7 Traits that TURN WOMEN OFF

[MTrip]

The sort of man who wants me just for sex and who doesn't see me as a person but just as a body to be used.

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I am not being anti men here, just realistic, as there are some men like this around.

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Most men, actually. I'm a man, so I should know. Evolutionary imperatives...they make it easy for a lot of us to be shallow horndogs instead of developing the more noble traits.

 

[DarkMark78]

Nothing should really turn anybody off, Its only seeing somebody on face value a lot of the time and people have had lives and these lives change you. bad experiences, PTSD, an unfortunate run of incidents = less confidence.

A man who isn't in control and gets pushed around a bit? maybe he's feeling a bit low inside, these things happen! It might just be a superficial thing that wont last .. what does this mean? Date Over!?

I didn't read that whole article but Its appeared to me in life that the nicest people are the less fussiest.

Things that turn me off : 50Yr old 50 stone woman with a bold head!

Apart from that I can't think of much else .. I'm an easy lover!

 

[SimonT]

I think the 7 points were spot on. I'd agree with them all. The article refers to attractive women, and they are a lot more choosy (cause they can be I suupose) than most women. Some of the points would apply to all women though.

1) Neediness - no woman wants a guy who seems desperate. Nuff said there I think.

2) Awkwardness - a woman wants a guy who just flows with conversation, is comfortable in their own skin etc etc.

3) Being a pushover - a woman doesn't want a guy with no balls. That doesn't mean aggressive either. Will just stand his ground without being a thug.

4) Ex girlfriends - Yeah exactly what the article said actually. If you're disrespectful of women in general, never mind your exes, that's gonna make you seem like a bitter and twisted person. Maybe a bit mentally unstable too, that you hold grudges and can't let things go.

5) Horninness - This is pretty self explanatory as well. Having a high sex drive is one thing, but being like a dog on heat isn't attractive.

6) Insecurity - Yeah, a woman wants a man who knows who he is and what he wants in life. Not a guy who's unsure and insecure. Insecurity is a turn off for sure.

7) Hygiene - Also a biggy. Take your flat for instance. If you have an untidy pig sty of a flat with unwashed dishes etc everywhere, if she walked in there, even before she'd met you, what would it say about you? It'd say you're lazy, unorganised, dirty, have no self respect, pride or character (unless your character is an alcoholic tramp lol!) and to expect her to sit in that environment, even friends really, is just rude, bad mannered and showing no respect for her/them. Shows you're bone idle really. A woman wants a man she can see something long term in, unless it's a one night stand, which is all it would be (if you're lucky) if you took her back to a place like that. I'd personally be embarassed to. In your personal appearance and hygene too. Have clean ironed clothes on, have your hair styled nice, have clean shoes and deodorant/aftershave on etc. Shows you have pride in yourself,
also that you are willing to put some effort into how you appear to other people and say it's a date especially, that you've put the effort in to looking good for her. Also making a good impression on her and to other people that see you together. Tried telling a mate this a couple of years ago, as his place was very bad, disgusting infact, and he disagreed, saying it wouldn't put a girl off coming back to a place like that. 9 out of 10 times it would with most women.

 

[DarkMark78]

All that si, Its just the way it SHOULDNT be.

Just because a reality appears to be there doesn't mean that that reality is correct now does it?
ALL your saying really is THERE ARE REASONS NOT TO LOVE!!

That's all your saying. Really there isn't a reason its just the world has become clogged up with bullshit for a very long time!

 

[SimonT]

Not really. It's just what women look for in a man. Someone who has pride in themselves. Someone they can see a future with.

 

[DarkMark78]

Attraction is flawed simon, you saying that everything in the human race hasn't got a flawed side? What Planet you on then?

A woman can be attracted to the worse kind of man due to the worse reasons ALL WHILE NOT SEEING HIS TRUTH .. this happens ALL the time, man seems nice, but man isn't nice, man fooks her life up, beats her up and stuff ...and thus attraction is FLAWED.

Ted Bundy used to be great at it!

It works both ways, or is life really so simple and shallow that everything's 'right'? 'Oh I see this its in the world it must be right!!' lol

 

[SimonT]

What's flawed in the human race got to do with what women are attracted to? Not seeing his truth? Lost me. Attraction isn't flawed. It is what it is.

 

[DarkMark78]

uhhh because women are a part (sometimes seemingly unfortunately lol) of the human race. Attraction is basically a motion of 'I see that it looks good and so I will go there' ... but that thing that looks good isn't always that good .. and that thing that is 'unattractive due to not looking good' maybe only dis attracts the unwise ones because we are not all just shallow faces obsessed with material things and good looks!!

Is a fish wise for being attracted to a fishing line that looks like food but is really a hook so it can be eaten? No Its his killer!

Deception Rules.

 

[Solivagant]

uhhh because women are a part (sometimes seemingly unfortunately lol) of the human race.

^ That comment was a turn-off.

 

[kamya]

Honestly all of those points are a turn off to a lot of people in general (unless you're a slob looking for another slob), man or woman. Gender really doesn't have much to do with it.

 

[DarkMark78]

oh you mean the 7 points? what it basically means then is if you're f*cked up due to something that f*cked you up then you have no hope with the opposite sex and thus a chance of love. now SURELY that's gonna f*ck you up even more! THE ONLY THING THAT THOSE POINTS MEAN IS THAT LOVE ISNT A HERO! ... What I am saying is REAL love IS!!

Real love can change you and real love doesn't go around saying 'oh you're a bit insecure - I'm off!' now does it! People grow and people change and sometimes people need a REAL good person beside them who is BIG enough to throw aside little things like that list and see the good within them that IS THERE! ,, now that would be a tonic!

 

[Batman55]

I am curious. Why does confidence in a woman put you off?

Nothing wrong with it in general, unless she is smug. In terms of partnering: It can be intimidating for many of us. Usually with a confident woman, there is an expectation that she would only want to be with an equally confident man, if not moreso. My inner cynic says: just look around you. What kind of man is usually seen with a young and dashing woman wearing the most recent fashion trends, etc? It's usually a guy I would not want as an acquaintance.

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6) Insecurity - Yeah, a woman wants a man who knows who he is and what he wants in life. Not a guy who's unsure and insecure. Insecurity is a turn off for sure.

What to do about this.. if "unsure" is one's default state?

It's interesting how this same standard is not applied to women, by men. Or at least, not by most of us. I don't think I'd give a fig, if a girl didn't know what she wanted in life.

 

[kamya]

I think that most men would not be too intimidated by a confident woman. Also I highly doubt "most" men are attracted to insecure women. Have you ever been with an insecure woman?

 

[jaguarundi]

I think that most men would not be too intimidated by a confident woman. Also I highly doubt "most" men are attracted to insecure women. Have you ever been with an insecure woman?

A very good point, dood!

At the risk of being sexist, I would argue that some insecure men believe that they would prefer an insecure woman, so as not to have their masculinity threatened?

Or a shy woman - but shy does not necessarily mean 'no opinions of her own' which I sometimes fancy is what some men think this means - I know a shy woman who has some very strong opinions, if only people knew what she was thinking !! lol

Also I fancy that an insecure woman is the kind of woman 'most men' will very quickly label as needy, high maintenance, too-much baggage, or drama-queen.

So we poor women cannot come out of any of this with credit, hmmm?

 

[Anahita]

I think that most men would not be too intimidated by a confident woman. Also I highly doubt "most" men are attracted to insecure women. Have you ever been with an insecure woman?

A very good point, dood!

At the risk of being sexist, I would argue that some insecure men believe that they would prefer an insecure woman, so as not to have their masculinity threatened?

Or a shy woman - but shy does not necessarily mean 'no opinions of her own' which I sometimes fancy is what some men think this means - I know a shy woman who has some very strong opinions, if only people knew what she was thinking !! lol

Also I fancy that an insecure woman is the kind of woman 'most men' will very quickly label as needy, high maintenance, too-much baggage, or drama-queen.

So we poor women cannot come out of any of this with credit, hmmm?

I think you forgot - 'clingy' there, as well....... and maybe, whiney? Oh yes, and a woman who does not know what she wants but wants a man who does, is a 'gold digger' - right?

 

[SimonT]

You're right Kamya. Gender doesn't really matter. I wouldn't be attracted to a woman who didn't have pride in her appearance, cause I have pride in mine. You look for basically what is alike to the traits you have yourself. So if you're a hard working successful person who went to college and gained a qualification to get a good job, you're more likely to go for somrone who did the same. Someone with the same values in life, else you won't match. Also, you're more than likely to meet that person (say you're a psychologist) who's in the same profession anyway at work so jobs a good'en excuse the pun. Yeah so the see that it looks good and so I will go there quote above isn't true. At first maybe. That's what going out with someone does, you learn what the persons about. Most of those 7 points are common sense really. Insecurity and awkwardness have been my 2 biggest flaws with women. The insecurity because of lack of success and mood swings due to anxiety and depression, and awkwardness has reared it's ugly head due to lack of confidence, so ease in myself (probably anxiety also) and inadvertently being unnatural or fluent prevailed.

 

[Batman55]

I think that most men would not be too intimidated by a confident woman. Also I highly doubt "most" men are attracted to insecure women. Have you ever been with an insecure woman?

It is not that most men would be attracted to insecure women, or seek them out (they probably wouldn't.) It's just insecurity is much lower on a man's list of undesirable traits in a woman, than it is for women seeking men. That is my general impression, anyway.

 

[StormChild]

There's a continuum between confident and insecure, though.

I'm not attracted to confident men, I find them off-putting. But there are a whole lot of men with confidence issues who aren't insecure and clingy but just doubt themselves and their abilities at times. That's a whole lot more attractive to me.

Likewise, I'm not attracted to men who have no issues. I have baggage, and being the only one in the relationship with triggers and sore spots wouldn't do me any good at all. The important part is finding a balance between relating to each other and dragging each other down.

Sometimes a girl doesn't want Mr Perfect. She'd much prefer Mr. Perfect For Me.

 

[painter's radio]

Perfect imperfections

 

[StormChild]

Perfect imperfections

I can imagine that on a dating website profile: "looking for somebody who's damaged in all the right ways"