Anyone here ever done pick up?

[stork_error]

Yuck

Thats all I have to say

and I'm judging and I'm ok with it

Yuck

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's manipulation....no thanks

 

[BeyondShy]

Yuck

Thats all I have to say

and I'm judging and I'm ok with it

Yuck

So am I.

Whatever happened to someone going up to a woman and introducing themselves and asking them if they'd like to talk? And then sitting down and getting them a coffee or a drink and getting to know them without playing these pointless games.

 

[Peaches]

Yuck

Thats all I have to say

and I'm judging and I'm ok with it

Yuck

So am I.

Whatever happened to someone going up to a woman and introducing themselves and asking them if they'd like to talk? And then sitting down and getting them a coffee or a drink and getting to know them without playing these pointless games.

that can happen only when you are not horribly afraid of connecting with a human being of the opposite sex (or whatever sex rocks one's boat) and when the mere thought of a relationship doesn't bring cold sweat on your forehead

 

[Paraiyar]

Yuck

Thats all I have to say

and I'm judging and I'm ok with it

Yuck

So am I.

Whatever happened to someone going up to a woman and introducing themselves and asking them if they'd like to talk? And then sitting down and getting them a coffee or a drink and getting to know them without playing these pointless games.

To be fair, that works well with some women but a lot react badly which is maybe why some men turn to these techniques. Wouldn't know, don't really want to try it myself.

 

[BeyondShy]

To be fair, that works well with some women but a lot react badly which is maybe why some men turn to these techniques. Wouldn't know, don't really want to try it myself.

Neither would I Paraiyar.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

Rodent: I pretty much agree with what you said. I am not too familiar with Roosh. But I've watched some of Julien's videos. While I've never been a fan and even when I was really deep into pick up I never dug his style, I felt that he was vilified a bit. It was his fault as he was an idiot (the owner of RSD was very upset with him, the one instructor who was cool left). But he really didn't do anything that bad when you think about. He basically exposed his sexual preferences and made himself out to be a pervert.

It's interesting that you said that people do not take the time to get to know each other anymore. I went out on this date with this girl a few weeks ago. I took her to a golden globe after party. The date was fine, I felt no huge spark. But she was nice enough, pretty, so I felt that I should give it another try. I texted her asking her out again, no reply. IMO it's hard to really get to no someone after just one date, and unless the date was a total disaster you should give it three dates. But she didn't want to give me another chance. I told this so some PUAs and they said "if you had more women in your life, you wouldn't be worried about it." As messed up as that sounds, it's also true. That's why while I do not think that pick up has all the answers and is the right way to go, I don't think the way that society wants us to live is the answer either.

What I meant by wanting someone who is "messed up" is that I want someone who is quirky, lets her emotions out in an interesting (but stable) way, that is fun and creative. Someone who is okay with their faults. I like the idea of serial monogamy because while a good relationship sounds interesting, I know that unless I meet a woman who checks off on enough things that I have no plans of getting married until my thirties. I believe the 20s are a good time to experiment, have fun, date a little.

This video really made me take a hard look at pick up and what it really was all about. I'll probably take another look at it again.

Dating in 2016 is just all kinds of messed up. I really do not know anyone with a healthy relationship.

Paraiyar pretty much took the words right out of my mouth to BeyondShy's question. Most women are turned off by nice guys. It's just not attractive to them. To be fair a lot of "nice guys" are only nice because they want something. Women seem to gravitate towards ******** more nowadays. Not because they are ********, but because they show strength and act like they don't need them.

Feminism started all of this. Before if a guy was decent and had a job he was good to go. Now it's a whole different ball game. Women's expectations are sky high. Men's are too. But women at the end of the day are the ones who say yes or no, men approach. Women I feel want to have their cake and eat it too. And that's hurt dating. Texting has too. Before getting a number used to mean something. But even before I got into pick up I realized that when I got a girl's number and she didn't text me back that numbers mean nothing anymore.

I would love to go to a coffee shop or something, meet a woman, her allow us to really get a chance to know each other and develop something. But that just doesn't happen these days.

Thing is that manipulation is apart of human nature. Seduction is no exception. I am not advocating it. But that is what it is. The great Shakespeare once said the world is a stage and each of us is a player. Meaning we all put on an act depending on who were are around. That's just how it is, pick up or not pick up.

 

[Xpendable]

You're right, everything is manipulation; PUA's are just honest. But still, for me is just an intricate way of seeking validation and putting woman over a pedestal. If you listen to every variation of "self improvement" (including the guy you linked), is always your fault is something fails. Your game wasn't good enough, you didn't open well, you're not being yourself and on and on... Is always your fault so those charlatans can keep selling you conferences and self help books. Is a self-fulfilling prophecy that justifies their sayings like a salesman always has a rhetorical answer to sell you stuff. Why does Pick Up only exists since the last 30 years? Why is only aimed at men? Why it always finds a way to mutate into some other bull honeysuckle concept to re-package itself? (manhood academy, neo-masculinity)

Better watch this than an hour and a half video.

[video=youtube]

 

[VanillaCreme]

To be fair, that works well with some women but a lot react badly which is maybe why some men turn to these techniques. Wouldn't know, don't really want to try it myself.

Neither would I Paraiyar.

I wouldn't either.

If I was a guy.

I really don't know what else to say to the whole "pick up artist" thing. I don't think it's art. I don't think it's the least bit entertaining. If it works for someone, good for them. I know I won't be on the receiving end of it, so I really don't care. But I do think it's a steaming hot load of crap.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

You're right, everything is manipulation; PUA's are just honest. But still, for me is just an intricate way of seeking validation and putting woman over a pedestal. If you listen to every variation of "self improvement" (including the guy you linked), is always your fault is something fails. Your game wasn't good enough, you didn't open well, you're not being yourself and on and on... Is always your fault so those charlatans can keep selling you conferences and self help books. Is a self-fulfilling prophecy that justifies their sayings like a salesman always has a rhetorical answer to sell you stuff. Why does Pick Up only exists since the last 30 years? Why is only aimed at men? Why it always finds a way to mutate into some other bull honeysuckle concept to re-package itself? (manhood academy, neo-masculinity)

Better watch this than an hour and a half video.

[video=youtube]

That video was very interesting. I agree with what he said that pick up is just male competition and you end up becoming submissive to women. And putting a premium on women is not a smart thing. But man this PUAs basically tell you to do this and it hurts you. For a while there even though I was still working hard, I was probably more interested in getting laid. Learning the female psyche. I think for my career choice (actor and filmmaker) it's a good thing. But you do not want to go too deep that rabbit hole I guess.

These pick up companies know what they are doing. By telling you that you are not good enough and you need to get better their business can keep going off of you. I never paid to go to a boot camp. But plenty of people in that community have told me to. Like any cult there are some good qualities. But I don't care for any kind of dogmas.

It's funny they basically say that they are taking women off that pedestal. But it's doing the exact opposite. It's weird though, you go without drugs, drinking, and gambling. But food and sex? Ya kinda need it.

But what as men are we to do if our needs aren't being meant? Right now I am taking a hiatus and just focusing on career stuff. But when I am ready to get back what do I do? Bars and clubs are not the best places to meet high quality women. But there are more women there then there are out and about ready to chat during the day. And there really isn't anything else to do on a Weekend night (I say this sitting at home right now). The fact of the matter is that you do have to approach women in order to have a dating life unless you can meet women through your social circle. But the way that PUAs make you into approach bots (I became one) is bad.

I watched this one guy's video and I agreed with him when he said that cold approaching is the worst way to meet women as it puts you into a bad position. That women love to chase and when you cold approach you chase. That social circles are the best way to date. I agree. But this place is called a lonely life so I lack a good social circle. I am going to focus on building that and meeting women through that when I move to the next city (I was in L.A for two years and I am staying in my home state right now, I plan on moving to New York City in April).

Movies lied to us. We watch a film like Aladdin and think that we are supposed to have our own Jasmine. But that doesn't happen and we are left realizing how unsatisfying life really is.

 

[stork_error]

So write a movie about it, create a scenario and leave the ending blank.. then sit back and let life fill it in for you.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

^That's a little passive don't you think?

I have written a film that I am making in December. It's not about pick up. But modern day relationships. It's been described as beautiful and messed up at the same time.

A good film about pick up would be Roger Dodger. Ends sad. Funny, a film that PUAs love is Spread (critically panned) starring Ashton Kutcher. I've never seen the film myself. But I was told that he displayed some good game. Then I found out what the film was about a guy who doesn't have a job or home and just drifts from one relationship to another preying on women that can provide for him. So basically he is a loser and the pick up community looks up to him because he has good game...

Priorities.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Most women are turned off by nice guys. It's just not attractive to them. To be fair a lot of "nice guys" are only nice because they want something. Women seem to gravitate towards ******** more nowadays. Not because they are ********, but because they show strength and act like they don't need them.

I wouldn't say most women. I know a lot of ladies who want to meet nice guys but just never get the opportunities of meeting these guys or that they are just not compatible personality-wise. Women try too, you know, in looking for nice men.

Feminism started all of this. Before if a guy was decent and had a job he was good to go. Now it's a whole different ball game. Women's expectations are sky high. Men's are too. But women at the end of the day are the ones who say yes or no, men approach. Women I feel want to have their cake and eat it too. And that's hurt dating. Texting has too. Before getting a number used to mean something. But even before I got into pick up I realized that when I got a girl's number and she didn't text me back that numbers mean nothing anymore.

Feminism. This has been misconstrued in so many ways that I won't even start. Feminism doesn't make women's expectations sky high nor make the men less desirable just because they make good money from a good job etc. Feminism didn't start any of this honeysuckle. People just misuse and misunderstand the whole concept of feminism that it is seen as a negative thing to suppor these days.

I think the change in the mindsets of each newer generation makes it harder for men to find women and vice versa. People have high expectations because of the developments made in our lives, environment, society etc. Not because of feminism.

Like I said, there are a lot of women I know who are looking for nice guys.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You're right, everything is manipulation; PUA's are just honest.

Honest...seriously???? PUA is all about lying to get what you want. Lying to yourself about how to get what you want. Lying to yourself about what women want. Either that or everyone who believes PUA is just delusional.

 

[amale]

Whatever happened to someone going up to a woman and introducing themselves and asking them if they'd like to talk? And then sitting down and getting them a coffee or a drink and getting to know them without playing these pointless games.

It's exaclty like if I would start whining "whatever happened to women going up to men and asking if they'd like to fresia?"
Whether someone wants sex or commitment, it's their own business, isn't it?
And if someone wants just sex, than sitting down and making offerings will be a pointless game.

---

Honest...seriously???? PUA is all about lying to get what you want. Lying to yourself about how to get what you want. Lying to yourself about what women want. Either that or everyone who believes PUA is just delusional.

"Lying to yourself about how to get what you want." - wrong. If a technique gets you laid in five minutes and all you want is to get laid, then that's exactly how you get what you want.
"Lying to yourself about what women want." - if you're saying that no woman wants casual sex, I'll give you that. Indeed, no woman wants casual sex. Or, in other words, all women don't want casual sex. You caught my drift, haven't you?

---

The whole point is to make a female want to have consensual sex with you.
So yes, there's nothing wrong with it, indeed.
Also, questionable tactics - like what? Except messing with their drinks, I can't think of anything "questionable".

That negging nonsense on one side and being pushy on the other by touching or even grabbing without any trace of consent. Neither verbal nor non-verbal...yeah, that's pretty much what comes to my mind.

This is too abstract.
Do you have a real life example?

 

[Xpendable]

You're right, everything is manipulation; PUA's are just honest.

Honest...seriously???? PUA is all about lying to get what you want. Lying to yourself about how to get what you want. Lying to yourself about what women want. Either that or everyone who believes PUA is just delusional.

Yes, they are honest because they admit right away what they want. They do it through manipulation? Sure, but I'm no way I denying that; in fact I said everyone manipulates in different ways. How do PUA's lie? Honest question. They apporach a womn and flirt using different methods because they want to attract her, how do they lie?

---

It's exaclty like if I would start whining "whatever happened to women going up to men and asking if they'd like to fresia?"
Whether someone wants sex or commitment, it's their own business, isn't it?
And if someone wants just sex, than sitting down and making offerings will be a pointless game.

---

---

So, it's a game?

---

Feminism. This has been misconstrued in so many ways that I won't even start. Feminism doesn't make women's expectations sky high nor make the men less desirable just because they make good money from a good job etc. Feminism didn't start any of this honeysuckle. People just misuse and misunderstand the whole concept of feminism that it is seen as a negative thing to suppor these days.

It's not solely feminism, but the ideology itself has no way to be defended today, because women have made it what it is: A search for supremacy.

 

[amale]

Xpendable, if you want sex and nothing else, any mating ritual you'll setup around will be just a sort of a game. And pick up games might be more fun than coffee and usual stuff.
Obviously, those games won't be pointless, since they will have specific purpose of getting you laid.
What would be pointless is "getting to know" a female if all you want is sex. This is what I was talking about.
And there's nothing wrong with anything of that.

 

[user 115627]

That negging nonsense on one side and being pushy on the other by touching or even grabbing without any trace of consent. Neither verbal nor non-verbal...yeah, that's pretty much what comes to my mind.

This is too abstract.
Do you have a real life example?

Too abstract? Isn't negging part of the very tactics they suggest to get the attention of a so-called "hard-to-get" woman? And when it comes down to aggressive behavior, I would hate to bring up Julien Blanc again who pushed women's faces to his junk.

 

[Xpendable]

What would be pointless is "getting to know" a female if all you want is sex. This is what I was talking about.
And there's nothing wrong with anything of that.

Then you don't understand Pick Up.

---

When it comes down to aggressive behavior, I would hate to bring up Julien Blanc again who pushed women's faces to his junk.

Who else?

 

[user 115627]

When it comes down to aggressive behavior, I would hate to bring up Julien Blanc again who pushed women's faces to his junk.

Who else?

I know how this is going to turn out...no amount of individual examples, even if these came from tolerated PUA figureheads involved in acts close enough to sexual harassment would be convincing enough to prove my point.

Frankly, I stopped reading about these things a while ago because they're very disheartening, so I don't have other examples. This Roosh V guy I mentioned before wrote an article titled "How to stop rape" which suggested legalizing rape on private property...an article which he later declared as satire. But that's all I can name from the top of my head.

After reading the Red Pill Constitution (which sounds like the ideology some PUAs base their techniques on) I found that I know enough about the manosphere, MRA, RSD and PUA to last a lifetime. They're no better than those radical third-wave feminists who yell rape and patriarchy when men accidentally touch them or the SJWs who wanna string you up for misgendering somebody.