Cant keep going on

[Lebowski]

it looks like another sleepless night in this life of mine. i feel so pathetic all the time and have constant depression. this stems from having no friends at all. i'm a 20 year old college student. I just basically feel miserable that i have never had a girlfriend in high school and my life is in extreme danger of turning into a certain judd apatow film. i understand that this is not uncommon and many here are in the same situation. however not being alone in this situation doesnt ease my tension. my non-sociable status comes from a constant doubt that anyone will ever accept me. i have limited interests(sports) and literally draw blanks in any other area. i know it is common to throw letters ar everything but i believe i gave a disorder called GAD....although not diagnosed with it which i guess is a huge problem in itself. i'm always worrying and since i started having it my social life has been dwindling ever since. i feel by being what i am that i am letting down my family...i'm constantly saying to myself that i hope my brother(24) finds a wife, which he will so that my dad can at least think one of his kids turned out ok.

so basically here are a few things that i'd like to know
1.) how can i better myself....going back to the limited interest..is it still possible for me to find different outlets without friends

2.) has anyone have a proper solution for GAD?

3.)how do some of you deal with loneliness and shyness?(i literally have no one)

4.) after reading this do you see any hope for me?

also, not that it matters but i'm not ugly(typical i know) and had one relationship in 9th grade.

thanks for any responses on this long dragged out post. from lurking around the past few weeks i can tell that you are all great people.

 

[Punisher]

3.)how do some of you deal with loneliness and shyness?(i literally have no one)

A little bit alcohol always helped me with my shyness, but that's a stupid short-term (or sometimes life-long and dangerous) solution to this annoying problem.

4.) after reading this do you see any hope for me?

It depends on if you have hope yourself. People can say 'you're hopeless cause', but only you know if that's true or not. Have hope and keep trying new things to see if you can make a positive change. Keep trying and don't give up, because it might take years, but only you can make it happen.

 

[Van Hooligan X]

it looks like another sleepless night in this life of mine. i feel so pathetic all the time and have constant depression. this stems from having no friends at all. i'm a 20 year old college student. I just basically feel miserable that i have never had a girlfriend in high school and my life is in extreme danger of turning into a certain judd apatow film. i understand that this is not uncommon and many here are in the same situation. however not being alone in this situation doesnt ease my tension. my non-sociable status comes from a constant doubt that anyone will ever accept me. i have limited interests(sports) and literally draw blanks in any other area. i know it is common to throw letters ar everything but i believe i gave a disorder called GAD....although not diagnosed with it which i guess is a huge problem in itself. i'm always worrying and since i started having it my social life has been dwindling ever since. i feel by being what i am that i am letting down my family...i'm constantly saying to myself that i hope my brother(24) finds a wife, which he will so that my dad can at least think one of his kids turned out ok.

so basically here are a few things that i'd like to know
1.) how can i better myself....going back to the limited interest..is it still possible for me to find different outlets without friends

2.) has anyone have a proper solution for GAD?

3.)how do some of you deal with loneliness and shyness?(i literally have no one)

4.) after reading this do you see any hope for me?

also, not that it matters but i'm not ugly(typical i know) and had one relationship in 9th grade.

thanks for any responses on this long dragged out post. from lurking around the past few weeks i can tell that you are all great people.

1. a tactic you could use is look at yourself as a different POV, would you want to befriend yourself, if not, why?
once you realise what faults you can work on, work on them, them you'll have a greater possiblity of people wanting to know u

2. sorry i'm not into illnesses so no i don't

if you want to know a fear or how humans react to certain situations PM me lol

3. how do i deal with it?
3 ways:
1. 'whine' lol
2. i become the vanity instead of normal me (selective schizophrenia lol)

imma weird what can i say
3. having something to eat sometimes helps, although a meal only for me, ice cream just makes me more depressed lol
4.well i'm glad you don't believe disney's 'happily ever after' BS but yes, i still feel that anyone can get what they want, even you


(((lebowski)))

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well,..for me

I know all the honeysuckle is in my head...

I had to stop comparing myself with other people..this releave some of my aniexties.

I had to learn to stop beating up on myself no matter what...which releave another layer of my depression.

Then I learn to embrace my anxities for whatever it was..the more I welcome it...the more it dosn't stay
Then I accept it for whatever it was..I stopped running away from my anxieties.
The more I processed it...the more I got sick and tired of it. I also recognized those feeling
for what they are. My feelings won't kill me. I'm not my feelings...I just feel them.
Then I learn how to let go of it. They pass. Sometimes sooner than other times.

Other times I learned to make a consious dicision to be happy no matter what.
I practice doing it 5 mins at a time. An hour at a time or a day at a time.
The more I practice doing this..I more I became aware that my anxiety was mostly
from my mind being on auto pilot of negative thoughts and feelings.

I wore a rubber band around my wrist for 6 months...everytime I go into negative
thinking..I snap the rubber band to snap myself out of that auto pilot thinking.
I cacth myself faster and faster.

I also learn to meditate...becuase it's just stuff that gose spinning in my mind.
Through meditations..I've pretty much let go of whatever gose spinning in my
mind. Eventually I get to the piont of being in the moment and not in my head.
When I'm the moment...I usually don't feel any anxiety.

I don't drink or use drugs..Alcohol is a depresent..and I had depression to begin with.
That's just like pouring more fuel into the fire and making it worse for me..

Drugs...mmm that's totally unacceptiable for me.

I work on my self-esteem, staying possitive, loving myself, accepting myself.

I set simple goals I can achive such as taking a walk..going outside more often.
Excercizing...whatever accomplishiments..no matter how big or small , I priase
myself or pat myself on the back..This builds my self confidence and self esteem.

If I chose to belive in a HP to help me get through this life..if that's what it takes for me ...then that's what it takes.
And I don't really give a fresia whether other people belive it or not...
This is the very basic of "I HAve a chioce" and self-confidence/esteem building.
Being able to make decisions for my self and being responsible for it. Not comparing myself with others.

I also watch my diet..Eat heathier.

Then I just throw myself out there. I get rejected. Poeple treat me like honeysuckle.
People treat me nice. People care about me...Oh well..I take it all like a grain of salt.

There's not a silver bullet. But I make progress everyday..Sometimes it feels like
it slow as a snail. Other times I make leaps.

Ultimately I know... , I'm responible for my happiness and my life.
Well..I'm about the only person that knows me best and knows what gose in my head.
I'm the only person that can change or not change my mind.
I'm repsonsible for what I think, what I feel and how I live.
That's what I did for 6 months. I practice telling myself every morning as I get up..
"I'm responisble"...It's a great feeling to have power over my life again.
It's more natural now...When my mind gose into auto pilot today. It's in "I'm responsible and I love myself " auto pilot.
When I'm responsible the blame game stops.

I don't worry about whatever the hell is going on in tembucktoo or whatever the hell Al Gore and Obamama is doing.
I focus on me for today...I have more impac on myself than anyone. Obamama is not going to save my ass nor is JC.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

2.) has anyone have a proper solution for GAD?

That is a medical condition. I'd advise you to see a doctor. My friend's husband has a pretty severe case of it, but has found some relief with medication.

3.)how do some of you deal with loneliness and shyness?(i literally have no one)

That's the $50,000 question, isn't it?

Although I am not shy, I am lonely, I can be lonely even when I am in a crowd. At the heart of it, I feel disconnected from others. I try to force myself to be with other people in the hope that it'll help.

4.) after reading this do you see any hope for me?

I think that there is always hope. The fact that you are trying to engage people here versus shutting yourself off 100% is a good sign.

 

[Divinitywolf]

Sleepless nights...something I can relate to.

Yeah there is always hope. You posted on this forum instead of sitting in your room feeling sorry for yourself, filling your mind with dark thoughts.
That shows a certain level of motivation to get through it.

 

[Lebowski]

It depends on if you have hope yourself. People can say 'you're hopeless cause', but only you know if that's true or not.

this is very very true and what i believe is the very thing that is holding me back. it has gotten insane. whenever i talk to someone i find myself caring if they are interested to no end. i'm cutting caffeine from my diet(since this problem started i guess i've been drinking iced tea a lot). i'm also going to start running...maybe get them endorfems flowing.

at another board i've been to there is a guy that just got his first girlfriend at 25....so i guess that there is plenty of time i will work on bettering myself.

 

[Naval_Fluff]

It depends on if you have hope yourself. People can say 'you're hopeless cause', but only you know if that's true or not.

this is very very true and what i believe is the very thing that is holding me back. it has gotten insane. whenever i talk to someone i find myself caring if they are interested to no end. i'm cutting caffeine from my diet(since this problem started i guess i've been drinking iced tea a lot). i'm also going to start running...maybe get them endorfems flowing.

at another board i've been to there is a guy that just got his first girlfriend at 25....so i guess that there is plenty of time i will work on bettering myself.

No one's ever a hopless cause...as long as you're breathing, you can do someting about the state you're in. Not having a girlfriend isn't a bad thing, it just means you haven't found someone you feel strongly enough about to nurture that kind of relationship. Personally, I've had two realy relationships in my short 17 years of life, and each one has ended badly. I think to myself, I could never feel this way again, but lo and behold, another girl comes and steasl my heart

I know how you feel when you say you're worried about whether they care or not. I've gone through the same problem with many of my friends, wondering if they really give a honeysuckle or not. Just think, if they didn't really care, would they even hang out with you? Apparently they want you around, so they must care for some reason Either way, just keep your chin up man! Most peple breakdown before they break through.

 

[androidhippy]

1.) how can i better myself....going back to the limited interest..is it still possible for me to find different outlets without friends

It sounds to me like you're abasing yourself by not counting your interests that you think "regular" people wouldn't appreciate. There are always people out there who can share any interest you might have, the problem is finding them and accepting them as they are. I have a friend who spends her time playacting the Firefly episodes with a handful of enthusiasts, it's something that few people would even know about but she managed to find these guys and accept them as neat people to hang out with. Most people are born with cookie cutter minds that compel them all to love the same things: sports for boys, clothes and relationships for girls. Those few of us who couldn't care less about the mainstream rubbish have a tougher time, but in the end we're far more interesting people.

2.) has anyone have a proper solution for GAD?

Drugs (though I'm sure there are cognitive methods as well). I have a flavor of an anxiety disorder myself, and I find that a glass of wine every now and then is useful to steel my resolve, and a klonopin is a wonderful safety net to stop an anxiety attack. You have to be mindful of the abuse potential, but as long as you act responsibly it does vastly improve one's quality of life.

3.)how do some of you deal with loneliness and shyness?(i literally have no one)

When I'm feeling lonely but don't really want to spend the time to find and hang out with people I find simple things help. Having a pet is essential, pets provide a simplistic but endearing emotional feedback that feels good. They also make you feel needed and appreciated on some basic level. Turning the TV on in the background helps now and then, not as something to watch but just to sooth my subconscious mind by tricking it into thinking there are people in the room. A change of venue to a public place can also help. If I'm lonely but want to read I'll go to Barnes&Noble, get a chai tea, and will sit on the couch with the 30 other people who all act like me and are doing the same thing as me.

4.) after reading this do you see any hope for me?

Absolutely! You just need to find your own sense of balance.