a problem I've been dealing with...

[kaze-kage]

Hi everyone. Well, for a really long time now I've been alone... whenever I get close to someone I end up shutting them out of my life completely, thinking that's the right thing, for no one to get close to me.. so here I am stuck with no one at all.. I want to make new friends and not be alone anymore.. but I'm also scared about getting hurt.. I take things really seriously and notice little things too much.. I feel like I'm so different than everyone else so I have no connection to anyone else at all.. and when I try to be like other people, i take it too far again... I want to be myself and not be afraid to get close to people again.. but every time I be myself everyone thinks I'm really weird, and people always tell me that I think wrong.. so..

 

[evanescencefan91]

hey kaze kage welcome to the forum

ugh i'm sorry i'm familar with your troubes, why is it so hard to know how to act around others. You'd think it would be simple just act friendly, make sure you don't have food in your teeth and follow the conversation. for me it's been my insecurities and i end up by passive aggresively driving people away. I'm also afraid of getting close to people. ya either i get hurt, or i'm too clingy.

don't worry you're not so differnt, and there's nothing wrong with the way you think. (average people are just jealous of smart people like you)

i like your signiture it's so cute, and forgive me i'm going to try and guess the some of it's general meaning.

um, watashi no koto sukina no darou.

koto is thing---like my thing?--

it's probably my thing i like
or it's my thing i love

i'm sorry, i was just curious, i'm not trying to act like a smart ass, you probably know a lot more than i do (by the way i didn't just use an online translator)

japanese is pretty cool

anyways welcome to the forum

 

[kaze-kage]

Wow!! you read it exactly as it is. ^^ you were very close, meaning that koto = thing
watashi no koto suki na no darou means like, "watashi no koto" means I including everything about me
and so its like do you like(love) me (everything about me)?

Thank you for replying. ^^ I hope you are right, that I'm not so different than everyone else.

 

[evanescencefan91]

ahhhh, it is all making sense for me now thats cool.

so is japanese your first language or are you just really smart and hardworking?

i've been studying it for about 3 and a half years and the first two years, it was like hey this isn't too hard if you study,

lol but now in my fourth i'm just like this is hard, there are too many words. XP

don't worry you're not weird or differnt, sometimes being a normal human being is feeling a little like this

you'll be okay

 

[kaze-kage]

Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better really. Just the words I think I needed to hear. ^^

I was born in Korea when I was little, and when my grandma lived there it was when Japanese were taking over and so she has both a Korean and Japanese name, and also had to learn the language. So I grew up knowing Japanese and Korean. ^^

Aw so you are giving up on it? you seem to know a lot!!

 

[evanescencefan91]

lol thanks,

right now i'm not giving up on it, i've been studing through my highschool and i started in my freshman year, and now i'm in my senior year. I'm not sure if i want to continue studying it in college, i've been thinking about it though.

i really wish learing it would have been avaliable when i was younger. Languages are just so much easier to pick up when you're younger. I'd really like to be fluent in another language.

thats really cool knowing three languages, have you done a lot of traveling then? you seem like a really cool person

 

[kaze-kage]

Ah I see, here at my highschool they don't even offer Japanese as a language to learn. We just have German, Spanish, and French. So I'm learning German right now. ^^ Yea I agree, learning languages seems to be a lot easier the younger you are. It was really easy learning English for me, but still sometimes I forget words in Japanese and Korean because i don't use them as much anymore. And yes, I do travel as much as I can. I plan on living in Japan for my junior to my rest of highschool and college years. ^^

 

[evanescencefan91]

oh wow cool, i've always dreamed of being able to go to japan someday i think that would be really exciting

 

[VanillaCreme]

I tend to just not get close to people anymore. It's like everyone just walks away from me. So, why even bother... Although, I've learned how to just be myself. I didn't see the point in caring to try to act differently, when I realized that most others around me didn't care either. They were themselves, and so was I.

 

[Jeremi]

Hi Kaze-Kage

I can relate to most of what you write. I think that you should stick to being yourself. It's what we do best. There's nothing wrong with being weird, if that's really how other people see you. I find "weird" people much easier to talk to, since they're usually a lot more interesting and open (and I'm a little weird myself!) Be yourself and love yourself for who you are, and I'm sure that you'll start to feel more comfortable with yourself around other people. If other people can't accept it, that's their loss

And that's a lovely avatar by the way ^^

 

[Tachikaze]

i have to say everything you have written i understand completely ( not the japanese stuff as i have only just started to learn it, getting tired of subtitles on anime lol) its seems to be very easy to fall into the trap of closing yourself off only to find it hard to open yourself again

 

[kaze-kage]

I tend to just not get close to people anymore. It's like everyone just walks away from me. So, why even bother... Although, I've learned how to just be myself. I didn't see the point in caring to try to act differently, when I realized that most others around me didn't care either. They were themselves, and so was I.

Thanks, I also tend to not get close to anyone anymore, and afraid its becoming a bad habit since I don't intend to be alone the rest of my life.. I understand what you mean, that it feels like everyone walks away from you. I like to be myself, but also it seems like when I'm around people and am happy I become a whole different person, then when I leave I hate the way I was around them, I don't really understand it myself.. lol sometimes it seems like the only way I can control my real self is to be sad all the time.

 

[kaze-kage]

Hi Kaze-Kage

I can relate to most of what you write. I think that you should stick to being yourself. It's what we do best. There's nothing wrong with being weird, if that's really how other people see you. I find "weird" people much easier to talk to, since they're usually a lot more interesting and open (and I'm a little weird myself!) Be yourself and love yourself for who you are, and I'm sure that you'll start to feel more comfortable with yourself around other people. If other people can't accept it, that's their loss

And that's a lovely avatar by the way ^^

Thank you! ^^

That's exactly what I should do.. but its hard to do. XD I try to be myself most of the time, yet people still take the wrong idea about me. Also you're right, "weird" people tend to be a lot easier to talk to and open. Except, I wish I could be that way. It seems to me like everyone else has their own best friends, and I should've made one a long time ago.. as for now everyone has their own friends and I'm left out. You know what I mean?

 

[kaze-kage]

i have to say everything you have written i understand completely ( not the japanese stuff as i have only just started to learn it, getting tired of subtitles on anime lol) its seems to be very easy to fall into the trap of closing yourself off only to find it hard to open yourself again

Good luck on learning Japanese. I'm sure you already understand some since you watch anime with Japanese audio and english subtitles, right? ^^

You're exactly right, I had one really good friend and bet it all on that she would stay with me forever just to have her leave, and during that I didn't let anyone else in, so now stuck with no one.

 

[Tachikaze]

i have to say everything you have written i understand completely ( not the japanese stuff as i have only just started to learn it, getting tired of subtitles on anime lol) its seems to be very easy to fall into the trap of closing yourself off only to find it hard to open yourself again

Good luck on learning Japanese. I'm sure you already understand some since you watch anime with Japanese audio and english subtitles, right? ^^

You're exactly right, I had one really good friend and bet it all on that she would stay with me forever just to have her leave, and during that I didn't let anyone else in, so now stuck with no one.

If it helps i am around to chat on msn alot [email protected] is my msn just drop me a line if your feeling lonely

 

[kaze-kage]

i have to say everything you have written i understand completely ( not the japanese stuff as i have only just started to learn it, getting tired of subtitles on anime lol) its seems to be very easy to fall into the trap of closing yourself off only to find it hard to open yourself again

Good luck on learning Japanese. I'm sure you already understand some since you watch anime with Japanese audio and english subtitles, right? ^^

You're exactly right, I had one really good friend and bet it all on that she would stay with me forever just to have her leave, and during that I didn't let anyone else in, so now stuck with no one.

If it helps i am around to chat on msn alot [email protected] is my msn just drop me a line if your feeling lonely

Thanks! I hope you don't mind if I add you. My email address is [email protected]

 

[Jeremi]

Hi Kaze-Kage

I can relate to most of what you write. I think that you should stick to being yourself. It's what we do best. There's nothing wrong with being weird, if that's really how other people see you. I find "weird" people much easier to talk to, since they're usually a lot more interesting and open (and I'm a little weird myself!) Be yourself and love yourself for who you are, and I'm sure that you'll start to feel more comfortable with yourself around other people. If other people can't accept it, that's their loss

And that's a lovely avatar by the way ^^

Thank you! ^^

That's exactly what I should do.. but its hard to do. XD I try to be myself most of the time, yet people still take the wrong idea about me. Also you're right, "weird" people tend to be a lot easier to talk to and open. Except, I wish I could be that way. It seems to me like everyone else has their own best friends, and I should've made one a long time ago.. as for now everyone has their own friends and I'm left out. You know what I mean?

Hehe, yeah I know how you feel. It's easy for me to give optimistic advice now, but I remember what it was like back in high-school. Like you said, everyone seem to have a best friend and a group to hang out with. It was like this for me since day one. Most people were probably friends since earlier years. All my old classmates went to different schools. I was alone. I knew no one. I only got to know one guy in my class. We became the outcasts. It wasn't much of a friendship either, since he had tons of friends outside class, and didn't seem too interested in me. I had zero close friends back then and I have zero close friends now, but I felt 10 times as lonely back then

Looking back at all that, I regret that I completely isolated myself like I did. Driven by fear of not fitting in. I tried to fit in the first year by pretending to be like everyone else, and it didn't work. Perhaps if I had tried more of a natural approach, being myself, accepting myself, then perhaps I wouldn't have been so afraid of speaking up. Perhaps my life wouldn't have been so lonely today. But it's too late to change that now ^^

 

[evanescencefan91]

You're exactly right, I had one really good friend and bet it all on that she would stay with me forever just to have her leave, and during that I didn't let anyone else in, so now stuck with no one.

aw man the same thing happened to me about a year and a half ago, the worst part, is she never told me why. i told her to tell me if it was something i did. all she ever said was "it's complicated" and then lied to my face multiple times about still ebing friends even though we obviously weren't.

i don't think i'll ever forgive her, she was the only real friend i had that could hang out with



life can suck sometimes

 

[kaze-kage]

Hi Kaze-Kage

I can relate to most of what you write. I think that you should stick to being yourself. It's what we do best. There's nothing wrong with being weird, if that's really how other people see you. I find "weird" people much easier to talk to, since they're usually a lot more interesting and open (and I'm a little weird myself!) Be yourself and love yourself for who you are, and I'm sure that you'll start to feel more comfortable with yourself around other people. If other people can't accept it, that's their loss

And that's a lovely avatar by the way ^^

Thank you! ^^

That's exactly what I should do.. but its hard to do. XD I try to be myself most of the time, yet people still take the wrong idea about me. Also you're right, "weird" people tend to be a lot easier to talk to and open. Except, I wish I could be that way. It seems to me like everyone else has their own best friends, and I should've made one a long time ago.. as for now everyone has their own friends and I'm left out. You know what I mean?

Hehe, yeah I know how you feel. It's easy for me to give optimistic advice now, but I remember what it was like back in high-school. Like you said, everyone seem to have a best friend and a group to hang out with. It was like this for me since day one. Most people were probably friends since earlier years. All my old classmates went to different schools. I was alone. I knew no one. I only got to know one guy in my class. We became the outcasts. It wasn't much of a friendship either, since he had tons of friends outside class, and didn't seem too interested in me. I had zero close friends back then and I have zero close friends now, but I felt 10 times as lonely back then

Looking back at all that, I regret that I completely isolated myself like I did. Driven by fear of not fitting in. I tried to fit in the first year by pretending to be like everyone else, and it didn't work. Perhaps if I had tried more of a natural approach, being myself, accepting myself, then perhaps I wouldn't have been so afraid of speaking up. Perhaps my life wouldn't have been so lonely today. But it's too late to change that now ^^

I'm really sorry you went through that.. life just isn't fair. I'm afraid I'm heading that same path though, I tell myself I want friends and don't want to be lonely anymore, yet I reject everyone I meet. I guess its more of a habit than anything else now. What you said is exactly what I'm going through.. but its not fair for you to still be lonely even now..

 

[kaze-kage]

You're exactly right, I had one really good friend and bet it all on that she would stay with me forever just to have her leave, and during that I didn't let anyone else in, so now stuck with no one.

aw man the same thing happened to me about a year and a half ago, the worst part, is she never told me why. i told her to tell me if it was something i did. all she ever said was "it's complicated" and then lied to my face multiple times about still ebing friends even though we obviously weren't.

i don't think i'll ever forgive her, she was the only real friend i had that could hang out with



life can suck sometimes

That's how I feel about her too, the same exact way. I can't forgive her, yet I still search for someone that's exactly like her so I can be happy like that again.