Age gap relationships gone wrong?

[Callie]

I'm sorry, perhaps I'm missing something, but from what has been said, I'm not seeing how he's such a pig.

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Guy who called it disgusting. Inappro

First, not everyone is a guy...and second, that comment IS somewhat ******* disgusting.

 

[maidahl]

As long as you're not calling me disgusting. I may have read it wrong. I'm on my iPhone.

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When did anyone call him a pig?

 

[shesafrozenfire]

Guy who called it disgusting. Inappro

1. I'm not a guy;

2. What he said was pretty disgusting. If it were me, I'd have been appalled.

As long as you're not calling me disgusting. I may have read it wrong. I'm on my iPhone.

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When did anyone call him a pig?

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Re-read it then. I did not call you disgusting, nor did I judge you for the relationship.

 

[maidahl]

<3 sorry, chick.

 

[passage]

Lol, so you were drunk, and messed your professor who's 20 years older? Well if you were expecting a relationship out of that, you are dumb/naive/ignorant. If you were just looking for sex, thats ok. Either way, I don't see what your problem is. Maybe you'll learn something from this, but I really doubt it.

 

[Badjedidude]

Lol, so you were drunk, and messed your professor who's 20 years older? Well if you were expecting a relationship out of that, you are dumb/naive/ignorant. If you were just looking for sex, thats ok. Either way, I don't see what your problem is. Maybe you'll learn something from this, but I really doubt it.

I hafta sort of agree with this.

It was stupid to sleep with him. And it was dumber to think that it meant anything to him.

If this story had a headline, it would seem to be:

Older guy in position of authority manipulates young, impressionable girl into sleeping with him.

No offense, madiahl. Just count it as a lesson learned and think twice next time.

 

[Okiedokes]

A pig for using her. If it were a mutual fling, then that's different imo. Regardless of age difference.

 

[Badjedidude]

A pig for using her. If it were a mutual fling, then that's different imo. Regardless of age difference.

That may be true, but let's not pretend she's a witless victim. She had just as much say in it.

Just a bad situation altogether, I'd say.

 

[maidahl]

Error in judgement? It's common apparently. I got screwed and screwed over. I'm no naive lamb-sucker ignorant. I knew what I was getting into, but I thought it would turn into more than. Instead, he turned asshat when I wanted to be official. Said I was too young, agnostic, and..... still hot. Parting words: "You're lucky you're hot. I wouldn't have done this unless I thought you were gorgeous and smart. But I'm 40. Come on." I wrote it in my diary. Butthead. I made my Siri say it everytime I thought about drunk-dialing him. Haha. My Siri also says," Getoh -ver it LauraHe -izza backkchamb erpooophead.
]

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont think it's an age thing or a guy thing....

It's the dude you're dealing with thing. He can be 20 yrs old and still treat you
the same. It's just he's way of tempting you and inferioring you.

Heck the 20 yr old use to tell me all kinds of stuff such as...if i can
still go like a young buck...stuff like that.

I dont think what you did was wrong or disgusting.

Whatever you do...dont carry the guilt or beat up on yourself.
What's done is done, You cant go back right , wrong or indifference.
You must move on...
If you feel hurt by it...then cry.
If you feel angery, then get mad.

But you must move on without carrying the mental and emotional baggages.

Whatever lessons you learn or didnt learn...

Please dont beat up on yourself. You must move on.

This is what ive learn from life. Wheather it has to do with sex or not.
whatever the situation may be. Male/females
When people do me wrong, this is there famous last words
to make themselve feel better and put me down.
Get me to question myself or divert from thier bullshit.
" grow up"......

I believe you feel hurted and used...If that's how you feel...that's how you feel.
Im sorry that you feel that way.

i also have daughters in their 20s....
They all have boys trouble. They get hurted by men, period...whatever age or situation.
All I wish is for my daughters not to hurt anymore. i love them very vey much.

i wish the same for you.

 

[maidahl]

Well said

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't think it was an age gap thing. Some age gaps do work.

I think it's the fact that you picked a total *******, and he was willing to hurt you. It was an abusive relationship, and I'm sorry you had to find that out.

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm no naive lamb-sucker ignorant. I knew what I was getting into, but I thought it would turn into more than.

If you knew what you were getting into, then you wouldn't have thought it would mean more than it did.

Srsly. (D)

 

[Callie]

Told me to grow up a little and call him if I really ever thought it wasn't just sex.

Said I was too young, agnostic, and..... still hot. Parting words: "You're lucky you're hot. I wouldn't have done this unless I thought you were gorgeous and smart. But I'm 40. Come on."

Okay, I'm probably going to be in the minority here, but those two quotes have completely different meanings.
I still don't see him as an ass or a pig. He's an older man, so wanting someone more mature/grown-up/whatever doesn't seem like that big of a thing to me.

 

[Badjedidude]

I still don't see him as an ass or a pig. He's an older man, so wanting someone more mature/grown-up/whatever doesn't seem like that big of a thing to me.

What makes him a pig is that he dumped professionalism and any ethical boundaries to the wayside when he had sex with a student. He's a pig because his baser urges overruled any dignity or esteem he had for his own career/profession. Granted, at the college level it's not as deadly serious as it would be at a high-school level... but it's still pretty bad.

Wanting a woman his own age is perfectly fine.

 

[Felix]

Error in judgement? It's common apparently. I got screwed and screwed over. I'm no naive lamb-sucker ignorant. I knew what I was getting into, but I thought it would turn into more than. Instead, he turned asshat when I wanted to be official. Said I was too young, agnostic, and..... still hot. Parting words: "You're lucky you're hot. I wouldn't have done this unless I thought you were gorgeous and smart. But I'm 40. Come on." I wrote it in my diary. Butthead. I made my Siri say it everytime I thought about drunk-dialing him. Haha. My Siri also says," Getoh -ver it LauraHe -izza backkchamb erpooophead.
]

Doesn't seem like he did something wrong. He could have lied to you by making you promises, but he was honest about not wanting anything serious.

Seems like you saw something different than what was happening.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Are you sure he said that because of your age? Or because he really thought that you just weren't mature enough for a relationship. Because I know a 26 year old who needs to grow the hell up... And I'm 23.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's the intent or motive. Just like sarcaism.

Just like the word " fresia " or anything else......

I dont know about you all..but Ive dated younger women...
And the last thing i wanna do is tell her to grow up.
Not unless i wanna piss her off or hurted her.
It's not rocket science.

it's like me telling a fat chick.( if i was going out with her)
"chick...our car keeps bottoming out everything you get in "

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's not her that needs to grow up, it's him, Lonesome Crow. She wasn't the one who made the negative comment.

It just sounds like he is emotionally less mature than her, as a 20 year old. He probably is emotionally 16 years old, despite being a professor and all. I know lots of guys like that, who are intellectually sound but lack the emotional maturity to go anywhere.

And it is also possible that he has Aspergers, and just doesn't know when to shut up, or has poor social skills.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

you always mis understand me...dude.