Am I stupid or just really dumb?

[lbstanley70]

I was at a buddy's house last night with some friends, drinking beer and playing the xbox kinect and having a good time. My phone rings (this is midnight mind you) and it is my ex. I obviously answer the phone and talk to her and before you know, we talk until 2 am in the morning about nothing but I am thrilled and excited because she is the person to whom I want to talk to more than anyone else in this world. It really was just catching up and we didn't talk about us at all and it was nice to hear how she was doing and just to actually know what is going on in her life. I keep telling myself I need to stop talking to her and just move on and make progress in my life but it seems like every time I take a step forward, she senses it and calls or texts or something and just reels me back in. I know what I need to do and in one sense I want to just completely let her go but right now I lack the fortitude to do it. She means so much to me and I know at the same time her feelings are not as deep as mine but as she said so eloquently last night, "I called you" and whether or not she is playing me, I can honestly say I would rather talk to her and spend time with her more than anyone else in this world.
Maybe one day I will figure it out....

 

[IgnoredOne]

I don't think yo uare either, just...pining.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

That kind of suspicion could drive you mad before you manage to figure it out. Inevitably, you will have to make an absolute decision whether to keep this ex in your life or forget about her and move on with your life. Where does your true happiness lie?

I don't think you're stupid, just confused. Stupid is as stupid does, they say.

 

[Polar]

I don't think yo uare either, just...pining.

This sums it up nicely doesn't it.

Talking from similar experience, I know for myself I still want to have my ex in my life. I also know I will most likely remain having lingering feelings for as long as she stays part of my life, but that is a price I'm happy to pay. She simply means that much to me. I do have taken my distance so there's room for someone new. I would hate making a girl feel she is competing with an ex lover when she is not.
Feelings and deep longing are not the same. I could easily fall in love with another woman. I think the question is, do you want to have your ex around because you care a lot for her as friend as well, or is it because you hope it will eventually lead to you two being together again? If it is the second you best lay low for a while because it will lead to more heartache almost for sure. The ex material is always tricky stuff.

 

[Kat]

You are not stupid. You are not dumb. You felt an emotional void which happens after breakups.

My ex recently sent me a birthday card in the mail. It means nothing. For him it's probably a way to get a reaction out of me because he's an abuser and I'm certain he tried to latch onto a new person and this failed. I spent a few hours with conflicted thoughts. I didn't contact him. I journaled and wrote him a fake letter in my journal about how I did have a happy birthday, he wasn't there to force me through an emoional rollercoaster ride.

I can't tell you anything with complete certainty. However I really really really caution you against answering her phone calls or other forms of contact. Make a list of things that you will do before you contact her. Let her leave a voicemail and don't answer your phone when she calls.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Not Stupid. Not dumb......Everybody is different.

As Kat said. I cant tell you or advice you for what you want out of life...especailly when it pretains to relationships.

I'm with Renae currently. She and I have been together many times and broken up many times.

Even during our last break up...which was only 4 monts ago.
She and I would keep in contact or I wouldnt hear from her for months.

I also lived with another woman or got another GF right after Renae and I split up.
Moving on with my life, trying to convience myself to let her go, filling the emotional void...etc..etc.
I still had/have lots and lots of love and emotions for Renae.
Jennifer for the most part was a nice, sweet, kind GF.
I callled Jennifer "Renae" one night...and that was that.
I've been in relationships before and I've done that thing of trying to turn other women into Renae, too.
I know you're not suppost to do that...but that's what I did or will do. I've done it recently.

FOR ME....
I also had to do a lot of soul searching and get honest with myself.
I love Renae very much. I broke up with my new GF...not knowing if Reane and I would even talk again.
It was like leap of faith for me. Then a week later Renae called me.
Its didnt go smoothly. Lots of calling, lots of miss understanding, lots of going back and forth. Lots of tears,
anger, and heartaches from both sides. We were communicating...honest communicating. Some of it wasnt
pretty.

Anyway....I'm living with Renae today.
You couldnt stopped me. Other people couldnt stopped me. Other people gave me thier opinions, advice
or veiws. Seriously, lots of people thinks I'm stupid for doing what I do and the track record Renae and i have.

I dont feel too stupid at the moment being with her, being loved by her and loving her.
She's the love of my life.

 

[kamya]

She's probably just playing you. Its girl game 101 to check back and touch base every once in a while to make sure she still has you hooked. Not only does it boost her confidence with other guys, but it gives her something to fall back on if she ends up not finding anything she wants. Kill your feelings for her and cut her out.

 

[hoangoclannomuon_208]

i fell emotioned about yourlove story. begin is break up and the end is love.I hope you will happy with your love.