What I always feel before, life is emptiness but now I can feel Life. It doesn't empty anymore. It's just a mystery and complicated. I don't really know what have been waiting for me and what I am going to feel. I can feel life isn't so hard sometime now.
What have been happened to me that make me feel that way? All my life, I live life as I'm someone that I don't really know.
I was born in a family that want a son more than a daughter. I am a second daughter. What I want from my parent just to love me as the way I am but when it didn't happen so I just change myself to be someone that they want.
They don't like a daughter so I don't like myself as being a girl. A good child have to do what the parents tell us to do and I did. My mother accuse me of being sensitive so I just stop crying. My mother accuse me of being a bad kid so I just stop to be angry. Finally, I don't know how to express my fear. All my feelings I just kept them inside me, inside myself.
I got my answer now, it's not worth at all to change myself to be someone that I am not because they still don't love me that way anyway and I have lost my happiness along the way.
Since then I promise myself, I am going to be myself. I've tried hard to find who I am and finally I find myself in many pieces and start to feel again. What I need to do right now is try to put them together. I do hope I can find every pieces of me and I will be able to live again.
This is my story and I would love to here your story. How life has been treating you?
Ray
What have been happened to me that make me feel that way? All my life, I live life as I'm someone that I don't really know.
I was born in a family that want a son more than a daughter. I am a second daughter. What I want from my parent just to love me as the way I am but when it didn't happen so I just change myself to be someone that they want.
They don't like a daughter so I don't like myself as being a girl. A good child have to do what the parents tell us to do and I did. My mother accuse me of being sensitive so I just stop crying. My mother accuse me of being a bad kid so I just stop to be angry. Finally, I don't know how to express my fear. All my feelings I just kept them inside me, inside myself.
I got my answer now, it's not worth at all to change myself to be someone that I am not because they still don't love me that way anyway and I have lost my happiness along the way.
Since then I promise myself, I am going to be myself. I've tried hard to find who I am and finally I find myself in many pieces and start to feel again. What I need to do right now is try to put them together. I do hope I can find every pieces of me and I will be able to live again.
This is my story and I would love to here your story. How life has been treating you?
Ray
