7 Traits that TURN WOMEN OFF

[painter's radio]

Haha. As funny as it sounds when put like that, I think most of us actually are looking for that, to some extent. To be damaged at all in our pasts is to have lived. I suppose there is sometimes a big difference between "damaged" and "experience in hurt", but they are related, just the way we deal with things or how severe they were determines which one we fall into. Don't think many are actively looking for a complete novice though.

 

[SimonT]

I am curious. Why does confidence in a woman put you off?

Nothing wrong with it in general, unless she is smug. In terms of partnering: It can be intimidating for many of us. Usually with a confident woman, there is an expectation that she would only want to be with an equally confident man, if not moreso. My inner cynic says: just look around you. What kind of man is usually seen with a young and dashing woman wearing the most recent fashion trends, etc? It's usually a guy I would not want as an acquaintance.

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6) Insecurity - Yeah, a woman wants a man who knows who he is and what he wants in life. Not a guy who's unsure and insecure. Insecurity is a turn off for sure.

Yeah cause men generally go for the outward beauty and are skin deep. Women sometimes don't have a choice, they just feel naturally feel, and if naturally they feel turned off by a wuss, it's not good but sad fact of life. Tease her, did you find me insecure then, yes it's my best trait lol!

What to do about this.. if "unsure" is one's default state?

It's interesting how this same standard is not applied to women, by men. Or at least, not by most of us. I don't think I'd give a fig, if a girl didn't know what she wanted in life.

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I find I fluctuate. Sounds dirty lol! No seriously, was in a confident mood today and yesterday not too much. Hmmmm, why? After thinking about it, it's if you get a good reaction or response from a member of the opposite sex. Is for me anyway. If I get a good response from a woman, my confidence around women sky rockets. If I don't then it plummets sadly. Cause I'm single I find my good responses are few and far between. That's why (well for me it is anyway) women suddenly find you attractive when you have a girlfriend. Typical innit. Got to hope I can either take the initiative to move things on the next time a girl gives me a good response, or try and carry over to the next encounter.

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oh you mean the 7 points? what it basically means then is if you're f*cked up due to something that f*cked you up then you have no hope with the opposite sex and thus a chance of love. now SURELY that's gonna f*ck you up even more! THE ONLY THING THAT THOSE POINTS MEAN IS THAT LOVE ISNT A HERO! ... What I am saying is REAL love IS!!

Real love can change you and real love doesn't go around saying 'oh you're a bit insecure - I'm off!' now does it! People grow and people change and sometimes people need a REAL good person beside them who is BIG enough to throw aside little things like that list and see the good within them that IS THERE! ,, now that would be a tonic!

Yes it could hurt you more, but only if you let it, and yes REAL love should mean through thick and thin, the bad times as well as the good, and through rough patches, but sadly, not straight from the off. A partner has to fall in love with you first, then the memories of the good times will carry them through the bad.

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All that si, Its just the way it SHOULDNT be.

Just because a reality appears to be there doesn't mean that that reality is correct now does it?
ALL your saying really is THERE ARE REASONS NOT TO LOVE!!

That's all your saying. Really there isn't a reason its just the world has become clogged up with bullshit for a very long time!

No it's just a reflection of your character = lazy slob. How aattractive. Now tidy up, clean it up, have it smelling nice and make it look like you live in there and not just exist like a slob lol! Also, putting some effort into how you decorate it etc shows your character. I remember a girl coming round and seeing my Beatles and John Lennon pictures on the mantelpiece and commenting on how she liked them, thus immediately identifying something we had in common.

 

[Batman55]

I'm not attracted to confident men, I find them off-putting. But there are a whole lot of men with confidence issues who aren't insecure and clingy but just doubt themselves and their abilities at times. That's a whole lot more attractive to me.

Maybe you should give me a call

 

[SimonT]

I hate those guys that walk like the big I am and think they're gods fuckin' gift and look at me. Hate them. Make me just wanna givem a slap as I walk past.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think the 7 points were spot on. I'd agree with them all. The article refers to attractive women, and they are a lot more choosy (cause they can be I suupose) than most women. Some of the points would apply to all women though.

1) Neediness - no woman wants a guy who seems desperate. Nuff said there I think.

2) Awkwardness - a woman wants a guy who just flows with conversation, is comfortable in their own skin etc etc.

3) Being a pushover - a woman doesn't want a guy with no balls. That doesn't mean aggressive either. Will just stand his ground without being a thug.

4) Ex girlfriends - Yeah exactly what the article said actually. If you're disrespectful of women in general, never mind your exes, that's gonna make you seem like a bitter and twisted person. Maybe a bit mentally unstable too, that you hold grudges and can't let things go.

5) Horninness - This is pretty self explanatory as well. Having a high sex drive is one thing, but being like a dog on heat isn't attractive.

6) Insecurity - Yeah, a woman wants a man who knows who he is and what he wants in life. Not a guy who's unsure and insecure. Insecurity is a turn off for sure.

7) Hygiene - Also a biggy. Take your flat for instance. If you have an untidy pig sty of a flat with unwashed dishes etc everywhere, if she walked in there, even before she'd met you, what would it say about you? It'd say you're lazy, unorganised, dirty, have no self respect, pride or character (unless your character is an alcoholic tramp lol!) and to expect her to sit in that environment, even friends really, is just rude, bad mannered and showing no respect for her/them. Shows you're bone idle really. A woman wants a man she can see something long term in, unless it's a one night stand, which is all it would be (if you're lucky) if you took her back to a place like that. I'd personally be embarassed to. In your personal appearance and hygene too. Have clean ironed clothes on, have your hair styled nice, have clean shoes and deodorant/aftershave on etc. Shows you have pride in yourself,
also that you are willing to put some effort into how you appear to other people and say it's a date especially, that you've put the effort in to looking good for her. Also making a good impression on her and to other people that see you together. Tried telling a mate this a couple of years ago, as his place was very bad, disgusting infact, and he disagreed, saying it wouldn't put a girl off coming back to a place like that. 9 out of 10 times it would with most women.

Other than being desperate, I had all those things going for me, and still didn't get anywhere. I'd say that desperate is the number 1 turnoff.

And ex girlfriends...what if you have no ex's?

 

[GirlwithCuriousHair]

Desperation is a problem because you sometimes meet guys who seem to have that Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing going on - yknow, they're convinced that all their problems will be solved with the love of a good woman (with cute bangs) and a dose of uplifting indie rock (HEY DO YOU LIKE BELLE AND SEBASTIAN?).

I can have sympathy with people like that but still feel uncomfortable with that level of expectation. I can barely get myself through the day without getting chased out of town or falling down a well - I don't think I can deal with trying to "fix" another sentient adult.

 

[SimonT]

That's sort of the case with me. I want a woman cause I'm lonely, depressed and sexless lol! would definitely make me feel better about myself though and make me feel attractive again.

 

[MrPaul]

I just want hugs :3
*Internet Hugs For All!*

... and Ice-cream, if you have hugs AND ice-cream, I'm so sold.

 

[ardour]

I find I fluctuate. Sounds dirty lol! No seriously, was in a confident mood today and yesterday not too much. Hmmmm, why? After thinking about it, it's if you get a good reaction or response from a member of the opposite sex. Is for me anyway. If I get a good response from a woman, my confidence around women sky rockets. If I don't then it plummets sadly. Cause I'm single I find my good responses are few and far between. That's why (well for me it is anyway) women suddenly find you attractive when you have a girlfriend. Typical innit.

You've also been 'vouched for'.

What's flawed in the human race got to do with what women are attracted to? Not seeing his truth? Lost me. Attraction isn't flawed. It is what it is.

Shallow lists like this promote the idea of men as merely a collection of either desirable or undesirable character traits, rather than full human beings with failings, insecurities and so on.

(of course men do something similar to women when we judge them by their appearance.)