Being excluded at a party

[TheHydromancer]

Yesterday on the 2nd of June I went to a kind of party to which my family was invited. It was to celebrate to conformation of a neighbour's daughter.
Of course I had no idea of what to expect, but since the mother of the newly conformed girl said there would be others around my age, I came along.
The whole party was, for me, a nightmare from start to finish.
Although there were four other kids my age, they completely excluded me. When I said "Hello" to them, they looked at me like I had just taken of my clothes. Then they ran off as if I'd never existed.

For four hours I sat on my chair at one of the tables (as there was a buffet), on the brink of tears and wishing I had never come. The only reason I didn't start crying was because my dad came over and talked to me about a number of different topics.

A situation like this one is nothing new for me, but it still hurts every time it happens. I never understand how on earth people can judge me like that by just one simple "Hello". I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with me. Otherwise all those changes I have made in the past to myself would have made a difference.

 

[duff]

Yesterday on the 2nd of June I went to a kind of party to which my family was invited. It was to celebrate to conformation of a neighbour's daughter.
Of course I had no idea of what to expect, but since the mother of the newly conformed girl said there would be others around my age, I came along.
The whole party was, for me, a nightmare from start to finish.
Although there were four other kids my age, they completely excluded me. When I said "Hello" to them, they looked at me like I had just taken of my clothes. Then they ran off as if I'd never existed.

For four hours I sat on my chair at one of the tables (as there was a buffet), on the brink of tears and wishing I had never come. The only reason I didn't start crying was because my dad came over and talked to me about a number of different topics.

A situation like this one is nothing new for me, but it still hurts every time it happens. I never understand how on earth people can judge me like that by just one simple "Hello". I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with me. Otherwise all those changes I have made in the past to myself would have made a difference.

I went through many situations like that when I was younger. I remember this New Years Eve party I went to. Within 30 seconds of arriving the whole room was laughing at me because some twat told this joke about me.

Some people are just not 'party people', some people are targets for whatever reason. In a room full of people you will always find someone who will give the weakest person there a hard time. I would avoid such events in the future. If they are making you unhappy, just don't go. Go and do something you enjoy doing. Remember you didn't do anything wrong. It was the others who were unfriendly !

 

[TheHydromancer]

Unfortunately for me, this was an invitation regarding the entire family. It would have quite possibly been insulting towards the hosts of the party if I hadn't gone.
At least that's what my parents said afterwards...

 

[Sci-Fi]

Well I hate to say this but that can be pretty typical for kids your age, so try not to take it too seriously. Good for your dad noticing you needed some company though, that was nice of him.

 

[Naleena]

Some people are just not 'party people', me people are targets for whatever reason. In a room full of people you will always find someone who will give the weakest person there a hard time. I would avoid such events in the future. If they are making you unhappy, just don't go. Go and do something you enjoy doing. Remember you didn't do anything wrong. It was the others who were unfriendly !

I think the one making the joke at anothers expense is the weakest one in the room.

 

[SomeoneSomewhere]

Well, this has happened to me too many times. When I was a wee-bit younger, either I would try to get included or I would at least hope to. When I'd get rejected, one thing I'd do is start hanging out with younger kids who live around (slightly younger, say 3-4 years). Now, by the time the party ended, I would get invited to play games with those kids and just to kill boredom, I would accept the invitation.

When I'd come home, my mom would bash me for playing around with kids at a party and not behaving appropriately for my age.

So I just stopped going to parties altogether. Now the only parties I think of going to are familial weddings where I know someone I can be comfortable would be around (like my grandparents' siblings).

 

[9006]

I'd try not and worry about it, by the sounds of it you're too mature for them anyway.

 

[VanillaCreme]

When I said "Hello" to them, they looked at me like I had just taken of my clothes. Then they ran off as if I'd never existed.

...

I never understand how on earth people can judge me like that by just one simple "Hello". I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with me. Otherwise all those changes I have made in the past to myself would have made a difference.

I don't think they judged you. I think they just took off without another thought, good or bad. You could have followed them. You chose not to. Either they already knew each other enough, or they just didn't care what they were doing.

That being said, I wouldn't have minded (personally) sitting, observing things by myself. Maybe not for four hours though... That was kind of long to be sitting there at all, alone or not.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I've just learned not to bother about it whenever this happens to me.. whenever I attend events or functions with the relatives.

 

[Hearmenow2012]

You can't be liked by everybody so there's always going to be people like even if they weren't judging you. I agree that it sounds like you are more mature than they are and that you know what you want, but it isn't that simple to take action. I would have probably sat there for a bit and I would have tried to make small talk when the situation arose, but if it got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore then I probably would have left and attempted to find something to make me happy.

 

[Masque]

Some people simply aren't approachable or in the mood to meet new people. It's rude to simply run off, but there you have it. That happened to me the one time I attended a convention and even the friend I was with thought the person in question acted in poor taste.

 

[LoneKiller]

There isn't a **** thing wrong with you. It's people like that who end up being ignored themselves later in life then have the audacity to wonder why. Unfortunately at that age most kids are rude beyond belief. Suck it up and rest easy in the knowledge that not everyone is like that. Don't let it make you bitter and prevent you from trying to be social in the future. You are better than that.

 

[TheHydromancer]

There isn't a **** thing wrong with you. It's people like that who end up being ignored themselves later in life then have the audacity to wonder why. Unfortunately at that age most kids are rude beyond belief. Suck it up and rest easy in the knowledge that not everyone is like that. Don't let it make you bitter and prevent you from trying to be social in the future. You are better than that.

It doesn't make me bitter. Just depressed.

 

[LoneKiller]

There isn't a **** thing wrong with you. It's people like that who end up being ignored themselves later in life then have the audacity to wonder why. Unfortunately at that age most kids are rude beyond belief. Suck it up and rest easy in the knowledge that not everyone is like that. Don't let it make you bitter and prevent you from trying to be social in the future. You are better than that.

It doesn't make me bitter. Just depressed.

Depression can often lead to bitterness at the world in general.

 

[TheHydromancer]

Depression can often lead to bitterness at the world in general.

I'm past the faze of bitterness. It's no use being angry at the world if it doesn't change anything. And in my experience it hasn't.

Lucky for me I live in two worlds; one is this one, the other is Utica.

 

[Rosebolt]

I can understand the way this must've made you feel. It's a shame this happened to you.

As i don't know this group of people, i can only make educated guesses. Since i'm bored to honeysuckle, i will do that.

Considering their age, and the fact that they already were with a (small) group, it seems to me that they were happy with the way things went. At their age, the world of people generally revolves around themselves. If they were satisfied with the group of people they were socialising with, and didn't need to change that, then they will harshly enforce that.

This has nothing to do with you, and, regardles of wether i'm right or (most likely) wrong, you shouldn't take the way they reacted to your presence personally.

Still, i feel for you, having to sit there for such a long time. It brings back some bad memories from high school. How are you dealing with the situation now? I hope you're alright.

 

[TheHydromancer]

I can understand the way this must've made you feel. It's a shame this happened to you.

As i don't know this group of people, i can only make educated guesses. Since i'm bored to honeysuckle, i will do that.

Considering their age, and the fact that they already were with a (small) group, it seems to me that they were happy with the way things went. At their age, the world of people generally revolves around themselves. If they were satisfied with the group of people they were socialising with, and didn't need to change that, then they will harshly enforce that.

This has nothing to do with you, and, regardles of wether i'm right or (most likely) wrong, you shouldn't take the way they reacted to your presence personally.

Still, i feel for you, having to sit there for such a long time. It brings back some bad memories from high school. How are you dealing with the situation now? I hope you're alright.

You're assumptions about the people who excluded me were correct, in my opinion.

I'm fine, despite having been depressed about it for a while.
I never had their friendship, therefore I never lost it, and I don't believe in mourning things I never lost.

 

[UGLYDUCKLING]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that..It happened to me way too often to be honest.People act like I'm invisible or probably am less significant and I actually felt that bad! I can relate to what you said...That's why I try my best to bother anybody being third wheeled or sitting a lone...I'm pretty sure you're an awesome sensitive person..Don't think any less of yourself...

 

[Wannabe poet]

Always happens