that something bigger and better is on it way? I don't know any more. I am losing my mind. I am always trying to reach somewhere, trying to do something in my life, try to make it at-least a bit meaningful but every time, I just fail.... I still don't know what success means. Every time I just keep on failing as if its never going to end. Its totally like a process now. No matter what I do, it will fail. Its like written somewhere along the path of my life that this is a failure. I am unable to even take a different road. I just don't know what's next. Its so painful. Sometimes I wonder, if this life is just a joke for someone else to enjoy, watching me being a failure...

Things will get better . . just gotta stay positive.

Sorry about everything that's happened.

 

[eris]

no no you did not deserve this

And it is not the end, just changes ahead

((((((((hugs)))))))))))

 

[Samuel Lonewolf]

You have my sympathy. I feel like that on some days too especially more recently.

 

[Brother Karl]

((hug))

You have reached here.

Anything specific you want to talk about?

 

[Zak]

I really wish if I could falcon punch somebody or like a punch to squish the skull...

 

[Bluey]

I really wish if I could falcon punch somebody or like a punch to squish the skull...

You can slap me if it makes you feel better matey.
Am guessing it well not through

Sometimes I feel as if someone up there is getting a laugh out of seeing me in pain as well. Or that I must of been a real ****** in a past life or something.

You have character mate. And its that, that well get you frow anything that life throws at you. Even if you feel as if you can not take another step forward. You well cos your stronger then you think. You have to be.

When I was really down one day a mate told me you never know whats around the corner. I sat there and thought ye easy for him to say with the GF and the job and good health. At that time the most important thing to me was money as I had not relay enough even to feed myself and did not ever see that changing. I had to break the law to feed myself back then. I never hurt anyone though but did have to bend the rules. I suppose when you have nothing to loss its not such a big risk.
But something did come along. Not what I would had wonted but it did make a difference and at lest now I dont have to bend the rules in order to feed myself.

Still the thing I crave is love just the same as any other emotional being.

Stay strong mate.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Sanal, as another poster has said, you did not deserve this, do not deserve it, and will NEVER deserve what has happened to you. I can easily see how things not working out, consecutively, in a row would sap you of your resolve and your self-esteem. It happened to me in school, when I could not live up to my own expectations grade-wise. It killed my self-esteem.

I would think that you'd have to find something to raise it up again. Do something that makes you proud of yourself. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sanal)))))))))))))))))))

 

[Minus]

Your writing reminds me of times in the past and i am sure, times that i will see again. I am sorry that things have been so difficult for you. I wish there was something that i could say that could help you feel a little better or more hopeful, but i really stink at using words.
I do wish you the best.

 

[Zak]

Thanks for the support everyone. I am trying to hang in. I have no idea, for how long although.

 

[Bluey]

There should be a like button like on FB, then I could like your post

I wish there was something moor useful I could say to you mate. But there is not.
Sometimes life just deals a honeysuckle hand and you have to just plod on.

 

[Drama]

All doors are closed.

When a door is closed, ten are open. Maybe you are too sad now to see it, but soon ( I hope) you're go through one of them

 

[blue_azure]

*HUGS* Sanal.

Don't worry, there are other opportunities in the future.

 

[Zak]

I dont see any open doors, its a big pool of honeysuckle and i don't see a way out.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I dont see any open doors, its a big pool of honeysuckle and i don't see a way out.

Oh... (((((Sanal))))))

It will get better eventually, hon... gradually. But there are better days ahead.

 

[Badjedidude]

ZAAAAAK

Here's a totally non-gay hug for ya!

HONEST! It's.... not.... gay...?

teehee

 

[Drama]

steve o_o

 

[Zak]

lol. I would totally take that hug. But please wear a shirt before hugging.

 

[Calm]

As long as penises don't touch, it is not gay.

 

[Zak]

Lol its gonna be very gayish no matter what.