big scary step

[Hope_Reigns]

After less than 2 months split, and after promising us time to see what happens. My ex informs me that he's seeing someone else. Tells me he'll always love me, that he knows we could've worked, but isn't sure if he could be happy enough (he was happy just not super mega happy cause we had a few problems that he refused to talk through).

I tried for a while to talk to him, to salvage things, to get him to work through these things with me, or at least try to see if we can. He refused. Apparently some stranger is a better risk than the girl who he's loved for 9 years, and who's been his best friend as well) So I finally stopped trying and took a very scary step.

I told him that him saying he loves me, and saying we're important to him, means nothing when not backed by actions. That his actions said the opposite. Then I told him that when he decides to treat us better and take us seriously, he knows where I am, then blocked his IMs (he has my phone number)

I hope with all my heart that he does wake up, and shows he doesn't want us lost, but I'm trying not to hold my breath. If he doesn't get in touch with me, I guess it's over

I'll always love him, so so much.. but I can't just stand there and be disregarded like meaningless junk anymore. I just can't. *sighs and walks away*

 

[Punisher]

if he's with someone else right now you cant take him back, if he loved you he would'nt even look at another girl.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's normal...considering.

mmm, Do you own a surf board ?
Maybe you have an E ticket pass ?

 

[somniloquy]

Hope, I think you did the right thing in the situation. I hope that things work out for you.

 

[Ithought]

I am pride of you.
there is nothing to say.
He is seeing other girl.
I don’t like that idea he has you as a back up.
Better not face him with his new girl friend it will be killing you.

remember that that is not your fault in case you think it is your fault.

Sometimes it , love, just doesn't work.

 

[Haineko]

First things first, ouch.

It is very sad to hear that things ended this way after 9 years.
But sometimes, people just do completely irrational stuff like
forgetting their 9 - year old partner to go with a complete
stranger who may not even be with them for 2 months...it is sad,
but us human beings are like that.

That being said, you finally have handled things in a quite admirable way. Most of us know that words mean nothing, as words are all that actually has some value...but actually telling that to someone we love, now that is a big scary step as you put it. Many people wouldn´t be able to take such a step, but you were and I congratulate you for it.

Things between you two are not the same anymore, and never will be. Just as he did, you must move on with your life and someday, somewhere, someone else will appear. There is a saying that I like to believe in, which goes like this: "All failed relationships are actually a sign given to us by god, so we can truly appreciate the right person when we find him/her." I hope it makes you feel better, even if only 1%

Cheers =)

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Just know it's going to be an emotional and mental roller coater ride.
They come in waves.

Embrace the pain or process as best you can.

it's okay to feel what you feel.
it's okay to be angery.
it's okay to hurt.
It's okay to be confuse

There's different stages a person will go through..
You'll feel like you don't know who you are or have idenity crises
sometimes.

Allow yourself to grieve for your lost.
It's a death of a relationship. Letting Go is a porcess.
Allow yourself to grieve 30-45 days..set limits so it
dosn't turn chornic


A part of you will want to turn back or resist the change

Try not to make any major decisions..don't take anything so serious
ATM.

Surround yourself by beauty and positive people.
A safe enviornment.
Talk and write about anything and everything to feel.

Remove anything and everything that will remind you of him.
throw it away or store it in a box and keep it out of your site.
This minized the re triggers of emotions.
You will even notice a part of you resist removing these objects
out of your life.

Don't listen to the radio or pop music for a while.
Love songs will retrigger a lot of mental and emotions.
Listen to songs without words for a while.

Don't watch the TV for a while..especailly the new..bad news sells
you're mind will latch on to the negative and stress of the News.


Love yourself and formost.

Take care of yourself..the basic
Try to eat, sleep or get rest.
It's very stressful when going through a long term relationship break up

the average time is 6 months to a year...depending on how much
you vaule the relationship.

Acceptence is a son of a *****...but acceptence will also set you free and shine as a light
through the fog of the emotional and mental roller coasters as you take steps forward.

Be well.

 

[Hope_Reigns]

Thanks, and it is hard, and I go through waves from angry, to numb to just crumbled.. I haven't spoken to him yet, but he sent me an email this morning hugging me and saying he hopes I'm ok... it was so hard not to answer and figuratively slap away his hand.. but of course I'm not ok. While I'm glad he cares enough to be concerned, it'll take a lot more than that :/ I do hate making him worry, but I'm not going to give in at this point.

 

[Cherrytree]

if he's with someone else right now you cant take him back, if he loved you he would'nt even look at another girl.

You're wrong there.
I find myself looking at other guys sometimes and I've been with someone for over a year. Nothing wrong with just looking.
And actually, it's not impossible to love two people at once.

Hope_Reigns, you have taken a very difficult step, but it was definitely the right one. It's very brave of you, I commend you for that. It's good that you realize you deserve something better than the way he's been treating this relationship.

I hope it all gets better for you!