2 subjects in 1 :)

[LonelyFebruary]

A BIG hello everyone


First of all im really really happy to know there was a place like this because like most of you (if not all of you) I thought I was the ONLY one


Its amazing how many of you described themselves and their lives, it felt like you guys were describing me, especially the college students.


I give the person who made this website a BIG hug and to all the members here a very very big hello, and if you don’t mind I will be talking to you as friends, which means I will be completely honest in every single word I type here.


I know I sound like a goody goody buts that because of all the things I’ve been through and all the lonely years I have spent suffering.



ANYWAYS let me introduce myself
Im LonelyFebruary, I got that name because I was born in February. I am 21 years old, I study business in uni, I finished my diploma and now im doing first year of bachelor.

How did I find this website?
Well I came from a party on Saturday feeling very very very lonely and very depressed, because I sat in the party like an idiot all alone, it was weird and I’ll never go to a party alone, in this case it means never in my whole life.

So after the hell party I wanted to talk to someone but there was no one to talk to, when I talk family don’t understand and most of the time never listen, I don’t blame them I love them, they cant understand because they have never been in the same situation as mine, my mom and dad both were popular in school, and now people love to be their friends but they don’t want any. Another reason for not telling them is that I don’t want to sound like a loser to them, they already know im lonely and depressed but I always act happy and carefree.

What I did was go to google and typed “how to get rid of lonliness” and I found a thread where I blurted out everything I felt that night, and one of members recommended this website, I LOVE HIM lol.

Then I came to this lovely place and stayed here for more than 3 hours reading most of your stories and looked at your pictures, and honestly guys you all look HOT, and im being honest like I promised. I also noticed something really important, is that you guys are, or WE, are not losers whatsoever you all here have great personalities and very good writing skills (wish I had that).

I realised its not about the looks, or intelligence, or personalities, its about destiny and luck. I have seen a lot of people who are very very very shy and yet they have a group of friends, I have met booooooooring people and yet they have friends and love, I have met rude people, nice people, weird people, and they all have friends.


One thing I was shocked at when I came here is the ages, WOOOOW I thought only kids feel lonely, and well………..me.

Anyways I talk too much, all I wanted to say is that I loved you and I want to be a friend of yours.

Ok now before I start let me warn you I HAVE VERY BAD WRITING SKILLS so if there is a part where I don’t make sense at all just tell me, and sorry for the typing errors.



Im 21 years and im sad to say I still feel like a 10 year old as im a person with no experiences whatsoever, I am extremely lonely, and I have been like that since the day I was born, I have never ever had any friends and I never had a boyfriend, hell I never loved someone and no one has ever fallen in love with me.

It was all ok till the age of 15 because I was living on something called hope, everyday I wake up I say today is the day, oh and I also forgot to mention at the age of 13 I didn’t go to school for 2 years for stupid reasons, not even home schooling, so I was completely free and all alone, there was nothing to do but because I didn’t even know whats going on in the real world I thought it was a happy place out there and all I need is to go to school to I can be part of that “happy” world.


My dad suddenly decided that we should go away, to start all over again in a new country. Here I was thinking “woohoo my chance has finally came” boy was I wrong.

Lets say I lived in this country for 6 years I still feel homesick, from the day I set my foot in this country I have been the most depressed person alive. It’s a great country don’t get me wrong, I’ll tell you later why I don’t like it.

I was so depressed so I started eating a lot all the time to keep me away from thinking, I used to take care of my looks but now i only wear baggy black trousers and a black jacket. I never felt like doing anything all I thought was “when am I going to die”


My mom started to fight with me and sometimes never talk to me for days because of what I was becoming, I was dying everyday.


Im skipping a lot of details because im concentrating on the lonely part.


I used to go to school it was horrible I was a loner, I had no one I talk to no one, sitting there for hours, and do you know what the worst time was? Lunch time,I hated it there was no where to go everyone had friends except for me and I didn’t want anyone to call me a loner or a loser so I used to sit in the toilet till the bell rings saaaaaaaaaaaad memories, and ofcourse I didn’t go to proms, and school parties forget it, I only went once and it was a very sad so I decided to never go again.


I remember seeing them in the party and I wished I had someone to dance with and to cheer whenever I like a song or something, I didn’t care who it was wether a friend or a lover I NEEDED someone.


I spent all school like that……… 3 loooong years. At the time I was there, I used to hear people say college is the best part, if you are lonely you wont be lonely there, and because I was from a different country I heard that people from my country are there so I was so excited and I had hope again.


College is the worst part of my life, I have never been so lonely in my life, especially the year 2008, I was invisible I was nothing I was nobody, I never spoken to anyone outside the class room, for 3 years. I hated everyone and envied group friends, I hated myself my life my family everything.

Hey what do friends talk about??? I only saw them in the movies

It was hell but in the year 2008 it started to get even worse cuz mom got really sick, dad had an accident so he had to go on a surgery, I failed all my exams, I had no money, basically it was really really hard and all I could see was darkness.

Finally 2 weeks ago I broke down and cried for 4 hours straight

I was thinking why me?
Why cant I make friends?
Why cant I find love?
Why don’t I have any hobbies?
Why don’t I have any goals?
Why do I have to live in a foreign country?
Why am I failing?

I tried everything, being nice, being mean, being smart (read a lot of books), being funny, being serious, being myself, being someone else I tried everything.

I am always and I do mean ALWAYS misunderstood.

One of the members here wrote I hate facebook, I HATE THAT PLACE TOO, I saw my friends as well all different having lots of friends and Im sure they don’t even remember me, but I was really crushed when I saw my cousin, I haven’t seen him in more than 10 years, he’s all grown up now, his dad all rich, he’s handsome, living in his country, having hobbies and interests, holidays around the world……. I don’t wish him any bad but I do love to be in his place.

I still feel sad and very lonely, but when I came to this place I was a bit relieved

Lol I was thinking what if we all lived in the same place? We would meet and form a nice group of friends because we all been through the same issues.



Today I was thinking what did I do with my 21 years??? Absolutely nothing
What did I achieve? What did I discover? Nothing


I have a plan now I hope it works, even though my hope is starting to die.


Hey have you guys seen wall-e? I cried when I saw that movie loved it, im happy for him lol<<<< random

Thanks to all the lovely members who read this and who read half of it
Thanks for your time.​

 

[Sanal]

Hello lonelyfebruary Welcome to the forum

 

[Minus]

Welcome LonelyFebruary

 

[Chris 2]

LonelyFebruary

Welcome to the forums!...Your post intrigues me unlike any other past member's introduction. It like your living in my shoe day to day, a bit I'm a year younger but I really understand where your coming from. It so great your being so honest, never knew someone had so much in common with me before. Oh and I also have very bad writing, it no shame really, people won't judge you on here for your writing.

Do you want anything out off this? Like do you need any advice, suggestion, or just someone to listen to? If you need anything, feel free to pm me, and I will reply back ASAP!



Chris

 

[LonelyFebruary]

oh thank u guys for the quick reply

you guys are great


and chris, same thing here with me, its really nice to know you


big hugs to all of you​

 

[Caesium]

Hey LonelyFebruary. I can really relate to your introduction, and we seem to be quite similar, and have had some similar experiences. The saddest thing is that if we both went to the same school, we probably wouldn't be aware of each other's existence. I hope you find happiness some day.

And you don't have bad writing skills

 

[Bluey]

What I did was go to google and typed “how to get rid of lonliness” and I found a thread where I blurted out everything I felt that night, and one of members recommended this website, I LOVE HIM lol.

That be me The member was called bord right.

That thread you got to was the same one I got to be for I come here. It is just one thread amongst a hole message Bord for codecs. There can be some negativity there concerning that one thread.

Its not very often I would post there directing someone to this Bord here. But in your case I did. I sew your reply to me to say thank you BTW Am glad you made your self a member here

Ok now before I start let me warn you I HAVE VERY BAD WRITING SKILLS so if there is a part where I don’t make sense at all just tell me, and sorry for the typing errors.

Absolutely no apologies are needed here. I have the worst grammar in the world. Just as long as ppl understand then it don't matter. I understand your post perfectly and if you had not said anything about the grammar I would not had even thought of it.

Im 21 years and im sad to say I still feel like a 10 year old as im a person with no experiences whatsoever, I am extremely lonely, and I have been like that since the day I was born, I have never ever had any friends and I never had a boyfriend, hell I never loved someone and no one has ever fallen in love with me.

I am 33, I feel like am about 20. So I kinder get what you mean there.

Finally 2 weeks ago I broke down and cried for 4 hours straight

I have done this be for in the passed. Sometimes things just seem like they come to a head. Like you seat there and say enough is enough.

It can leave you feeling tired after you cry for so long. I have found that I kinder feel cleansed. Can make you feel better

((((((HUGS))))))​

I was thinking why me?
Why cant I make friends?
Why cant I find love?
Why don’t I have any hobbies?
Why don’t I have any goals?
Why do I have to live in a foreign country?
Why am I failing?

I have felt all of this apart from the one I balded. I have never lived in any other country from the one I live in.

I think most here would had felt those things as well Well-I think most ppl in the world would have. Its just for some they would had felt them a lot moor strongly then others have.

I tried everything, being nice, being mean, being smart (read a lot of books), being funny, being serious, being myself, being someone else I tried everything.

I am not a college student but it seems we have a lot in common. I have too also tried being different to who I am. But I have found just to be myself is the beast thing I have done. At least then if someone dose like you as a friend or as anything else then at lest you don't feel a fake.

I am always and I do mean ALWAYS misunderstood.

Funny thing with me is when I was younger I never did feel misunderstood. I am in my 30s now and I regally feel like I am misunderstood. Not all the time but ye a lot moor then I used to be.

One of the members here wrote I hate facebook, I HATE THAT PLACE TOO

Me too all though I do use it. Its a tool and nothing moor to me. I have found it useful in some ways and have even bumped into an EX that I used to see at 10. My first GF lol Well she has made it clear that she only wants to be friends but we are still talking about meeting up when she comes back over to the UK. So ye face-book did at lest do that. But on the hole I hate the site. I have 45 friends on there. I have had a friend just add me as he just got face-book and with in a week he has like 150 friends. Its like an advertisment that I don't have any mates. But well you are what you are so I Guss I got nothing to feel ashamed off.

I have a plan now I hope it works, even though my hope is starting to die.

It's always good to have a plan, Ever if it don't go to plan at least you had one That's what I always think anyway.

Hey have you guys seen wall-e? I cried when I saw that movie loved it, im happy for him lol<<<< random

Love random I have seen that film ye,,,,Wall-eeeeeeeeee lol Got to love wall-E. Did not make me cry but I Guss am not man enough to get away with crying why watching a film lol

Thanks to all the lovely members who read this and who read half of it
Thanks for your time.

I have to admit I am not normally into readying and replying to long posts. But I did read all of it and enjoyed reading it.

And lastly let me welcome you here

 

[samba101]

Hi LonelyFebruary,

Wow your a great writer wish I could write like you do it takes me concentration to make a few paragraphs and half the time I don't know how to write about myself anyway.

 

[LonelyFebruary]

Caesium

thank you so much for your reply

probably if we went to the same school we would be friends by now

im really happy now because FINALLY i found ppl to talk to


bluey
<<<<<<<<<< embarrassed face

lol it is you bord

nice to see you here

i went back to the same thread to tell you that i liked the website but then i saw no reply so i thought maybe he wont read it again

but anyways thank you so much for your reply
im glad to see that we have so much in common


and i do agree with you, being yourself is the best thing to do, do you know why? because i learned that people see you the way they want to see you

for example if someone sees you as a sad person they will always have that view no matter how many times you smile or laugh

so respecting yourself and loving yourself is the best thing to do
doing what feels right for you.

thank you for reading the whole thread i really do appreciate that.




i wish you all the best​

 

[LonelyFebruary]

samba

i wish my teacher could say the same thing lol

i can never express my feelings, im glad what i wrote actually made sense

what i wrote was inside me for years im glad i let it out


thank you so much for the reply ​

 

[lovehurtme]

LF, I relate. College sucks! I can't wait for it to end. PM me anytime if you want to talk. You will find tons of listening ears at the forum.

 

[Silvernight]

Welcome LonelyFebruary You have an interesting manner of presentation if I may say so, I like it.

 

[Bluey]

bluey
<<<<<<<<<< embarrassed face

lol it is you bord

nice to see you here

i went back to the same thread to tell you that i liked the website but then i saw no reply so i thought maybe he wont read it again

but anyways thank you so much for your reply
im glad to see that we have so much in common


and i do agree with you, being yourself is the best thing to do, do you know why? because i learned that people see you the way they want to see you

for example if someone sees you as a sad person they will always have that view no matter how many times you smile or laugh

so respecting yourself and loving yourself is the best thing to do
doing what feels right for you.

thank you for reading the whole thread i really do appreciate that.




i wish you all the best​

No need to be embarrassed. You should see my first post on that thread.


I did go back and read your reply. I was going to reply back to you then I sew you on here This place is like a 100X better for this kinder of discussion.

I agree so much with you when you say when a person has made up there mind about who you are there going to think that no matter what you do. You are soooo right about that. I too have had just that problem. I got kinder sad a few times with my cousin and I confided in him what I was feeling. I trusted him and still do actually. But he did after look at me as a different person once I had done this a few times. He told a friend of mine that I was not a happy person and that I was depressed all the time. My friend told me what he had said. He could not believe what my cousin had told him cos he had never seen that side to me. Simply I did not trust or like my friend enough to had told him to what for me is personal. I then strart out told my cousin that he had no right to be saying this things to my friend and that he was out of order. This did course tension but I am glad to say we are OK now. But by confiding in him has proven to me that ppl well have an opinion on you always based on what you tell them. I have tried to explain to my cousin that I only get down sometimes but it is difficult to change the way someone looks at you. Even if its wrong. So now mostly I keep that kinder talk for on here and not IRL

 

[Unacceptance]

Dressing in black baggy clothes is the only way to roll. fresia the lame folks who are missing out, keep being yourself.

 

[Steel]

Hey February, and welcome.