Abandoned Abandoned and again Abandoned

[walkman]

I think I know what it is that makes people feel lonely the most. It's having insensitive, shallow and mediocre people around oneself, people who having the least capacity to Listen, who never open up, who never become vulnerable and say "I don't know". It's all about how much 'I know, I have'... me, me and endless 'me'ing... all the vanity and arrogance of it. They just talk on thier petty buisness topics, don't appreciate and take interest in anything meaningful.

I have some of my brother's aquantainces come home today. And I can't but help pity on thier sheer dullness. As if the have perfected a skill to 'neglect' things. They are stuck in thier shallow and senseless idiotic gossip. I feel like sitting infront of cardboards, not people, but heartless unintelligent things, chaotic units, dull and thick-headed. They are totally inadequate to meet somebody in heart. As if they have never had the joy of real communication.

Ahh! that it painful as... no wonder people isolate themselves. Is there ONE person out here who understands what I mean?! It feels distant and abandoned just being amidst these people.

The world could do with people with some real intelligence and humility!

_______________________

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
* Pearl S. Buc

 

[Bread]

EDIT:

Actually, forget about it.

 

[jjam]

I think I understand your frustration but I also think it's unhealthy to think so cynically of other people.

 

[walkman]

I think I understand your frustration but I also think it's unhealthy to think so cynically of other people.

Thanks jjam. Normally I'm not so cynical, but I felt really sick on this occasion. It was an evening totally wasted... a potentially social occasion spent on something so shoddy. I'm sure they are not so bad as well, but I wish people could really be healthy and receptive in thier conversations. Boy it can make you really sick if somebody just refuses to come out of his/her self-promoting habit.

Anyhow, no use thinking about it I guess. What's happened's happened. I guess I should've been open to them about it.

 

[cumulus.james]

I don’t think its just him being cynical, I feel like this a lot too. The other day I was standing outside the council offices watching the gray men come out in their grey suits and thinking the only thing they have to talk about is crap that only people inside that building would give a crap about. Then I was in the hairdressers getting my hair cut and the crap they talk about, and as they are talking their crap about some reality TV person or whatever it was you could tell that they had no understanding or real knowledge on the subject.

Neither the hairdresser or the gray men have anything to say to me nor I to them. I refuse to become like either of them just to fit in either.

 

[HappyYogi]

I totally agree. If you are a sensitive deep person you need similar to be with!

I have isolated myself much from the world, too for these reasons. I dont' hate people or anything like that, I just need them to have certain qualities for me to want to hang out with them.

Also, for me, many people are too negative for me. Not to put them down at all...but often people are too cynical, too rude, too inconsiderate of others, too narrow or closed minded for me to trust them or want to be around them.

HOWEVER, I do NOT "outline" how this comes to me. I AM open to ALL who are friendly, kind to me and this is important. I NEVER dismiss someone because of their class or creed or whatever...to me if they are friendly, kind with good qualities I am open to their friendliness even though my mind may say "not a good friend". Well, your spirit will bring friends to you in many different packages, good to be open to them in however they come! Just being open to love and friendliness has helped me a lot and enriched my life.

 

[Jilted John]

What you need to learn my friend, is that's the way the world.Most of the people in this world are self obsessed, shallow, money grabbing total bastards.Rise above them and find other nice broke saps here!

 

[Groove]

That's how it is. People on a wide majority blind themselves with material and fail to look at the real problems in life. They fail to be good friends and don't know how to show empathy. I know where your coming from, when you just look at the world and think where are all the righteous people gone. It's as if nobody gets you but you know deep down inside there is some one in this big wide world that would understand but it's just so hard to find them.

There is good people out there you just have to stay strong and have faith. Don't be sad. Start thinking of a way you can get rid of that sad feeling inside. What is the cause of this sad problem? Once you know that then think about how you can solve your sadness.

 

[lone_drow]

Hi Walkman,

About people who never seem to open up and show a more vulnerable side, they could have reservations on doing so because they fear judgement and abandonment. They also need to feel comfortable around you and to be able to trust you. Just my two cents on that.

To be honest, I've have also felt distant and abandoned around certain groups of people. These were folks who talk a lot, mostly about themselves. Their conversations normally revolve around the latest fashion, shoes, celebrity gossips and the occasional thrash talk. The more I tried to take an interest and participate the more I felt isolated because basically I was pretending to be someone else. Furthermore I felt completely drained as well. So I stopped for good.

Thankfully, I do know a few people who aren't like that. Give yourself a chance and give others a chance as well.

 

[walkman]

I totally agree. If you are a sensitive deep person you need similar to be with!

I have isolated myself much from the world, too for these reasons. I dont' hate people or anything like that, I just need them to have certain qualities for me to want to hang out with them.

Also, for me, many people are too negative for me. Not to put them down at all...but often people are too cynical, too rude, too inconsiderate of others, too narrow or closed minded for me to trust them or want to be around them.

HOWEVER, I do NOT "outline" how this comes to me. I AM open to ALL who are friendly, kind to me and this is important. I NEVER dismiss someone because of their class or creed or whatever...to me if they are friendly, kind with good qualities I am open to their friendliness even though my mind may say "not a good friend". Well, your spirit will bring friends to you in many different packages, good to be open to them in however they come! Just being open to love and friendliness has helped me a lot and enriched my life.

You are good at heart HappyYogi. I wish I was so wise on that day. But on that day all I could think of was to abandon those people... they deserved it on all rational grounds... but I stayed... I could not just reject them... and I can't... I thought "What would be the difference between me and them if I reacted to thier senseless behavior??" I have stopped deceiving myself. I think you just have to be a friend to people, even if they aren't to us. But it's **** hard, because compassion is a tough thing to act.

_______________________

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
* Pearl S. Buc

---

Hi Walkman,

About people who never seem to open up and show a more vulnerable side, they could have reservations on doing so because they fear judgement and abandonment. They also need to feel comfortable around you and to be able to trust you. Just my two cents on that.

To be honest, I've have also felt distant and abandoned around certain groups of people. These were folks who talk a lot, mostly about themselves. Their conversations normally revolve around the latest fashion, shoes, celebrity gossips and the occasional thrash talk. The more I tried to take an interest and participate the more I felt isolated because basically I was pretending to be someone else. Furthermore I felt completely drained as well. So I stopped for good.

Thankfully, I do know a few people who aren't like that. Give yourself a chance and give others a chance as well.



lone_drow, I understand what you are saying. You are right to make a point, but then in essense that's my point too. They keep reservations because they fear being abandoned, right. But why are they fearful in the first place?? Lets ask that. I had completely opened up my cards... and I always do. And to be honest I did something similar to what you did, namely, take interest in thier gossip... but that became just too senseless for me honestly to keep talking on somebody's faults, to keep criticising, or talk of buisness, celebrities and what not. And then do I just reject them??

Why don't people just take that first initiative to begin a healthy conversation?? Sorry I must have rather put this question to them. Have they been so caught in thier conditioning and fears?? Fear leads to violence. That means people are OK if they abandon and judge others, but they are not ready to be abandoned and be judged. They don't care how their behavior is affecting others around them. All they are concerned about is getting thier short term kix out of it. And that was the most painful thing that evening. What kind of relationship and friendship can come out of it??

---

Thankyou all of you for your replies!! Lonedrow, Groove, Happyyogi, jiltedjoh, cumulous... your feedback is valuable. I feel much more strong to face such situations!!

thankyou

lovingly
walkman

 

[lone_drow]

Why don't people just take that first initiative to begin a healthy conversation?? Sorry I must have rather put this question to them. Have they been so caught in thier conditioning and fears?? Fear leads to violence. That means people are OK if they abandon and judge others, but they are not ready to be abandoned and be judged. They don't care how their behavior is affecting others around them. All they are concerned about is getting thier short term kix out of it. And that was the most painful thing that evening. What kind of relationship and friendship can come out of it??

I have often pondered on some of the points you have put forward myself.

I guess a healthy conversation begins with a healthy mind?
if someone is filled with fear, hatred, insecurity and suspicions it clouds their perceptions and their judgement.

I hope you'll find that open and meaningful friendship someday.