This is rediculous, that I even feel lonely on this forum now. No one cares and it's obvious, even the people I've added on msn that I thought cared, simply dont. I swear people only respond to posts on this forum so others think they give a honeysuckle and admire them, it really seems that way, because they're completely different people in chat. Lately I've been down more than usual and not my self, not cracking jokes, or trying to help people as much as I used to and it seems I'm being shunned. I dont even get a "Hey" when I join chat, not to mention a meaningless "How are you" even though I knew they didn't give a honeysuckle how I was, I still miss hearing it. Is it possible I've screwed up too many times on this site and that's why? If so, I will truly never fit in anywhere, especially when I dont even know who I am. One person in the past days has tried to talk to me and ask me what's wrong after countless times of saying I hate life and making commens about suicide in a chat room full of people, yes I'm frustrated. Even the people I thought cared about me the most and were my true friends have chosen to not call when they said they would, not message me on msn to see how am I or to even say hello. I always ask people how a certain problem they've been having is going after discussing it previously with them, but never get the same courtesy. Even still, the 1 person from here who cares and the other who isn't from here who cares about me are miles away. I'm called disrespctful to women, yet numerous people are allowed to talk freely about how bad they want "pussy" and how they need to find a slut to fresia in chat with no one mentioning it. After all the stupid things I've said and done on this forum, no matter what I'm always honest with you guys, yet you still dont give me that respect, maybe to spare my feelings. I'm constantly ruining good things and taking them for granted, yet I dont know how to stop it, I'm just an ungrateful person. sincerly yours, Chris_3