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jales said:
Also just wanted to say.. long distance does work. I know so many couples who met online and are very happy today. When my husband and I met I was living in Jamaica (Caribbean) and he was living in Holland (Europe).. and we met right here at alonelylife.com

And our relationship is amazing.. It can work.. and you can meet someone.
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Wow. It's really neat to see examples of these long-distance relationships working. It gives me hope, because anyone I meet that I feel is truly special always lives a million miles away.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you grow and maintain a relationship over such a distance? And how did you decide in the end who would ultimately have to move?
 
All I can type is that I appreciate this response.

Eternal Optimist said:
Sometimes relationships can make you feel far more lonely than you ever did on your own. Especially if you already find it difficult to connect to people. I have twenty years worth of various length relationships behind me, and every single one of them made me feel lonely and miserable! Think I'll stick to being free and single :)
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d3vilscr1be said:
All I can type is that I appreciate this response.

Eternal Optimist said:
Sometimes relationships can make you feel far more lonely than you ever did on your own. Especially if you already find it difficult to connect to people. I have twenty years worth of various length relationships behind me, and every single one of them made me feel lonely and miserable! Think I'll stick to being free and single :)
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If only everyone else on this site had that much sense. Sigh.
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Hi I am Daria. I am 41 from the USA. I live on my own (well with my cat) and I have a professional job that is interesting and has good pay. Personally, I think I am great. But I do have hidden shyness and avoidance. I have some avoidant personality disorder though most people who know me would never think so because I can be so extroverted when necessary. I think this is why I am alone. When I don't know someone I rather come on as an extrovert and they think I am great...but as they get more comfortable and respond I back away. Typically they are hurt but it isn't a reflection on them it is on me. So a long distance pen pal thing would be just fine.

Though I would like to have friends / loved one, if it doesn't happen I think I will be ok with things. Though it sure would be great just to have like a main friend.

When I look at online dating sites I have a very hard time really getting who the person is. First, a lot of people don't know who they are. So their profile is all wrong (this includes me). Also I do find it hard to see the person first. I tend to take from the photo something about the person which might not be true. I find it easier to know the person from the way they act and then, see the photo. Which typically seems better after I know them, no matter what. I also don't seem to bond with "interests." Most dating sites will ask what you like to do in the hopes that there will be a common bond, but I find that to never really work. People bond over experiences and similar thoughts not the act of bowling.

I also tend to need things to go slow. I have trust issues and if you aren't patient, I just can't deal. Some people I have talked to on dating sites have max 7 e-mails in them before they want to meet. Seriously I need like a year. I need to KNOW you...

I sometimes think that the idea of arranged marriages had the right idea. Personally I think today that is a shockingly high but hidden amount that actually do this. I do think people marry for all sorts of mercenary reasons and it is this really big secret. I do think that when you live with someone -- unless a massive jerk-- you can't help but care about them. And though of course there are drawbacks we have swung a little far back the wrong way. I mean when you go to the furniture store you don't search for the perfect couch forever, you just find one you think is decent and learn to live with it. But we have all gotten obsessed with the perfect one instead of just someone we can deal with and I think it makes a lot of problems and loneliness. I am just saying it is something that could work in the right circumstance.
 
LadyDaria said:
Hi I am Daria. I am 41 from the USA. I live on my own (well with my cat) and I have a professional job that is interesting and has good pay. Personally, I think I am great. But I do have hidden shyness and avoidance. I have some avoidant personality disorder though most people who know me would never think so because I can be so extroverted when necessary. I think this is why I am alone. When I don't know someone I rather come on as an extrovert and they think I am great...but as they get more comfortable and respond I back away. Typically they are hurt but it isn't a reflection on them it is on me. So a long distance pen pal thing would be just fine.

Though I would like to have friends / loved one, if it doesn't happen I think I will be ok with things. Though it sure would be great just to have like a main friend.

When I look at online dating sites I have a very hard time really getting who the person is. First, a lot of people don't know who they are. So their profile is all wrong (this includes me). Also I do find it hard to see the person first. I tend to take from the photo something about the person which might not be true. I find it easier to know the person from the way they act and then, see the photo. Which typically seems better after I know them, no matter what. I also don't seem to bond with "interests." Most dating sites will ask what you like to do in the hopes that there will be a common bond, but I find that to never really work. People bond over experiences and similar thoughts not the act of bowling.

I also tend to need things to go slow. I have trust issues and if you aren't patient, I just can't deal. Some people I have talked to on dating sites have max 7 e-mails in them before they want to meet. Seriously I need like a year. I need to KNOW you...

I sometimes think that the idea of arranged marriages had the right idea. Personally I think today that is a shockingly high but hidden amount that actually do this. I do think people marry for all sorts of mercenary reasons and it is this really big secret. I do think that when you live with someone -- unless a massive jerk-- you can't help but care about them. And though of course there are drawbacks we have swung a little far back the wrong way. I mean when you go to the furniture store you don't search for the perfect couch forever, you just find one you think is decent and learn to live with it. But we have all gotten obsessed with the perfect one instead of just someone we can deal with and I think it makes a lot of problems and loneliness. I am just saying it is something that could work in the right circumstance.
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I don't think arranged marriages are anything more than slavery for the women involved, as they're just chattel to be batted about by the menfolk in whatever way they pleased. The men typically being closer to middle age, at least, and the girls being pubescent, at best. There are still marriages like that in places like Afghanistan. It is seriously abhorrent. Forced marriage is a generally lifetime sentence of rape, beatings, and strictly-enforced obedience.

I know this is probably not what you meant, but I get heated on the subject. It is not something to romanticise or think wistfully about. That it is often combined with female genital mutilation in many regions of Africa takes it to an almost unreal level of horror for those involved.

Free agency may be difficulty, but it is better than the horrors that forced marriage render upon a female.
 
Hey all, I'm skinny, dark and 28 years old. Bit shy and laidback, have some friends but not many and sometimes seem to put people off because I get mild to more strong anxiety in social situations, I'm getting better at overcoming it/ making people laugh again tho.

I'm very accepting, I'm attracted to shy/quiet women or those who are adventerous or those with views/ values which are unconventional or interesting. TBH though I'm probably attracted to most women :rolleyes: :).

I like anything outdoors, politics, travelling, stuff like urbex, used to be really into graffiti, like reading. Have had long term relationships in past, could go long or shert term now I don't mind.
 
Sure I have nothing to lose

24 year old, male, California USA.

I am shy and have a difficult time meeting new people. Once I get to know someone I am much more outgoing and I like to joke around with them a lot. My hobbies are music, exercise, traveling and exploring new things. I also like getting to know people who share common interests with me, I am also pretty sensitive and I will always say whats bothering me.

I am not picky on about what I look for in a partner, all I ask for is someone who is not emotionally or physically inconsiderate or abusive.
 
FoolishSheep said:
I want a girl but I don't think they want me! ))))): I'm too unconfident and weird.
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Forget being unconfident and weird!. Your bio says that you are 12 years old, yes? Time to do a bit more growing up before you get into serious dating I think. (and yes, your granny would probably say the same!)
 
Nobody else think that being single is awesome? I used to be desperate for a girlfriend, but I grew out of it. At 24, I'm glad I'm single. I have too much to do that a relationship wouldn't be feasible. I have time dedicated to work, voluntary work (for CV building purposes) and my own solitude. I can't sacrifice the former, and I don't want to sacrifice the latter. A relationship would be cramping at this point. I think love, in this day and age, is for those that are settled and have a career established. What good is a relationship if you're struggling for money or worrying about debt etc? Be happy single, and then you'll probably find that you'll be happy in a relationship.

We have a good few years on this earth. Why rush?
 
jean-vic said:
Nobody else think that being single is awesome? I used to be desperate for a girlfriend, but I grew out of it. At 24, I'm glad I'm single. I have too much to do that a relationship wouldn't be feasible. I have time dedicated to work, voluntary work (for CV building purposes) and my own solitude. I can't sacrifice the former, and I don't want to sacrifice the latter. A relationship would be cramping at this point. I think love, in this day and age, is for those that are settled and have a career established. What good is a relationship if you're struggling for money or worrying about debt etc? Be happy single, and then you'll probably find that you'll be happy in a relationship.

We have a good few years on this earth. Why rush?
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I don't mind being single (most of the time). I wouldn't say it's awesome, but like you, I have too much to do to be in a relationship.
Add my kids and my situation into that and well, it would be a lot for any guy to take on. So, I just keep trucking on being single and I'm okay with that...even if it does get depressingly lonely sometimes.
 
Hi, my name's Solitary Man. I've been a chronic loner and social recluse for most of my adult life. I'm 45 now. I never got married or had kids because I've suffered from depression and fell into a rut in my late 20s which I never got out of. I became socially isolated and found myself totally detached from mainstream society. I have no friends and what family I have live in England. I'm very socially awkward, have never been good in social situations, and have come to terms with the fact that I'll never get married, never have children, and shall simply grow old and die.

Thanks for listening.
 
I simply cannot resist this- I'm the perfect match ;)

Hmmm, let's see- I'm 47 (I just learned here on ALL my generation is responsible for the woes of the world- sorry folks) been described as a chump (I guess I am now that I'm helping out my ex who's recently become ill) and I've led a privileged existence (wait, what? Really? ****, must've missed that....:(). I live in an RV in the Canadian Rockies (the ex n' Kid live in a really great house though- lol). Let's see, I've got a face like a pitbull, I'm strong as an Ox (an older Ox), got all my teeth (who woulda thunk it!), and that damned hair on top of my head has independent thought and mind- I don't even attempt to deal with that mess up there except for daily showers (seems to make it happy).

My ideal match would be a mute, built, nympho who doesn't mind using a washboard to do laundry, is happy to cook over an open fire, and is interested in a lifetime of laughter, adventure, and exploring- sorry, no TV, I hate the **** things. I'm pretty accommodating so I'll build an addition (shed) and make room in the teeny-weeny closet for your runners, hiking boots, couple of pairs of jeans, a few shirts and other articles you'll bring along in your duffle bag.

Must be willing to put up with Kid on occasion- ok, a lot. She's as batshit crazy as her Dad but lots of fun, enthusiastic, and energetic- wishes I had a TV but manages well without it:p

Holy honeysuckle, NO one can resist that! Not into guys btw, sorry fellas:) I just know I'm gonna be inundated with proposals now.
 
saxtzb.jpg


Oh sorry WWC - I thought your said you wuz a CHIMP!!
 
^^ Not that yellow bum again! I will have to send The Wining Queen around to sit on your head .... that'll larn yer!! :D
 
WildernessWildChild said:
I simply cannot resist this- I'm the perfect match ;)

Hmmm, let's see- I'm 47 (I just learned here on ALL my generation is responsible for the woes of the world- sorry folks)
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That is false.
 

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