SwagMustDie
New member
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2013
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Hello I have posted here once and I never came back, but I decided to come back and vent a little bit. I feel suicidal almost everyday and I am 20 years old, male.
So where to start? I am an adult bet-wetter. I really can't control this, luckily today I haven't wet the bed but that's always temporary. My everyday routine goes like this: I wake up soaked in my own piss, change my clothes, go outside and smoke a cigarette while I contemplate whether I should keep living or not. I am ashamed of wetting the bed. I don't think I will ever get married, I can't even spend the night at someone's house. If I ever really liked someone (emotionally; in-love), I just forget about them. I will never be in a serious relationship because of this problem. I've really been dealing with depression for some time now and this is one of the main reasons.
My other problem is that I only have internet friends, I do not have friends in real life. My only true friends in real life moved away and have pretty much forgotten about me. Internet friendships are not that bad, but and the end of the day, I still feel lonely. I also don't feel wanted among many of my internet friends. I'm sure most of them probably consider me an acquaintance, but I treat them like I would treat friends in real life. What really bothers me is when the people I consider good friends on the internet treat me like an acquaintance and not a friend. I just feel so empty, isolated and lonely. It's probably my fault for not socializing in real life, but I just have a low self esteem and no confidence. I think I am socially awkward.
I suppose I only have internet friends because I can connect with those people better than I can with people in real life. It's so much easier to find someone with common interests and they don't have to know about my secret. Thank you all for reading and do you have any advice?
So where to start? I am an adult bet-wetter. I really can't control this, luckily today I haven't wet the bed but that's always temporary. My everyday routine goes like this: I wake up soaked in my own piss, change my clothes, go outside and smoke a cigarette while I contemplate whether I should keep living or not. I am ashamed of wetting the bed. I don't think I will ever get married, I can't even spend the night at someone's house. If I ever really liked someone (emotionally; in-love), I just forget about them. I will never be in a serious relationship because of this problem. I've really been dealing with depression for some time now and this is one of the main reasons.
My other problem is that I only have internet friends, I do not have friends in real life. My only true friends in real life moved away and have pretty much forgotten about me. Internet friendships are not that bad, but and the end of the day, I still feel lonely. I also don't feel wanted among many of my internet friends. I'm sure most of them probably consider me an acquaintance, but I treat them like I would treat friends in real life. What really bothers me is when the people I consider good friends on the internet treat me like an acquaintance and not a friend. I just feel so empty, isolated and lonely. It's probably my fault for not socializing in real life, but I just have a low self esteem and no confidence. I think I am socially awkward.
I suppose I only have internet friends because I can connect with those people better than I can with people in real life. It's so much easier to find someone with common interests and they don't have to know about my secret. Thank you all for reading and do you have any advice?