Anyone here ever done pick up?

[bleed_the_freak]

For some section of the populace, there is truth in these psychological observances and cultivated tactics. With these folks, it does work. However, both men and women are equally and absolutely capable of transcending their base animal selves. You just don't find a lot of that transcending in dirty bars and dance clubs.

 

[TheRealCallie]

TheRealCallie: You still do not get it. Logic has nothing to do with attraction at all. When someone spikes your emotions your logical brain is not at work, it's your emotional brain, and you are not controlling that. It's your subconscious acting when you are attracted to someone. You are not even aware of what you are really doing at the time. And like another poster said, free will does not exist. We do not choose who we are attracted to and what we do after that.

No, you aren't getting it. Not everyone is ruled by their emotions. I'm certainly not and I'd wager a good portion of the population isn't either. I am 100% capable of not acting on attraction.
We CAN choose what we do with our attractions. I've done it and I've seen it done by many others. If you can't, that's on you, but I can and I know others who can.

A woman will say on paper they want a guy who is nice and takes care of them. But what they really want is someone that is good looking, fun, exciting, make them feel wanted, and gives them an emotional ride. The thing about nice guys is that they do what's good on paper so the woman logically wants to respond. But they don't emotionally respond therefore she just says "we weren't a good fit." That's why being a "nice guy" does not work.

"Good looking, fun (which is subjective), exciting (also subjective), emotional ride"? lol, no thanks, those things aren't required by me. My ex, who I was with for 12 years was not your typical "good looking" guy. He was also shorter than me. STOP lumping all women into this honeysuckle. I already conceded that SOME (I'd wager a small portion) women might want that, but certainly not all and I seriously doubt most. As bleed_the_freak said, if you're looking in dirty bars and dance clubs, yeah, that's what you'll find. That's not even close to most women.


That said, it's getting difficult to wade through.....this thread. Believe what you want. All women are shallow, easy and low class women who want to be abused and manipulated. We get it, thanks for telling us.


And another thing. You said yourself that attraction is not a choice. What about when you are attracted to a "nerd"? Someone who isn't "exciting" or "good looking." What then? Is this not possible?

 

[Xpendable]

Free will doesn't exists.


Pd: Ska, I'm learning to appreciate your posts. keep it up.

Thanks man. I'm glad you are warming up to my posts and find some value in them. I'm trying to be more positive about dating and such, because I don't think I can succeed as long as I'm negative about it.

But I'm a little confused though, because basically my whole argument in this thread was that free will does exist and that we are always using it, even when it's subconscious. That's why it's so important to really take time to know ourselves instead of just living life on autopilot, so we don't subconsciously steer ourselves away from what we want and towards what we don't.

I think that's the biggest misconception about free will. The lack of free will doesn't mean you don't make your own choices; you do it consciously and in autopilot. What we argue is that all our choices come from somewhere. Every rationalization, thought and decision come from previous experiences, the environment and genetic predisposition. Doesn't matter how unpredictable you think your choices are, you're restrained by all those factors.

---

A woman will say on paper they want a guy who is nice and takes care of them. But what they really want is someone that is good looking, fun, exciting, make them feel wanted, and gives them an emotional ride. The thing about nice guys is that they do what's good on paper so the woman logically wants to respond. But they don't emotionally respond therefore she just says "we weren't a good fit." That's why being a "nice guy" does not work.

You're forgetting something. This distinction doesn't apply to women over certain age (30 - 40). After that they will go for the "unconventionally attractive" and boring guy as long as he has a job and has a bearable personality.

 

[ladyforsaken]

A woman will say on paper they want a guy who is nice and takes care of them. But what they really want is someone that is good looking, fun, exciting, make them feel wanted, and gives them an emotional ride. The thing about nice guys is that they do what's good on paper so the woman logically wants to respond. But they don't emotionally respond therefore she just says "we weren't a good fit." That's why being a "nice guy" does not work.

You're forgetting something. This distinction doesn't apply to women over certain age (30 - 40). After that they will go for the "unconventionally attractive" and boring guy as long as he has a job and has a bearable personality.

Speechless.......

 

[VanillaCreme]

Lol, oh look, a man telling us once again what women really want. It's always so nice to be told what we really want and feel, isn't it, ladies?

Manipulation and lying go hand in hand. 99.9% of the time when you have one, you have the other.

Don't speak for all women if you want to call others for doing the same. Everything and anyone can be de-constructed, stop with this political taboos. This may not be the case, but eventually we will figure out how and why we want what we want; doesn't matter how many billions we are, everything can be deduced and structured into patterns. It's a matter fo time.

She wasn't speaking for all women. That was a sarcastic question.

I don't know how anyone can actually feel like entering the dating world anymore. It's made out to be so complicated. People are so complicated.

My sentiments too.

Me, three. This is why I don't date. The whole "dating" scene never appealed to me in the first place.

Question: What's "negging"? Is it like nagging?

If I may expand on this more, "negging" is short for "negating."

That's what I thought it meant, too. Negating things.

TheRealCallie: You still do not get it. Logic has nothing to do with attraction at all. When someone spikes your emotions your logical brain is not at work, it's your emotional brain, and you are not controlling that. It's your subconscious acting when you are attracted to someone. You are not even aware of what you are really doing at the time. And like another poster said, free will does not exist. We do not choose who we are attracted to and what we do after that.

Well, it was logical to me. I'm not an emotional thinker, nor do I act on emotions very often. It was a very logical thing to me, to be with someone who could compliment me. So the "emotional brain" thing... I get what you're saying, but yeah... Not everyone thinks emotionally all the time. I can't be the only one who doesn't.

You're forgetting something. This distinction doesn't apply to women over certain age (30 - 40). After that they will go for the "unconventionally attractive" and boring guy as long as he has a job and has a bearable personality.

What?

 

[user 115627]

I never said that pick up was all about casual sex, I was talking about the techniques which may get you that. For many, the main point of it is just to have fun and learn how to interoperate with females, whether scoring or not.

I get it, here's the quote that was misleading for me...probably not just for me.

The whole point is to make a female want to have consensual sex with you.
So yes, there's nothing wrong with it, indeed.

I can see you distinguish these two things. And I said it myself that a lot of the followers don't agree it's all about casual sex, but learning to deal with the opposite sex. But leading PUAs and this RSD company seem to promote these techniques and I don't get how they don't equal the "art of pick-up" then since these guys made up these rules, wrote all the manifestos including the Red Pill Theory and so on. And as Hauntyoueveryday described it himself, they make all these promises of turning you into a player...and that's their sales pitch.

 

[VanillaCreme]

The problem with the whole PUA thing is that, somewhere, the lines are blurred. At one point, for someone, it's not just about trying to get someone into bed with them. It turns into a way to deal with the opposite sex, as Rodent says. It's no longer just a way to get women to giggle and fawn over a guy. It's someone who is misguided in the first place turning to something - that because they don't really understand what it's truly about - it becomes something that it's not intended to be.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

Bleed_the_freak: At the end of the day we have been acting the same way for years.

TheRealCallie: Women are emotional creatures. Men are logical creatures. Women go by their emotions, not logic. Just how things are. How old are you? I would say what I said applies more to women my age (20s to early thirties) after that women are more into nice guys with stable jobs. You clearly found something exciting about your ex. Otherwise you would have not been with him for 12 years. I like nerdy girls, I find the way that they act is different from regular girls and that excites me. A smart nerdy girl would be able to act in a way that is seductive and turn off my logical brain and speak to my emotions.

The thing about not having free will is that we make our choices based on our past experiences. None of us really have as much say in the matter as we think. We are really pawns in game that we simply do not understand.

Xpendable: This is very true.

Vanilla: How old are you?? Because my comments are really directed towards younger women. If you are in your thirties or forties you probably can make more logical choices than a 25 year old. But a 25 year old woman almost has no care in the world. If she is attractive she knows that someone will take care of her. She knows that she could get just about any guy she wants. So she will go with whoever fulfills her emotions. When you get older and realize that those types of guys are usually not the marrying type, you tend to think more logically about who you will be with.

But your last comment is right, it did for me become how I deal with the opposite sex. It's a weird deal. If the dating landscape didn't continually get so poor than we wouldn't need all these pick up companies. If women made it easier on men then this wouldn't have started. Like Skafish said, mating is a skill. Not every guy can properly step to a woman. And if you can't do that as a man than you are messed.

 

[TheRealCallie]

LOL, yeah, the honeysuckle's getting a little too deep in here for my tastes. Might wanna be careful on the bullshit generalizations you're spewing out, though.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

^Nah it's the truth. But you just don't want to admit it. It's fine though. Most women do not want to admit it.

 

[SofiasMami]

This type of thread topic always ends in cursing and a flame war.

-Teresa

 

[user 115627]

We are reaching the end of the line here. I can't defend my gendermates as logical creatures to be honest. Most of them are more hormonal than logical, especially in my age range. Which actually makes them no better or worse than women.

We are wading knee-deep in the pseudo-scientific Red Pill Theory now...I wouldn't try to sell it as fact if I were you. It was a surprisingly reasonable exchange so far, considering the topic, but I know this has officially ended now. So...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Most of them are more hormonal than logical, especially in my age range. Which actually makes them no better or worse than women.

I often tell my male friends to stop thinking with their dicks. So yeah....

 

[VanillaCreme]

Vanilla: How old are you?? Because my comments are really directed towards younger women. If you are in your thirties or forties you probably can make more logical choices than a 25 year old. But a 25 year old woman almost has no care in the world. If she is attractive she knows that someone will take care of her. She knows that she could get just about any guy she wants. So she will go with whoever fulfills her emotions. When you get older and realize that those types of guys are usually not the marrying type, you tend to think more logically about who you will be with.

I'm 27, however, I've been with my guy since I was 22, 23. And I don't care for marriage anyway. Never did. My aim/goal was never to get or be married. Also, I've had adult-world cares since before I was out of high school. So, I looked for someone who I could benefit from, and he benefits from me since about all he really ever wants to cook is a boiled hotdog. It was more sensible than anything else.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

If someone is offended by the facts of life that isn't really my fault. The information is out there. A good book is the art of seduction (NOT a pick up book, the writer looks down on pick up). Check out the audiobook on youtube. A lot of good info there.

I do not make the rules. It's just how things are. Most people do not like to face that and this makes them upset.

Rodent what I mean by logical creatures is that we aren't really guided by our emotions as men. We do not make decisions by our emotions as men. Yes we may be guided by our dicks when it comes to sex a lot of the times. But nine times out of tens we think about things before we act. This can be good and this can be bad (in seduction this is actually bad).

I'm 27, however, I've been with my guy since I was 22, 23. And I don't care for marriage anyway. Never did. My aim/goal was never to get or be married. Also, I've had adult-world cares since before I was out of high school. So, I looked for someone who I could benefit from, and he benefits from me since about all he really ever wants to cook is a boiled hotdog. It was more sensible than anything else.

You are a bit mature for your age and have been in a relationship for a good while too. Granted a lot of women you meet in bars and clubs aren't very mature (though I've met some very smart and success women there). But you appear to be the exception now the rule. You know what you want. I think a lot of women do not know what they want.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think a lot of women do not know what they want.

Same can be said about men...

edit: but I'm not even gonna go there.

 

[user 115627]

Rodent what I mean by logical creatures is that we aren't really guided by our emotions as men. We do not make decisions by our emotions as men. Yes we may be guided by our dicks when it comes to sex a lot of the times. But nine times out of tens we think about things before we act. This can be good and this can be bad (in seduction this is actually bad).

As far as I see loneliness and the desire to be with a woman are emotions in themselves...which actually drove you to pick-up.

I think a lot of women do not know what they want.

Same can be said about men.

And you actually admitted that you don't know what you want either. Right at the start.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If someone is offended by the facts of life that isn't really my fault. The information is out there. A good book is the art of seduction (NOT a pick up book, the writer looks down on pick up). Check out the audiobook on youtube. A lot of good info there.

I do not make the rules. It's just how things are. Most people do not like to face that and this makes them upset.

That's the thing though. There are no "rules" and I don't know why so many people think there are rules. There's not. I'm certainly not offended by anything posted in this thread myself. I just think the whole idea is senseless and useless. It may work for some, and that's fine. More power to them. But it's ridiculous in my eyes. I wouldn't bother with any of it, but to each their own.

I'm 27, however, I've been with my guy since I was 22, 23. And I don't care for marriage anyway. Never did. My aim/goal was never to get or be married. Also, I've had adult-world cares since before I was out of high school. So, I looked for someone who I could benefit from, and he benefits from me since about all he really ever wants to cook is a boiled hotdog. It was more sensible than anything else.

You are a bit mature for your age and have been in a relationship for a good while too. Granted a lot of women you meet in bars and clubs aren't very mature (though I've met some very smart and success women there). But you appear to be the exception now the rule. You know what you want. I think a lot of women do not know what they want.

I highly doubt I'm an exception. Just because you don't see it very often, doesn't mean there's only one exception. I can't be the only one, meaning there's more people such as myself when it comes to this. I probably was very mature 10 years ago straight out of high school. But because I had to be. And even if I hadn't, I was never into the club and bar scene either. That was never something I did, or would do.

So, it's not necessarily age, but the person at hand. Because you could just as easily go into a club or bar and find a 40-something-year-old hanging with people half their age.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

Lady: Yeah this is true.

Rodent: Perhaps. But everyone gets lonely.

Vanilla: Correct there are no rules so wrong choice of words there. But I can safely say that this is how things are. Not to toot my own horn. But I've known a lot of women. I can safely say that most of them fit into what I was saying.

By exception I am not saying that you are the only one. But there aren't that many women who do not go to bars and clubs. There are not many women who have been in a relationship that long at such a young age. In today's world you are more likely to meet a party girl (especially where I was for two years in L.A) than a woman that does not go to bars and clubs (which I actually prefer to be honest). And it's tough to meet someone who doesn't engage in those activities as you don't know where they are. The weird thing about that seen is that it is where a lot of women are at. So you have more options in a sense. But usually they are the same kind of people. The types of women that regularly go to those venues are more wild, more into partying and drinking, more superficial, and etc.

I've seen 40 year olds at bars and clubs of course. I've slept with one myself. Those women tend to be in an interesting place in life (divorced).

 

[VanillaCreme]

Vanilla: Correct there are no rules so wrong choice of words there. But I can safely say that this is how things are. Not to toot my own horn. But I've known a lot of women. I can safely say that most of them fit into what I was saying.

By exception I am not saying that you are the only one. But there aren't that many women who do not go to bars and clubs. There are not many women who have been in a relationship that long at such a young age. In today's world you are more likely to meet a party girl (especially where I was for two years in L.A) than a woman that does not go to bars and clubs (which I actually prefer to be honest). And it's tough to meet someone who doesn't engage in those activities as you don't know where they are. The weird thing about that seen is that it is where a lot of women are at. So you have more options in a sense. But usually they are the same kind of people. The types of women that regularly go to those venues are more wild, more into partying and drinking, more superficial, and etc.

I've seen 40 year olds at bars and clubs of course. I've slept with one myself. Those women tend to be in an interesting place in life (divorced).

That's not how things are for many people - as you prove yourself at the end of your post. But you're clearly not going to see any other side (and that's fine - my opinion won't be determined from anyone else's), because for whatever reason, it seems as though you take certain cases and apply a "rule" sticker over them. I honestly don't think you've formed your own opinion on the matter. Instead, you've set yourself in quick-drying cement on the matter.

But best of luck to you with whatever you decide to do in the dating world. I've said it once, I'll say it again: This is why I don't do dating. Too much. Too senseless. Not for me.