jodyathornton
Active member
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2009
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
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Since I've always had low self-esteem and suffered from depression, it's really hard to pinpoint what is really wrong with me deep down.
I know a big part of what's wrong with me now is aging. I'm almost 57 now and it's taking it's toll. I know people are suppose to age gracefully (whatever in the hell that's suppose to really mean), but I can't seem to be able to do it. Through the years, I was a nice looking woman but now I can't stand to look in the mirror. I use to wear makeup and dress nice but now I just don't care what I do because it seems like no matter how I fix up, I'm still unattractive. At this stage of my life, it would be nice to have somebody to grow old with but since I have low self-esteem, I can't seem to attract anyone except for the older guys who I'm just not attracted to or someone who just wants a "good" time. I'm just not into that. I don't even have a sex drive anymore so that's out of the question anyway lol. I suppose part of that is because my hormones are so whacky now but I've recently started taking the bioidentical hormones so hopefully it will change. I don't know if there's an answer to my dilemma or not. I know that when it's my time to go, I'm ready because there's really nothing left for me here anyway. I know I need to be here for my mother who is 84 (and healthier than I am) but I'm just tired of just existing and not having a life.
Every time I post something on here, I keep expecting bad feedback but everyone's been so nice and I really appreciate it. It's nice to get this stuff off my chest.
I know a big part of what's wrong with me now is aging. I'm almost 57 now and it's taking it's toll. I know people are suppose to age gracefully (whatever in the hell that's suppose to really mean), but I can't seem to be able to do it. Through the years, I was a nice looking woman but now I can't stand to look in the mirror. I use to wear makeup and dress nice but now I just don't care what I do because it seems like no matter how I fix up, I'm still unattractive. At this stage of my life, it would be nice to have somebody to grow old with but since I have low self-esteem, I can't seem to attract anyone except for the older guys who I'm just not attracted to or someone who just wants a "good" time. I'm just not into that. I don't even have a sex drive anymore so that's out of the question anyway lol. I suppose part of that is because my hormones are so whacky now but I've recently started taking the bioidentical hormones so hopefully it will change. I don't know if there's an answer to my dilemma or not. I know that when it's my time to go, I'm ready because there's really nothing left for me here anyway. I know I need to be here for my mother who is 84 (and healthier than I am) but I'm just tired of just existing and not having a life.
Every time I post something on here, I keep expecting bad feedback but everyone's been so nice and I really appreciate it. It's nice to get this stuff off my chest.