Cancer and Lonliness

[Lost Drifter]

Sorry if this sounds a bit morbid but I've just been diagnosed with Lung Cancer in addition to a second brain tumour (go me) and was wondering if anyone else on here is dealing with a similar illness in addition to lonliness.

I find a big problem with a lot of cancer support sites is that people are often older (I'm 34) and more stable in life, with families and support networks around them. No one seems to understand what it's like going at this alone.

Anyway please PM me if interested

 

[Sci-Fi]

Awe wow man really sorry to hear about that. Never been through anything like that but just wanted to say to hang in there and will hope for the best for you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Dude.. **** it. I'm sorry.

I don't have experience with lung cancer or brain tumour.. but I have experienced other cancers. I'm not older than you and not at all stable in life either. Loneliness? I feel at peace with it lately. Everything seems to frustrate me so much that all I want to do is be alone.

We can chat more about it. Sigh, I'm really really sorry you're going through this though.

 

[LonelySutton]

Gosh I am really sorry to hear that. My only relating story is that my mom got cancer and I was young 34 (at the time) and absolutely no one seemed able to understand what I was going through. No one knew what to say.. and worse, no one ever thought such a thing so if it would come out they would be overcome with sadness and get very quiet.

The story of my life is that my experiences don't match with my age.

 

[Peaches]

very bad news... let's not get all very quiet, let's talk about this

 

[Sometimes]

I am so, so sorry that this is happening to you. I am older, and while I have had family members with cancer they were much older. I wish I could help you with that, but I will gladly be an ear here for you. And whatever you wisdom you share with us will not be forgotten. It will be used to help others.

 

[benj]

Really sorry to hear you're going through this, I work in a hospice and meet other peopl in similar situation so be certain you're not alone.

Are you getting counselling or social work support?

 

[Danielle]

I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. Please know you can come here to talk anytime. Check out the chat room too...there are usually people in there.

 

[Lost Drifter]

Thank you for all the kind words everyone and again, I apologise if I've come across as a downer. I'm not ready to see myself as being a victim just yet (I've been reluctant to tell people as it feels like I'm automatically given a death sentence) and I don't want to feel sorry for myself. I have cancer, it happens.

That said, it's an incredibly surreal experience. Doctors trying to tell me I have cancer without saying I have cancer. Support workers avoiding me because while they can talk to a 70 year old man about his health just fine, they don't know how to help someone younger. Not to mention having pink wee for a few days after chemo, it's fun at first but gets weird after a while! Plus I'd do anything to be able to taste food again.

Again thank you everyone, you are all wonderfully kind.

 

[Oldyoung]

Sorry to hear about your condition. I wish you the best of luck with the treatment.

I can't relate to your situation and help you in that regard, but if you just want some distraction then you could come hang around in chat. Maybe you'll have something in common with us regulars in there.

 

[Tiina63]

I had a brain aneurysm 3 years ago and as I have no family, I had little support. So although I am older than you by 23 years, the feelings of loneliness and the vulnerability of having to cope on my own with a serious illness were the same. It has left me very much with the feeling that if I died, it wouldn't really matter that much to anyone else, that there is no one I can rely on to support me at really bad times. My heart goes out to you. It does seem very unfair that some people have large support networks while others have to go it alone.
Is there a local cancer support group you could join? Meeting others with the same condition can really help. It might make you feel less alone. Even if you are the only one in such a group with no support network of family, having cancer can be a very isolating experience emotionally and you might find that others share your feelings of loneliness because they might be putting on a brave face in front of their families. Also, they may be able to suggest other sources of support, such as help with shopping etc.
Being so alone does make serious illness far harder to deal with and I hope you come here a lot so we can help by listening and understanding. Also, please don't think that no one cares if you make it or not. We all care-you matter a lot to us.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm sorry to read about your experience Tiina. :\
I do hope you're doing much much better now.

Also, I hope Lost Drifter's holding up all right. Haven't seen him around here lately. Sending positive well wishes to you, LD.