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budsalinger

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May 22, 2010
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Location
Northern New Jersey
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here rambling to you people about nothing at all. Maybe someone can relate tho. It's 4:15 in the morning and I'm woken up by thoughts of my ex-wife. I'm crying. I cannot sleep and I don't know what to do. I wish I was anyone else right now. ******* ***** broke me. Broke our family. Is probably ******* the dude she left me for and/or laying in his arms right now so happy and all I want to do is hurt myself and smoke myself into oblivion. oh my fresia I need help. gotta go be a troll..... thanks for a place to vent/ramble/feel sorry for myself
 
*hugs budsalinger*

don't worry you're not a troll :)

I'm very sorry that things did not work out with your wife

I'm up late too it's about 4am here.

Do you have a regular sleep schedule that ussualy helps excercising during the day

or some allergy or cold medicine will do the trick

i sense are you a salinger fan from your screen name i read the catchedr and the rye a few years ago it was pretty good
 
lol actually no I'm not a salinger fan. I'm gonna look him/her/that up though as I have no idea what that is. I call myself Budsalinger when I make music. Budsalinger is one.

I should have a regular sleep schedule but I don't. Sometimes I fall asleep at 10pm other times 3 am. I used to be able to fall asleep anywhere anytime. Since my breakup I need to either smoke myself to sleep if I want to be asleep earlier, or else I fall asleep when my eyes refuse to stay open. She's behind my eyelids. I love her so much I hate myself.
 
budsalinger said:
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here rambling to you people about nothing at all. Maybe someone can relate tho. It's 4:15 in the morning and I'm woken up by thoughts of my ex-wife. I'm crying. I cannot sleep and I don't know what to do. I wish I was anyone else right now. ******* ***** broke me. Broke our family. Is probably ******* the dude she left me for and/or laying in his arms right now so happy and all I want to do is hurt myself and smoke myself into oblivion. oh my fresia I need help. gotta go be a troll..... thanks for a place to vent/ramble/feel sorry for myself

I am sorry. Truly, I have been there, though in my case it was agonizing over how my husband could have left me for an unprincipled home-wrecking whore. How he could have THE NERVE to be so happy with such a ***** after he ******* shattered my life. So, yes, I understand the rage and the despair AND the desire for self-torture.

It does get better, I promise you. In the meantime, vent away.

(((budsalinger)))
 
i have the same issue with not being able to sleep because of crap on my mind. i can relate to that my friend because i have no idea what to either.
 
this world is really not safe. its very hard to trust anybody anymore specially if get cheated by life partner.
why they do something like that ?? is it our human nature ? do we got bored quickly ?

anyway my friend try to get busy with anything and in the bed , try to watch comedy movie or TV show like family guy, it will help u to sleep without getting into negative thoughts.
 
reki said:
this world is really not safe. its very hard to trust anybody anymore specially if get cheated by life partner.
why they do something like that ?? is it our human nature ? do we got bored quickly ?

anyway my friend try to get busy with anything and in the bed , try to watch comedy movie or TV show like family guy, it will help u to sleep without getting into negative thoughts.

yea i have to be watching something until i am literally dozing off otherwise my mind will wander way too much and keep me up. usually i dont start falling asleep until after 5am. it sucks.
 
thanks for the responses. haven't checked back in a couple of days.

edgecrusher it seems we have something in common. I usually cannot fall asleep unless I don't know I'm falling asleep. By which I mean I will be watching tv one minute and the next thing I know it's 6:30am and I'm jolted awake usually by a dream of my now ex wife with someone else. uggg life... at least I get to have my son tonight through tuesday morning. He's my true salvation.
 
budsalinger said:
thanks for the responses. haven't checked back in a couple of days.

edgecrusher it seems we have something in common. I usually cannot fall asleep unless I don't know I'm falling asleep. By which I mean I will be watching tv one minute and the next thing I know it's 6:30am and I'm jolted awake usually by a dream of my now ex wife with someone else. uggg life... at least I get to have my son tonight through tuesday morning. He's my true salvation.

I can relate to the feeling not falling asleep. Due to a lot of stuff going on in my life i just hate the moment i need to go to sleep. Gives me too much time to think..... I often just read and hope I fall asleep that way.

But anyway Budsalinger sorry to hear things didn't work out with your wife. It's hard to believe but it will get better eventually for you.
Hope you enjoy your days with your son - you both deserve the time together.
 

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