Acceptance

[EveWasFramed]

It takes humility and character to accept people for who they are. It takes discernment and wisdom to accept people for what they do.

Do we really separate the two like we should? Is society capable of such, on a fairly consistent basis?

I believe that a person should be judged by their actions. It's all about choices. I feel that you should accept a person for who they are until they do something to prove they are not worthy of your respect.

But then...couldn't it also be argued that it's all about a person's perception of what's acceptable and what isn't? And is that really a bad thing?



.

 

[evanescencefan91]

interesting I like your point

these are good things to keep in mind

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree, and that's what I do. I'm perfectly fine with someone until they show me that they're not worth respecting.

 

[Badjedidude]

I guess I sorta test everyone who comes into contact with me. If they can put up with my antics and my aggressive nature and maybe even show me they have some balls by fighting back a bit, then I come to like 'em and accept them more easily. I generally don't trust people until they prove to me they have the guts to enjoy themselves for who they are.

Aside from that, I'm generally nice to everyone who doesn't immediately prove themselves to be incredibly ignorant or douchey.

*shrug*

Sounds petty and shitty of me.. and maybe it is. But it is who I am.

 

[A Desolate Soul]

very philosophical. however i think it's really a matter of one's morals And we all know morals are different for everyone. now it should be known that accepting someone and tolerating someone are two different things. acceptance involves understanding and embraces reality with openness whereas tolerances involves detachment and only hides a much deeper problem. is society capable of acceptance? not likely. not in this lifetime at least. it seems people are just tolerable of one another because they don't want to deal with it or they are just plain intolerant and hateful due to ignorance.

I generally am unbiased in nature. However, i am very observant and can gain insight on people very quickly by watching their body language. i usually try to see the good in one's deeds but often analyze the situation by thinking there is some other underlying motivation that is corrupt. Probably caused by my general distrust in humans (which I'm working on by the way).

 

[bens]

If people judged me by my actions they would've given up on me a long time ago. Potential/ genuine intention to do worthwhile things is important too I think.

 

[ThinkPositive]

Thanks for the great questions!

I definitely think there's that gray area with the last part...about how people have differing opinions on what's acceptable and what isn't. Even if everyone accepted people for who they were and only reserved judgment for their actions, what is "acceptable" is still very debatable. I think this is where cultural disagreements and misunderstandings can happen, too.

There's also the issue of who someone is factoring into their actions. Actually, this is big in the field of forensic psychology. If someone with a mental illness commits a crime, whether they get charged or not largely depends on whether they determine if they even understood what they were doing.

But I digress...

Oh, and another thing is liking vs. accepting. Just because I accept someone, doesn't mean I like them. For example, maybe I think someone's a perfectly nice person but maybe I also find them really annoying.

 

[dead]

It takes humility and character to accept people for who they are. It takes discernment and wisdom to accept people for what they do.

Do we really separate the two like we should? Is society capable of such, on a fairly consistent basis?

I believe that a person should be judged by their actions. It's all about choices. I feel that you should accept a person for who they are until they do something to prove they are not worthy of your respect.

But then...couldn't it also be argued that it's all about a person's perception of what's acceptable and what isn't? And is that really a bad thing?

.

awesome post, Eve. this is a very very interesting question.


i am not a huge believer in humility - simply because to me, it seems like an honest, sober and objective appraisal of self is far superior, even though people who are capable of such feat are rare.

accepting people for who they are and what they do comes fairly easily to me. i believe no two journeys are alike, and that mistakes are sometimes preferable - for being potential sources of learning. and if i believe in that - i have no right, or desire - to critique anyone's choices.
the only ones i have control over - are mine.

so... yes, it's up to everyone's perception, and no, it's not a bad thing.
good and bad... are tricky. subjective.

i DO judge people by their actions - and.. if i like them (not just accept, but like) - they become friends to me.

but that's just me.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Everyone's perceptions of live is different...its reality. Wheather a person accepts this or not
is up to that indiviual.

Unconditional love, Preference.

Acceptence is a principle...as I understand it to be.
In working the 12 steps program...acceptence is the principle of step 1.
I'm powerless over people, places and things. (Al anon) version of steps one.
The principles of acceptence is still applied to alcoholics or addicts or other 12 steps program.

In a nut shell..people are going to live, belief, act, as they wish to.
By me accepting this..it brings me freedom and peace. I dont feel like I have to
control people, place N events around me...It is what it is. Life happends as it should.
Everything unfolds as it should.

Acceptence of life on life's terms...such as death of a love one can be a son of a *****.
i had no say so over Jenni's death. This as another type of acceptence.


The principle of unconditional love...A parent might have this insight a little bit better.
As a parent...I will always love my children uncondidtionally. Sometimes they act in accordance
of what I belive to be ok..other times they don't. They makes mistakes..take unhealthy actions
or live a life style that I may not aproval of...Never the less I will always love my children.
I have this unconditional love for my children...I don't jugde them for what they do or dont do.
Saperating the person from their actions...rather I would try to consel my children of what
actions r healthy or not healthy. My children are nither good or bad...they simply make unwise
decisions...as Ive also had made myself ..as I develope as a person.
My mother has that same unconditional love for me...she dosnt aprrove of some of my actions,
decisions or life style...Never the less she still loves me unconditionally.

Preference...our beliefs system, morals, values, religion...etc.
Thes are all merely prefernce...
If it's just preference..then one is not better than the other (good or bad)...it's just different.
If we can come from this percipative then the competing, comparing stops.

As for my father...he is like pioson to me. He is still an alcohol in his disease.
Learning to saperate the person from the disease..can be difficult.
My father takes insane actions...
I love my father....I however need to love him from a distance.
I PREFER not to be his fucken punching bag. Those behaviors are unacceptiable/unhealthy to me.

notice i used the word...healthy or unhealthy...not good or bad.

By saperating ourselves from ur actions...we are able to change.
In other words...its still the same priciples as I've written about our feelings...
I'm not my feelings...I have feelings.
I'm not my actions...I take healthy or unhealthy actions.
I'm not my behaviors..I have various behavior patterns.
I'm not my traits..I have various triats.

Acceptence of ourselve...if we can accept ourselves as who we truely are..
with all of our assets and liabilties..our flaws, mistakes.
The good the bad..the evil the beautiful....etc
Without judging or condeming ourselve..then we are able to accept others as they are
with thier flaws and mistakes....
It's the same principle as loving ourselves first...it comes from the inside out.
Once we learn how to love ourselves unconditionally without condeming ourselves for
making mistakes or not acting proper everytime...than we are able to love others
unconditionally as will....We are all work in progress..its all continous grow or developements.

The short version...." Live and let live"

There's only 2 things in life that's a garantee...
1, you're going to die.
2, you must live until you die...
Everything else in between is a chioce (prefernce)

 

[EveWasFramed]

Is our perception of ourselves what we "want" to see or is it what we think others see in us? Which then begs the question...is our reality our actual perception, or our perception of what others perceive?

Yes, I just burned out several brain cells following that line of thought, lol.

 

[dead]

i think it depends on the person. for me... my perception of myself is kinda mixed - some of it real, some of it not so much.
aspirations.
illusions.
memories.

all mixed in a jumble. mostly do not matter much.

 

[RayRx]

It's hard for people to accept other people unless they similar to you. But we are all difference that make it's harder.

The best everyone can do is accept yourself as the way you are. In this case other people's perception or acceptance doesn't matter any more.

Ray

 

[windowsill]

i find it hard to accept myself

 

[RayRx]

i find it hard to accept myself

Normally we find it's hard to accept ourselves because we compare ourselves with the other.