Age differences

[Lollipop286]

Firstly, Nerdy.....I love the song you have as your signature I've linked it on my facebook and I'm in love with it....just had to say that, so everyone should give it a listening.

ANYWAYS!

I don't like younger guys or even guys my age for that matter. They act like little 8 year olds and it really makes me want to murder them at the end of the day. Not really that extreme but my god they're god **** annoying as hell! Sadly, a lot of 'older' guys act this way too. It's quite depressing. Obviously not every 'younger' dude is going to act like a little kid, but in my case...most of them do.

For that matter, I like older men, like 4-5 years older. I wouldn't date someone in their 30's or older...mainly because I'd feel like I was dating my dad Even though he's in his early 50's. If I were to find someone my age who was mature enough and whatnot, I'd give it a try, but someone who was younger? Eh....not too sure on that.

 

[nerdygirl]

Firstly, Nerdy.....I love the song you have as your signature I've linked it on my facebook and I'm in love with it....just had to say that, so everyone should give it a listening.

*laughs* It's been there a pretty long time. You just noticed it?

But yes, people... listen to the song! I get so many PMs about how great it is.

I wouldn't date someone in their 30's or older...mainly because I'd feel like I was dating my dad Even though he's in his early 50's.

Every time a gentleman in his 70s or 80s tries to flirt with me, I tell them that I don't have any father-daughter issues that need to be resolved.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Weird thing related to this thread a little, I seem to be more attractive to women older than me. I'm like that guy in American Pie that is hopeless with girls his age, but has a magnetising effect on the older ladies

Elderly ladies seem to see me as an adoptive grandson and I've received numerous amourous grins and glances from women I'd guess to be 25-30!

Similarly, there are two girls both 2 years older than me that seem keen to get to know me. On the other hand, girls younger than me are not interested (though really I'd rather be with someone my own age or slightly older rather than younger).

I think mental maturity counts for a lot. I tend to think about things a lot and people always said that as a child I was more mature than my years. I think it may because I've hung around adults about 95% of my life.

For that reason, I'd be happy to date a girl a bit younger if she was "grown up" and emotionally mature, but not in your typical case. I think you sort of grow a lot emotionally in the years between 18-20, so I'd rather have a girl a little older if anything.

I don't think age should be too much of a barrier in a relationship though. As long as it's not an older guy going out with a really young woman or vice versa, it's not too big a deal.

Interestingly, my major fear in a relationship is that I will be too "adult" about it and make it way too serious too fast, then take it really really painfully when it breaks up. It feels ominously like an omen

 

[annik]

I think mental maturity counts for a lot. I tend to think about things a lot and people always said that as a child I was more mature than my years. I think it may because I've hung around adults about 95% of my life.

I think this might be part of it with me. I've spent a lot of time with my sister and her friends who were all older than me. Plus I've always been quite mature for my age I think, though as I get older I think my maturity and age are evening out!

I think I've lived your fear a few times

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

Interestingly, my major fear in a relationship is that I will be too "adult" about it and make it way too serious too fast, then take it really really painfully when it breaks up. It feels ominously like an omen

Well let's look at the opposite of that. Would you rather be too immature and not do anything to develop the relationship?

Sometimes relationships go fast and they work out. Sometimes they don't. You won't really know how fast something is going to move until you're actually in the relationship. Women normally like to set the pace with this kind of thing, which I think is probably better.

Good luck with your keen girls haha. I can't even find an older one around me that's mature and wants to be friends let alone anything else.

 

[annik]

This whole speed thing makes me think. I had a friend who moved in with her boyfriend after 10 days. Now a lot of people are going to say whoa! too fast. Personally I thought of it as endlessly romantic. It must be said the speed was partly because she was moving out of the flat she was in and already looking for a place. They seemed really happy and were still together when I last spoke to her. My ex and I on the other had were still only seeing each other once or twice a fortnight after 3 years, fighting like cat and dog and miserable...

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

My parents were dating for three weeks before getting married. Lasted near twenty years so that sounds like a success to me.

I know a woman who dated a man for sixteen years before marrying him, a bit long but whatever works.

I sort of see the romance in the speed but much prefer the slow road during developing the relationship and roles. Every time someone rushes me I almost always lose it one way or another so I'm constantly hitting the breaks. Then I have to explain my reasoning and the seeds of doubt are sewn within the woman. Just can't win.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Good luck with your keen girls haha. I can't even find an older one around me that's mature and wants to be friends let alone anything else.

Well, I have a terrible lack of experience when judging "keeness", so I've probably got it all wrong anyway

That's an interesting example annik. I'm not sure that it's common things work out like that, though.

I think you have to strike a happy middle ground and adjust depending on what's happening. Ultimately, I'd probably lean towards slower progression than faster.

I've seen numerous "slow" relationships and they seem to be simple, happy types of deals that end happily (if they end) but all the "fast" ones I've seen usually end in a really heavy heartbreak.

My cousin, for example, was involved with this girl for about a year or so. They moved in together after only a few weeks, were constantly talking to each other's families and the result was she asked him to marry her. This put a huge strain on them and they split up.

I think logic is important. If you look to the future and everything you and your partner want is perfectly, unshiftingly aligned, speed can be alright. But if there's any doubt that things might change, perhaps it's sensible to go slow and steady.

Anyway, I'm not qualified to be talking about this really and so I shall pause my typing fingers

 

[annik]

Weirdly I've had a slow relationship and a fast one go wrong so I'm just super lucky
I think fast ones can be more exciting but you're more prone to lose your head and make mistakes. Slower one's I think are easier on the emotions but too slow and doubts, bitterness creeps in.

I think the happiest would be going at a pace you're both happy with be that fast or slow!

 

[rosebud]

I think if you find that special someone who makes you happy the age difference doesn't matter one bit.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

As long as the woman wasn't extremely older or younger than me, I'm sure it would be fine. Should I find her, it would be a shame to let go the woman I've always dreamed of, because of a slight age difference.