Am I just in the "friend zone"??? Or is she just hard to read???

[DJ ML]

There's a girl named Kara. She's an acquaintance of some of my friends and attends some of our parties. However, I have never actually "met" her. Well, anyhow, about a week or more ago I started talking to her and getting to know her. She was a tad bit shy at first and didn't say much, but she soon started being very "girly" and silly and jokey and texting me a lot. Typical girlish flirting, no need to explain all that. Other than that, we would text each other back and forth. The subject of what we like to do/ hopes and ambitions/ all that stuff would come up and we really started getting to know each other. I complimented her a few times and showed interest in her aspirations. She would also compliment me too telling me things like I was sweet and what not. Things were looking pretty good for at least a flirty friendship to arise if anything. Things were going great, actually.

I started looking for maybe an indicator of interest from her to give me the go-ahead to maybe schedule a date or something. I started seeing her interest by the fact how if I failed to text her very soon or at all, she'd feel as though i was bored and she'd start a new subject or get upset with me. It was obvious she wanted to keep our discussions going, and made a huge deal out of saying hello and goodbye to one another when we went to sleep or first woke up. This helped build my confidence with her and so I asked her the other day if she'd like to hang sometime before she leaves for her beach house this summer (she stays there all summer). She said she'd love to =]

I took her out to a nice restaurant in town today and we started conversation very easily. We kept eye contact whenever we spoke though it would trail off occasionally, and listened to each other. However...Though at first it was shy girly-guyish flirting (luckily it wasnt akward at all), the discussion soon averted to more "friendly" discussion, or so it seemed to me (maybe im just a lil unconfident). We sort of gossiped about friends and other people. Told lots of stories. Especially drinking stories and experiences at the beach and travelling. We talked briefly about the things that would help us get to know each other better and all that stuff for a bit, but that didn't really seem to be the main discussion. It was like 50% getting to know each other, and the rest being us cracking corny jokes, telling stories, and gossiping, almost like friends...

I've been in the friend zone before, and I was getting the vibe from time to time.

However, beside from everything else, the TWO things that make me think she see's me as a friend more than anything else, is the fact she kept talking about her ex, Morgan, that she dated for a long time. She lost her virginity to him (She didn't tell me that, but she probably knows that I know). I subtly told her she was talking about him a lot...She said: "sorry, but most of my stories im telling seem to involve him too...sorry". And I wasn't offended and didn't give the impression that I was, but I did let her know she was speaking about him a lot. She seemed to overall drop him out of conversation mostly, though he came up about once or so, briefly.

And the second thing...While we were out, there's a guy in our town who all the girls love. Kinda the town "hottie". His name's Adam, and he was texting her all the while we were out. Everytime she opened her phone (which was about 7 times or so the whole 2 hours we spent together) she would say how annoying he was being and was making fun of him. I could sorta tell a part of her WAS annoyed, but was flattered he was showing interest in her, especially since he has a gf, at the same time. Also told me how he was saying dirty things to her and was like "yeah he has a gf...lol". Idk...

She also kept talking about how spoiled she is by her Dad and gets everything she wants...

However beside from all that, after lunch, I asked if she wanted to just walk around town and told me she didn't care. She didn't seem to be in a rush to leave at all. If anything, IIIII was =[ She seemed like she wanted to keep hanging out but Idk...After walking around for about 15 minutes I told her goodbye and that I had to get home.

What do you think? Am I just a friend? Was she trying to subtly tell me that she wasn't interested? Is she just kinda complicated? Is she just careful with guys ever since her ******* boyfriend? What the hell's going on you think?

The girl's beautiful. She really is. It's just I'm having trouble seeing what's goin on under the surface here.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Ask her to go do other things..

Nah..you're not in the friendzone..

Just take it slow

 

[DJ ML]

Nah..you're on in the friendzone..

Did u mean to say im "not" in the friend zone, or that I am???

 

[Brian]

Hmmm, you probably should have tried for a kiss when you guys were walking. If nothing else, you're getting in to that gray area where she might lose romantic interest.

 

[bookbinder]

Looks like friend zone to me. Talking about her ex, texting another guy- you're clearly a lunch date, in more ways than one.

 

[luciddisconnect]

Sounds to me like she really is interested.

That said, the girl needs to attend princess reform school.

You read any advice column on dating and they tell you NOT to talk about your ex, NOT to take out your cell phone etc.

Of course she can get away with all these kinds of indiscretions and more because she's hot.

My advice is to make your feelings clearly known before you lose your chance.

 

[DJ ML]

Well, I texted her last night

Once I mentioned we should hang again she never replied.

Im pretty dumb, she kept dropping hint after hint that she wasn't interested in me....

Ughhhh.......

 

[Nyktimos]

She may still be weighing up her feelings. But whatever happens, there's nothing dumb about trying. At least she knows how you feel now, and you can move on with finding someone more suitable. Don't feel silly about it. Most relationships wouldn't happen if everyone was frightened of rejection.

 

[JustJones]

She likes you but it's obvious that she's in high demand. In my opinion what she might want is for someone to be forceful and make the move. I'd end the subtlety here and tell her exactly how you feel and that you'd like to go for another date with her. Actually, I think you're lucky that she talks about her feelings and such.. I've just had a date with a girl for the first time and she NEVER gives anything away in her texts so she's really hard to read but that didn't stop her planting a kiss on me at the end of our date.

 

[luciddisconnect]

Maybe you should ask if you really want to be with a girl that makes you question yourself so much. Appearance doesn't matter all that much once you really get to know someone. Better to seek out someone that openly likes you.

If you did find yourself in a relationship this girl she might just make you hate yourself.

 

[Jesse]

Looks to me like you're in the friend zone. Don't let it get ya down though, there's plenty of others.

 

[DJ ML]

I'm over it and all. It's cool. I spose I'll find someone new?

 

[Jesse]

I'm over it and all. It's cool. I spose I'll find someone new?

I'm sure you will and remember, just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean you have to have an asexual demeanor. Don't go for a kiss at the end of the date if you havn't even touched her yet.

Watch the pick-up artist. I think it's dumb how he has all these pre-made sets of lines and stories designed to trick women, but he does have good points about escalating things in a way that keeps you out of the friend zone.

 

[SighX99]

the friend thing is fuckin bullshit. same thing happened to me. i thought we clicked, i thought we connected, but no it turns out i was just some fuckin friend...fresia. everytime i think about that honeysuckle, makes me wanna cry and cut myself.


id like to fresia female friends, whats wrong with that

u kno what girl, u can be my friend after we messed.

im sorry, its beena rough week for me i need to vant.



great story tho i can relate to you...at least you got over it. for me its been 6 years and i still think about it before i go to sleep sometime...**** i really loved her, fresia my life

 

[Lonesome Crow]

the friend thing is fuckin bullshit. same thing happened to me. i thought we clicked, i thought we connected, but no it turns out i was just some fuckin friend...fresia. everytime i think about that honeysuckle, makes me wanna cry and cut myself.


id like to fresia female friends, whats wrong with that

u kno what girl, u can be my friend after we messed.

im sorry, its beena rough week for me i need to vant.



great story tho i can relate to you...at least you got over it. for me its been 6 years and i still think about it before i go to sleep sometime...**** i really loved her, fresia my life

Signs...I have some MP3 fies I can send you of how you can
get out of the friendzone...lol
It dosn't have any pick up line in it..However what it dose is help you change
your mind set about women and suggest ways to work on yourself.

Nah...man , don't use those stupid lines.
it depends on the girl and how the conversation is going.
A woman will let you know right off the bat if she's attracted to you or is open to you.
A lot of it has to do with you're self confidence and selfesteem...there's no way to fake that.
You bascailly have to work on yourself first and get rid of all the enternal conflicts within yourself.
It's an attraction not promoting kind of thing.

Example..if you're not over an ex...(for a guy) it's a total turn off to women.
They'll sense it really fast...then again it also depends on the woman that's willing to help you get over your EX.lmao
If you inneract with a woman like that and thinks she's snowwhite and you wanna save her..you pretty much set yourself
up for a fall. She not an angel.lol

Dude..there's babes out that just wanna fresia and they don't wanna be your friend
There's babes out there that likes sex more than I do..lmao

Sorry about the lost of your girl friend. I know it's real and it
can take years to get over a relationships or someone you
love.

Yeah man..chicks are wierd dude...don't take it too personal.
I used to have chicks hit up on me all the time when I'm not
fucken available...FFS.

I think it's a territory or control issue thing with women.
I spoken to some women about it...

Some say it's becuase they saw how happy my GF was with
me...so in their minds, they wanted a guy like me or me..lmao

Some say it's kind of like that too..but it's more of a test of
will or domination. They flirt with me or wanna have an affair
with me just to prove that I'm not a prince in a shiny armor and
that all men are dogs...lmao

Some women tells me it's my bad boy attittude or the way I carry myself.
It's kind of like I'm myterious to them and they can't figure me out
and bascailly wanna push all my buttons to tame me..lmao

Some women...i just smile at them..becuase in my mind I'm pictureing her naked
and she's pretty much kind of send me singles that's it's okay for me to check her out.
What pick up lines???? You don't need any.

Some women..bascailly just asked me out or made themselves avaliable to me or flirt back
right off the bat. She'll start making body contacts or touch me right off the bat.

IDk...I've made out with chicks the first time I saw them...like 10 mins later.
My ex-wf asked me out and I was bascailly slow dancing with her and making out with her 5 mins later.
My first GF..I made out with her an hour later.
I've done those one night stands too.
I never had any of those pickup lines or how to pick up a girl.
And I don't think I'm a total stud either. On top of that...I'm asian and I've only been involves with
white chicks....So it can't be just my physical appreance.

So yeah...in a way if you're trying to play that...lets be friends first..That seldom worked for me.
That only happened to me once...but I was involved in a relationship already. It tooks almost 3 years
for us to hook up....3 years for a guy in their 20's is a life time...lmao

Play the field dudes....