cumulus.james
Well-known member
It is only a few weeks until I am homeless now. Something strange happened, I can well imagine sleeping in a shop doorway. Freezing cold, hungry, thirsty, alone, scared. I can imagine it because I was thrown out at 15 and spent my first full night on the streets at 16. It was horrible. I went back both times to an abusive family because it was better than being on the streets. So I go to fantasy, impossible things, I just fantasize all the time about different lives.
My most stupid fantasy is that some time traveller or something appears and takes my consciousness and plants it in the body of a happy boy with a loving family, our experiences merge and I get to have a happy childhood and grow up happy and do all the things I should have done and make none of the mistakes I did. Of course it is a stupid fantasy, but I close my eyes and imagine it.
Can you imagine being a happy and normal 11 yr old boy with loads of friends and a family who loves you? It must be wonderful.
I contacted some charities. They can’t help me. I have no friends or family. Nothing.
What I am most ashamed about is that I think I will cry when I am in that shop doorway. I will be a tramp, a worthless pathetic nothing as it is. But I will be crying.
I wish I had a family who loved me.
I am scared. I am really scared.
My most stupid fantasy is that some time traveller or something appears and takes my consciousness and plants it in the body of a happy boy with a loving family, our experiences merge and I get to have a happy childhood and grow up happy and do all the things I should have done and make none of the mistakes I did. Of course it is a stupid fantasy, but I close my eyes and imagine it.
Can you imagine being a happy and normal 11 yr old boy with loads of friends and a family who loves you? It must be wonderful.
I contacted some charities. They can’t help me. I have no friends or family. Nothing.
What I am most ashamed about is that I think I will cry when I am in that shop doorway. I will be a tramp, a worthless pathetic nothing as it is. But I will be crying.
I wish I had a family who loved me.
I am scared. I am really scared.