jean-vic
Well-known member
I recently lost my Grandmother. She and I have been tremendously close since I was born, to the point that she was a second mother in my eyes. She died a peaceful death surrounded by family. I had a moment when I last walked out of her home, knowing I wouldn't see her again, but that has been about it. I haven't cried since, and I don't think I'm showing any outward signs of grief, but I know that it has affected me.
Her death has made me question different elements of my life. Am I pursuing the right career? What is the nature of reality? A big question that has been plaguing me is my relationship. I've been with the same woman for over a year now, and it's been fine. I'm naturally a very apathetic person so don't evaluate things in terms of good and bad. Things are what they are. However, since my Nan died, I've been wondering if this is the right thing for me. There was another woman a few years back who was interested in me, but I had no confidence and never took the plunge. Now, I can't stop thinking about her and wondering whether I should contact her again. Don't get me wrong, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt the girl I'm with, but if this isn't who I'm supposed to be with, I shouldn't maintain a lie. I have a lot of doubt over my feelings for her. I have since we got together, really, but I repressed it all. Now, it has surfaced majorly again, and I can't help but feel that I'm doing her a disservice by keeping this relationship going. That said, it would kill her if I ended it. She says I'm the love of her life, and that she'd never find someone like me again. That is one of the factors in my repression. I'm not expecting anything with that other woman because she has moved on and has a child, although she is a single mother. I'm just wondering if my Nan's death was a wake up call, or this is just some strange grief reaction that will fade.
Any advice?
Her death has made me question different elements of my life. Am I pursuing the right career? What is the nature of reality? A big question that has been plaguing me is my relationship. I've been with the same woman for over a year now, and it's been fine. I'm naturally a very apathetic person so don't evaluate things in terms of good and bad. Things are what they are. However, since my Nan died, I've been wondering if this is the right thing for me. There was another woman a few years back who was interested in me, but I had no confidence and never took the plunge. Now, I can't stop thinking about her and wondering whether I should contact her again. Don't get me wrong, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt the girl I'm with, but if this isn't who I'm supposed to be with, I shouldn't maintain a lie. I have a lot of doubt over my feelings for her. I have since we got together, really, but I repressed it all. Now, it has surfaced majorly again, and I can't help but feel that I'm doing her a disservice by keeping this relationship going. That said, it would kill her if I ended it. She says I'm the love of her life, and that she'd never find someone like me again. That is one of the factors in my repression. I'm not expecting anything with that other woman because she has moved on and has a child, although she is a single mother. I'm just wondering if my Nan's death was a wake up call, or this is just some strange grief reaction that will fade.
Any advice?