Anyone ever get incredibly desperate?

[SeiToSai]

Sometimes I feel like I just want to date anyone. I feel like I'm so open and able to alter myself for others that I could make things work, but whenever I try it never does. It's like I'm the only person in this whole tri-state area who really cares about forming a strong bond with someone. I feel desperate sometimes that I just start searching dozens of websites to try to find a someone who will have me.

I've been fine for months, alone but not lonely. I've been working on myself, making great progress, and looking forward to the future. I made a friend in class and I hung out with her. She halted my weight loss progress and held me up for about a week hanging out with her. It was fine at first but not being 100% eventually screwed me up bad. She's a pretty girl (well she has a great body which guys care about SO much more than face it I've learned), she NEVER wants to stay in the house and it's just run, run, run, drink, drink, drink. It was fun until I realized it wasn't for me, that I didn't feel right not being thin yet, oh and that she was basically a user. She didn't care about our friendship at all, just what I could do for her as in helping her move telling her CONSTANTLY that she was making the right choice in leaving one of her 15 bf's, but the whole she cares about the most apparently.

I went home ASAP, but the damage is done now. I feel totally warped in my head and now I friggin' lonely as hell and I don't know what to do with myself. I guess once I overly starve myself and workout, get over being sick and get back on the weight loss track I'll feel back to normal....I hope.

 

[Ox Blood]

Accept yourself -- no matter what you look like. Because yes, you may get thin, but you still won't be happy with yourself once you get there.
And starving yourself will give you results, sure, but they won't last. Your body needs nutrition. It's OK to eat fats and carbs -- but you have to research the right ones. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a very vicious cycle.

---

For the time being, just focus and nurture yourself. Aim for your goals, and do it the healthy way. If you work on your self-esteem, your confidence will shine from the inside out. The rest will come in time.

 

[MadMonkè]

Thats just being a friend. nothing bad about making friends.
easy come, easy go tho.

I've dated a really ugly girl once.. none of my friends knew what was going on... including myself...
but I saw inner beauty.. eventually tho.. it didnt work out..

no sex no love.

 

[septicemia]

It sounds like you gave this girl to have WAY too much power over you! Why did you stop your daily routine just because you were hanging out with her? Friends and hanging out with people should enhance your life, not take away from it.

Madmonke maybe it didnt work out because you were ashamed of her and didnt tell your friends. I bet that hurt her feelings SO much, did you ever stop to think about that? I hope your actions didnt cause too much damage to her emotionally and mentally, and that she went on to find a man who appreciates her.

 

[passage]

You aren't supposed to starve yourself when looking to lose weight. Eat healthy food and you can eat quite a bit.

 

[crowtching tiger]

You just need to turn your swag on. Get some booze, pump some biggie, and just creep. You'd be suprised at how great you'd feel.

 

[Lost for now]

Well... I'd say you let her control yourself and you shouldn't have, but I've also been guilty with that. Happens. Love and need for intimacy does that to you.

Although, in a relationship where you have to change yourself to get to their liking, at one point you have to decide for yourself, if you're more important or them.

And MadMonkè, probably you calling her ugly did the damage, just saying.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Weirdly enough, I think I've "sort of" been desperate but it happens without my realising.

Example: When I went to further education, Girl A was the first girl to suddenly show me some really flirty attention.

She was quite pretty (in an unusual sort of way, not what the media would deign "beautiful" undoubtedly), and friendly. However, she was also very different to me, had a bunch of unstable personality traits and was extremely confused.

Looking back now, I find it unbelievable that I let myself hover under her "friendly" attention for around 5 months when I should have just cut through the crap and told her I just wanted to be friends immediately.

But wait 5 months I did, and the only reason is that it was so incredibly different to receive some attention from a girl that I genuinely thought she liked me.

Fortunately the girl that likes me at the moment is attractive, much more engaging and quite honest and forthright with me.

So I'm hoping that if I ever look back on this girl in retrospect, it'll be in a "Wow, I was lucky to meet her" manner rather than "Good God I was desperate for attention."

 

[putter65]

Weirdly enough, I think I've "sort of" been desperate but it happens without my realising.

Example: When I went to further education, Girl A was the first girl to suddenly show me some really flirty attention.

She was quite pretty (in an unusual sort of way, not what the media would deign "beautiful" undoubtedly), and friendly. However, she was also very different to me, had a bunch of unstable personality traits and was extremely confused.

Looking back now, I find it unbelievable that I let myself hover under her "friendly" attention for around 5 months when I should have just cut through the crap and told her I just wanted to be friends immediately.

But wait 5 months I did, and the only reason is that it was so incredibly different to receive some attention from a girl that I genuinely thought she liked me.

Fortunately the girl that likes me at the moment is attractive, much more engaging and quite honest and forthright with me.

So I'm hoping that if I ever look back on this girl in retrospect, it'll be in a "Wow, I was lucky to meet her" manner rather than "Good God I was desperate for attention."

I've turned down 2 women in my life.

One was 40 when I was 25. She had learning difficulties, wasn't very attractive and I got told she was a slut. (Giving her body to anybody who asked !) - she developed a crush on me, told me at this xmas party and I had to tell her I wasn't interested.

Another one 10 years ago, she was pig ugly but what put me off even more was her personality. She had a big mouth and was quite rude. One of my work colleagues told her I had a girlfriend and she stopped coming in.

I don't regret saying 'no' to either of these women.

 

[dresta2000]

I feel when things are not going well we can all get a bit desperate

 

[Yoosha]

I'm so desperate I'd date Shrek i really mean it, i'm so fed up with the single life and loneliness