Alone...again

[MissWrite726]

Hi my name is Kristen I'm seventeen I've been a member here for over a year but haven't been active in over six months. Recently I've experienced: suicidal thoughts, death, grief, and abandonment. I'm really not looking to whine or anything just someone who is supportive there in good times AND bad when they have no friends AND when they are popular. I love romance, literature, old movies, music, animals and writing but I can talk about a lot of things. I'm open to people my age or older. One thing I will NOT accept is people who use me to make themselves feel better. I've met at least three people on this forum who deliberately degrade me to make themselves feel better I am not going to do that again. I've finally decided it's better to be alone than abused. It'd be nice to meet a guy but it's not a necessity. IF you're interested PM me before adding me on MSN. Thank you and I hope we talk soon!​

 

[jjam]

Howdy!​

I'm sorry you've been made to feel unwelcomed by a few users but you can believe that most people around here are kind and cool. You should stay and kick it with us.

love romance
Do you mean Romance as a genre or do you mean the idea/act of being in a love affair? I'm guessing both, but just wondering which you were referring to here.

literature
What's something interesting you've read lately?

old movies
Name some good ones.

music
Who are the first 3 artists that come to mind? Are you an instrumentalist?

animals
Do you have pets? What animals fascinate you most?

writing
What do you write about?

Hmmm. MSN. I haven't done that in years. Maybe I should get back to it. I remember it being a cool way to text chat online.

 

[MissWrite726]

Howdy!​

love romance
Do you mean Romance as a genre or do you mean the idea/act of being in a love affair? I meant Romance as a genre I love romance movies, books, music everything but also in real life I just haven't experienced it yet

literature
What's something interesting you've read lately? Well my favorite literature piece is The Crucible by Arthur Miller I know it's a play but I think it counts. Mostly I read romance novels Stephanie Laurens is my favorite author. I also read young adult novels most recently The Body Finder by Kimberly Derting.

old movies
Name some good ones: Top Hat with Fred Astaire, An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant, All About Eve with Bette Davis,

music
Who are the first 3 artists that come to mind? Are you an instrumentalist? Paramore, Flyleaf, Evanescence, Gershwin, Rachmaninoff woops more than three lol ...I don't know how to play an instrument but I'd love to learn someday I'm a singer by nature though

animals
Do you have pets? What animals fascinate you most? I have two miniature dachshunds named Vixen (a longhaired dark red) and Holly (a black and tan longhaired silver dapple) and I have a hamster named Fifi! Also we are going to be getting my mother a rabbit soon. All animals fascinate me but I love dogs, and exotic birds. I'm getting my GED right now for personal reasons then I'm going to go to college to study veterinary nursing for either domestic or exotic animals haven't decided yet. I'm going to write on the side though and maybe sing someday I'm not sure did I mention I love musical theater?

writing
What do you write about? I write about things that I want to happen or things that I believe will happen. Also about the things that are happening to me and other people I know. Generally realistic and contemporary though I have written historical. I write poems, songs, short stories and I'm working on a novel right now.

I hope that was interesting

 

[Tex Is Lost]

Wow....I feel like an underachiever.
Welcome, or rather, welcome back

 

[jjam]

I just finished The Girl Who Played With Fire and now I'm streaming All About Eve. I'm so glad you mentioned it!

A hamster in the house? wow! I had to look up Dachshund because I'm not familiar enough with that breed to picture it otherwise. There are a lot of dogs in the area I live. It seems like everyone has one.

 

[MissWrite726]

I just finished The Girl Who Played With Fire and now I'm streaming All About Eve. I'm so glad you mentioned it!

A hamster in the house? wow! I had to look up Dachshund because I'm not familiar enough with that breed to picture it otherwise. There are a lot of dogs in the area I live. It seems like everyone has one.

I'm glad you're watching All About Eve it's a classic love love love the ending it made me want to jump up and down lol.

I thought I'd write and say a bit more about myself. I'm looking for a job right now have been for two months and haven't found anything I'm trying not to get super discouraged but I need money because of my situation.
Also I wanted to say I've had a realization this past day or so and that is that I can't fix people. I've met a few on this site that I'm not the one to fix them. I've tried to help but they just keep being not only miserable but mean and angry towards others. If you find a post where someone needs help be kind but don't enter thinking you are going to save them or that you can fix them.

 

[CAS]

Funny, I thought I was that person. Well you live and learn.

 

[MissWrite726]

Funny, I thought I was that person. Well you live and learn.

You thought you were what person?

 

[CAS]

Funny, I thought I was that person. Well you live and learn.

You thought you were what person?

I'm really not looking to whine or anything just someone who is supportive there in good times AND bad when they have no friends AND when they are popular.

That person

 

[MissWrite726]

Funny, I thought I was that person. Well you live and learn.

You thought you were what person?

I'm really not looking to whine or anything just someone who is supportive there in good times AND bad when they have no friends AND when they are popular.

That person

If you're are referring to being the person who is supportive in good times and bad well maybe you are but how much of you is there invested and trying to uplift I don't know. You're anger and pessimism drives people away and then you say that you're alone.

 

[stuff4096]

Your first three music artists that come to mind are mine too... you have great taste in music I have experienced the same things you said you recently experiences except for death (at least not an actual death). It has been about a week since your original post. Are you feeling any differently? I do not agree that time heals all wounds but I do believe that in time the pain lessens to a certain degree and hopefully it has for you

 

[MissWrite726]

Your first three music artists that come to mind are mine too... you have great taste in music I have experienced the same things you said you recently experiences except for death (at least not an actual death). It has been about a week since your original post. Are you feeling any differently? I do not agree that time heals all wounds but I do believe that in time the pain lessens to a certain degree and hopefully it has for you

Thanks for saying that about my taste in music I'm feeling a bit differently but not necessarily better. In my case the death was real not someone super close to me but it's been having a profound affect on me. I'm having money troubles and I need a job haven't been able to find anyone hiring around here. I had a really rough therapy session the other night and I'm still kind of drained from that. The past few weeks one friend of mine has been I don't know growing distant acting different and last night they proceeded to tell me everything under the sun that they think is wrong with me and of course they "know" their opinion is right and any different view by me is just my ego. They said some things that really hurt me in a lot of ways and I'm just wondering why I bother talking to people who continually hurt me. This particular person doesn't explode like this often but when it rains it pours. I don't know what to do. The people in my life just seem to hurt me so much and yet there are ten or fifteen people that think I'm a good person that I'm strong and kind who am I supposed to listen to? It seems to me I hear the same things from people I am trying to work on them and I admit them as mistakes but that doesn't seem to make any difference to those that hurt me. The only person in the world who I have that loves me completely I don't even get to talk to that often. It sucks it really does I really don't know where I'm supposed to go. Anyway that was probably more than anyone wanted to know but it needed to come out.

 

[stuff4096]

Hey no worries about the long posts. That is what these forums are supposed to be for, at least in my opinion. Often times I have a lot of thoughts and conversations in my head that never materialize into actual conversations with the person. Sometimes writing can be just as helpful as talking, at least as a way to vent or get things out. I understand that you can feel different without feeling better. I am there now too. I had a two week period where I was completely depressed. While I am still sad now and none of my feelings have changed, I do feel different now. I can also relate to what you are saying about people who continually hurt you and the friend that has been growing distant. I am facing a similar situation with someone who I considered a very close friend at one point (this is by the way the non-real death I mentioned in my other post - the death of my very close friend; physically the same body still lives, but the person inside is not the same person I once felt close to). Everything seemed fine then one day out of the blue we did not talk at all (and this went on for a week until I built up the nerve to ask what was going on). Sadly these days we do not talk much, at least not one on one. Before that used to be a daily occurrence, but now it is few and far between. I do not believe this person is intentionally hurting me, but that is what is happening. In my case, I did try to get away from the situation only to find that where I ran to was actually worse. It did not work out in my case so I feel kind of like a hypocrite for telling to this, but if people are hurting you then you should consider moving past them. You really need to consider whether that hurt is worth any of the good that keeps you hanging around these people. I would listen to those ten or fifteen people you referred to who think of you as a good, strong person. Listen to the ones who have a positive effect on your life. It is easy for people to tell you what is wrong with you or think they know what you need to do (and they make it sound so easy) but at the end of the day it is your choice. I am sorry to hear that your therapy session was rough If I may ask, why is it that you do not get to talk often with the one who loves you? I can imagine how much it sucks not being able to talk to someone who loves you. In my case, I have yet to find such love and it really sucks so it can only be that much worse when you have someone. Anyhow, feel free to talk to me or anyone else you think you can. I am surely not the best person to give advice, but I do keep an open mind

 

[dead]

this is by the way the non-real death I mentioned in my other post - the death of my very close friend; physically the same body still lives, but the person inside is not the same person I once felt close to.

yeah. i know how that goes. one of the worst things ever - and you can't pull away, for the hope that one day, they will come back.

one day they will become once more the person you still hope to win back.

pain pain pain. eh.

 

[Merieth]

awww *hugs* I can relate to how you feel. I don't really have any friends either : ( and the ones i did have seemed to get sick of me after a while and then i am left alone again.. it really sucks.

i am looking to find some nice and supportive people to talk to also, i would be happy to talk to you!! although i have been going through a bad time in my life also, maybe we can help each other : )