Am I a terrible person?

[Fvantom]

This is something I just realized about myself and its been killing me, everytime I see anyone on facebook or anywhere, with their really good friends or just generally being happy, I get really depressed because I know I dont have that =[ I realized that Ive been feeding off other peoples misery, not for some sick pleasure but out of pure desperation, its not that I enjoy seeing people being unhappy, its just the only thing that keeps my sadness from consuming me. Am I a bad person for that?

 

[byebyebeautyful]

I think you are trying to find that you are not the only person with misery thoughts. It consoles you to know that other people have the sad moments too, it lets you know you are not alone.

your not bad for wanting to find out that you are not alone in your misery...that other people feel it too. We all do, every human being will feel alone. It is the natural state and we are always seeking something better, some moment of happy.

Why dont you have friends though? pm me if you would like?

 

[I'm Fine]

I think that's why places like this exist because people like us need to know that we're not alone. So no, you're not a terrible person *hugs*

 

[cumulus.james]

This is something I just realized about myself and its been killing me, everytime I see anyone on facebook or anywhere, with their really good friends or just generally being happy, I get really depressed because I know I dont have that =[ I realized that Ive been feeding off other peoples misery, not for some sick pleasure but out of pure desperation, its not that I enjoy seeing people being unhappy, its just the only thing that keeps my sadness from consuming me. Am I a bad person for that?

I think thats natural if your lonley/depressed. I do it in the streets - that great looking guy dressed in really cool clothes, the loving couple holding hands, the parants with their kids, the group of freinds haging out. It all bugs me and gets me down because I will never have any of that stuff and lets face it, those are the only things in life that matter. I know I'm not a bad person. I've never committed a crime and I havent killed anyone (yet lol). So I don't think you are either.

But I think you are looking at it the wrong way. The feelings you get are SYMPTONS of depression, NOT causes. You may feel worse because of them, but that is because you are unhappy and have low self esteem anyhow.

 

[SophiaGrace]

When you meet others like you it makes you feel more validated as a person, rather than a freak of nature. I think it's entirely natural to seek out others like yourself! You want to feel as though you belong, rather than are an alien alone in this world with no one else to relate to.

Hell, I went to AA meetings when I was in college because I felt so alone and when I heard the alcoholics stories, sitting there, it made me not feel as alone and made me feel less ashamed of my own problems.

I feel ashamed a lot of what I think or do or how i feel, so I keep a lot of it inside. I have a lot of shame within me and have had this feeling for the past few years. I also realize that I have low self esteem and have had that for a long long time. Actually, these past three years I just haven't really wanted to exist. I've lost the will to try and live, even though I continue on anyways, but I constantly feel more like a shell of a human being than an actual human being.


I hate happy people too. I hate how they make me feel as though I am not good enough, that there is something wrong with me. How they make me want to change and not be miserable anymore. I will never be like them. I should just give up on that.

Also you should realize that just because people look happy doesn't mean they are happy. They might just be really good at hiding their misery or troubled soul behind a mask of a smile. You have no idea what people are going through, behind closed doors or what they really do. Sometimes I look around at people in a grocery store and wonder who they really are vs. what they appear to be standing there in the next check-out line.

[/ramble]

 

[Limlim]

******* facebook, if I had a nickel for every person it caused to be lonely I'd..... Well I'd have at least 20 nickels that I know about.

 

[Fvantom]

Well its not random people that I feed off of, its when someone has what I dont have and either brags about it, or whines about how horrible their own life is, I want to see those people lose what they dont know they have

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well its not random people that I feed off of, its when someone has what I dont have and either brags about it, or whines about how horrible their own life is, I want to see those people lose what they dont know they have

I think that's a rather morbid attitude. To me, that's like wishing bad on people just because you disagree with them. You may think it's whining, but you have no idea what's going on in their minds. Just because they post about it doesn't mean you know exactly what's going on. Even if it's something simple, no one really knows what the situation is.

 

[Fvantom]

Well its not random people that I feed off of, its when someone has what I dont have and either brags about it, or whines about how horrible their own life is, I want to see those people lose what they dont know they have

I think that's a rather morbid attitude. To me, that's like wishing bad on people just because you disagree with them. You may think it's whining, but you have no idea what's going on in their minds. Just because they post about it doesn't mean you know exactly what's going on. Even if it's something simple, no one really knows what the situation is.

Thats not how it is...theres plenty of people who have what I dont and I have no problem with that, its when people talk about it a lot...it just kills me, I dont want to think that way, dont judge, because after all this time of being forced to watch everyone around me being happy, I cant help but have those thoughts =[

 

[hijodeganas]

Well its not random people that I feed off of, its when someone has what I dont have and either brags about it, or whines about how horrible their own life is, I want to see those people lose what they dont know they have

I think that's a rather morbid attitude. To me, that's like wishing bad on people just because you disagree with them. You may think it's whining, but you have no idea what's going on in their minds. Just because they post about it doesn't mean you know exactly what's going on. Even if it's something simple, no one really knows what the situation is.

Thats not how it is...theres plenty of people who have what I dont and I have no problem with that, its when people talk about it a lot...it just kills me, I dont want to think that way, dont judge, because after all this time of being forced to watch everyone around me being happy, I cant help but have those thoughts =[

After reading this thread I think I'm sensing something here that I'd like to ask you about: Are you assuming that the cart comes before the horse? In other words, are you assuming that these people have friends and a social and THEREFORE they're happy, not the other way around?

 

[Kathy]

This is something I just realized about myself and its been killing me, everytime I see anyone on facebook or anywhere, with their really good friends or just generally being happy, I get really depressed because I know I dont have that =[ I realized that Ive been feeding off other peoples misery, not for some sick pleasure but out of pure desperation, its not that I enjoy seeing people being unhappy, its just the only thing that keeps my sadness from consuming me. Am I a bad person for that?

I feel the same way. I deactivated my Facebook account last week, just so I'd quit getting so depressed.

 

[hijodeganas]

This is something I just realized about myself and its been killing me, everytime I see anyone on facebook or anywhere, with their really good friends or just generally being happy, I get really depressed because I know I dont have that =[ I realized that Ive been feeding off other peoples misery, not for some sick pleasure but out of pure desperation, its not that I enjoy seeing people being unhappy, its just the only thing that keeps my sadness from consuming me. Am I a bad person for that?

I think thats natural if your lonley/depressed. I do it in the streets - that great looking guy dressed in really cool clothes, the loving couple holding hands, the parants with their kids, the group of freinds haging out. It all bugs me and gets me down because I will never have any of that stuff and lets face it, those are the only things in life that matter. I know I'm not a bad person. I've never committed a crime and I havent killed anyone (yet lol). So I don't think you are either.

But I think you are looking at it the wrong way. The feelings you get are SYMPTONS of depression, NOT causes. You may feel worse because of them, but that is because you are unhappy and have low self esteem anyhow.

Pardon the interruption, but I'm sensing a rather negative and irrational attitude. Why do you assume you will "never" have any of that stuff? Or that those are the ONLY things that matter? That seems contradictory in a sense... if they are the only things that matter, why not do everything in your power to get them?

 

[walkman]

This is something I just realized about myself and its been killing me, everytime I see anyone on facebook or anywhere, with their really good friends or just generally being happy, I get really depressed because I know I dont have that =[ I realized that Ive been feeding off other peoples misery, not for some sick pleasure but out of pure desperation, its not that I enjoy seeing people being unhappy, its just the only thing that keeps my sadness from consuming me. Am I a bad person for that?

No Fvantom, you are not bad, but you havn't come out of the conditioning that society has put in - namely, always comparing. We are jealous, we compare. I agree facebook sucks, but only because people have made use of internet to do more idiotic things. What was supposed to be a boon has become a curse as more people feel lonely. People show off thier mediocre fortune, but they are OK about it. While some others are concerned about real freindships. Who do you want to be??

But let be tell you, Fvantom, there are lots of people who have 'better' things than me, and will perhaps keep having; some have worked for it and so deserve it, some havn't worked for it and yet have it. Anyhow, if I always compare myself, measure myself according to them, than what am I left with but agony. Why don't you compare yourself with people less fortunate than you?? So don't compare... you are what you are.

Finding out people akin to you who suffer is quiet different to wanting people to suffer because you are jealous on thier fortune - for the former is sympathy, the latter is sadism. Nor are people really 'that' happy as they show off. Trust me, you'd consider yourself unfortunate if you stood in the shoes of most people on facebook. Everybody is limited and miserable in thier self-images, some better or worst than others.

Look at yourself, ask yourself, have you ever been sincere on anything?? It's your choice how you want to look at it. If you seriously need serious friends, facebook is not the way I'd say (though it can help in certain areas). You need to stop comparing.

We are there for you. Take care.

_______________________

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
* Pearl S. Buc