Hi All,
I posted on this forum a little while ago when i was lonely after i found out my ex was cheating on me and we broke up.
I had spent so much time with her that i forgot to be a good friend to all my mates. Either way that was like 6 months ago and since then i moved back to my home town, got in touch with all my friends and my ex ex girlfriend who has come somewhat a friend and i was doing really really well. Even at work i got into a new routine hanging out with these two guys every night and also always going gym daily.
However i took a 2 week holiday from work to spend it in my home town and i had nothing planned. Every day i wanted to do something and hang out with people and i didnt like it because i found myself becoming very anxious if i wasnt around people doing things. I used to be able to sit in doors like a hermit and do my own thing but its like my personality and desires have rapidly changed over the last 6months. I constantly want to go out clubbing, dancing, meeting new people, drinking, recreational drug use etc ).
I dont mind this so much because i am now a different person who WANTS to actually do all these social things so i find it very easy but what i dont like is that constant feeling i have inside me with drives me to do this.
This feeling i have, i cant describe. I can only describe it as anxiety. Sometimes i wake up in the mornining and it hits be and i just feel overwhelmed, like im sufficating and i need to go out and get fresh air, and just speak to someone. A bit of human contact i guess.
There is also a weird side affect to. I never used to feel much empathy for people so i couldnt understand them when they had problems, but over the last 6 months, i just feel like im more in touch with my feelings. Everything feels applified and because i feel these strong feelings and what it does to me and my way of thinking, i can now understand and empathesis with others.
My ex ex for example was really needy and needed allot of reassurance and affection. I never understood it back then, but it hit me like a wave during my 2 weeks off. And i knew exactly how she had felt when we was dating, and i really really felt it.
Anyhow my 2 weeks are over and im currently back at work. My plan is to get straight back into my old work routine with gym and resurant with mates after. I am very curious what sort of affect this has. I am curious to see if it goes away or remains. In a way i like it because i feel more real now, and in touch with people but on the other hand it makes me feel vulnarable and needy.
Im back on here though, because i want to make some more friends. I had a good time during my 2 weeks off and got to see freinds and have a good time, but i need more.
I thought i needed a new girlfriend at one point and felt myself becoming infactuated with a girl, but then i had to talk myself out of this and understand my feelings may be giving me false ideas about people and what i want. Id make a good boyfriend, im just phycollogically scared by my ex
In organising a house party this saturday and i think i got about 10-12 people confirmed so far and i just got a confirmation on some more people just now. I feel this wonderful feeling washing over me now, however i still have this slight anxiety feeling still.
Im still trying to identify what it causing it and if it goes away by tommorow. I have a gym session with a mate planned tonight and i am curious as to how i feel tommorow morning when i wake up.
My theory is that now that im back in my gym routine (the body) and got this party happening (the mind) that i will start feeling really good again but if i dont then it may be some further underlining problem.
I posted on this forum a little while ago when i was lonely after i found out my ex was cheating on me and we broke up.
I had spent so much time with her that i forgot to be a good friend to all my mates. Either way that was like 6 months ago and since then i moved back to my home town, got in touch with all my friends and my ex ex girlfriend who has come somewhat a friend and i was doing really really well. Even at work i got into a new routine hanging out with these two guys every night and also always going gym daily.
However i took a 2 week holiday from work to spend it in my home town and i had nothing planned. Every day i wanted to do something and hang out with people and i didnt like it because i found myself becoming very anxious if i wasnt around people doing things. I used to be able to sit in doors like a hermit and do my own thing but its like my personality and desires have rapidly changed over the last 6months. I constantly want to go out clubbing, dancing, meeting new people, drinking, recreational drug use etc ).
I dont mind this so much because i am now a different person who WANTS to actually do all these social things so i find it very easy but what i dont like is that constant feeling i have inside me with drives me to do this.
This feeling i have, i cant describe. I can only describe it as anxiety. Sometimes i wake up in the mornining and it hits be and i just feel overwhelmed, like im sufficating and i need to go out and get fresh air, and just speak to someone. A bit of human contact i guess.
There is also a weird side affect to. I never used to feel much empathy for people so i couldnt understand them when they had problems, but over the last 6 months, i just feel like im more in touch with my feelings. Everything feels applified and because i feel these strong feelings and what it does to me and my way of thinking, i can now understand and empathesis with others.
My ex ex for example was really needy and needed allot of reassurance and affection. I never understood it back then, but it hit me like a wave during my 2 weeks off. And i knew exactly how she had felt when we was dating, and i really really felt it.
Anyhow my 2 weeks are over and im currently back at work. My plan is to get straight back into my old work routine with gym and resurant with mates after. I am very curious what sort of affect this has. I am curious to see if it goes away or remains. In a way i like it because i feel more real now, and in touch with people but on the other hand it makes me feel vulnarable and needy.
Im back on here though, because i want to make some more friends. I had a good time during my 2 weeks off and got to see freinds and have a good time, but i need more.
I thought i needed a new girlfriend at one point and felt myself becoming infactuated with a girl, but then i had to talk myself out of this and understand my feelings may be giving me false ideas about people and what i want. Id make a good boyfriend, im just phycollogically scared by my ex
In organising a house party this saturday and i think i got about 10-12 people confirmed so far and i just got a confirmation on some more people just now. I feel this wonderful feeling washing over me now, however i still have this slight anxiety feeling still.
Im still trying to identify what it causing it and if it goes away by tommorow. I have a gym session with a mate planned tonight and i am curious as to how i feel tommorow morning when i wake up.
My theory is that now that im back in my gym routine (the body) and got this party happening (the mind) that i will start feeling really good again but if i dont then it may be some further underlining problem.
