Cant stand hearing about it anymore

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Fvantom

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
315
Reaction score
1
Location
Orlando Florida
Here I am again, another bad day, another rant. I just cant stand having to listen to everyones good memories, how much everyone loves their friends...it makes me feel more lonely, everyone says "go make your own memories" with who, myself? I have my band but whenever I hang out with them, I always feel like the new guy, theyve all known each other for years and I only met them a few months ago and Im still having trouble fitting in with all of them...and hearing aout all their good memories just kills my mood and motivation.
 
Fvantom said:
Here I am again, another bad day, another rant. I just cant stand having to listen to everyones good memories, how much everyone loves their friends...it makes me feel more lonely, everyone says "go make your own memories" with who, myself? I have my band but whenever I hang out with them, I always feel like the new guy, theyve all known each other for years and I only met them a few months ago and Im still having trouble fitting in with all of them...and hearing aout all their good memories just kills my mood and motivation.

Hey there,

I can understand what you're saying completely. For me, what gets me down is people talking about how great their relationships are, especially if they're really smug about it. Watching them fumble with each other in public is equally depressing :rolleyes:

Plus everyone else I know at my age has done some kind of epic world travels by now...I haven't. So hearing about that makes me feel like a loser too.

I'm finding what's making it better is to start trying to appreciate what they did as a good experience for both me and them.

If someone I know is talking to me about his trip up a mountain and how awesome it was, or a good time with his buddies in the past, that means that he's trying to engage with me, perhaps even include me in that close circle of people. That can only be a good thing :)

I'm also trying to appreciate that other people are happy. Before I got the whole "Omg, I really want friends/a girlfriend/to feel normal" attitude, I used to be able to just feel a sort of "Aw, that's lovely" feeling when watching other people kissing or whatever. I'm trying to get back to that now - appreciating that if that stuff is there for other people, it's there for me too.

My advice to you would be to try and see the good in whatever someone's talking about and be strong enough to rise above it when people boast about stuff. You're more of a person than they are if you can avoid that yourself and you're probably not the only one who frowns on it.

Plus, remember people are full of bull sometimes. Half the "epic tales" you hear of nights out or whatever are probably 10% fact and 90% fiction. You won't hear about the time the storyteller puked up in a defaced public toilet until dawn, it'll always be the time he "kissed a model" (which actually means "she looked at me accidentally from the other side of the room") :p

Also, try and just have a good time, with your own company if need be. If you're enjoying yourself memories tend to come along with it, friends or not :)
 
What's your idea of "good memories"? Take a good long time to think about it, and then go and do it. :p

Invite you're band, I'm sure it'll go well.

Yes, it's hard to fit in at first, but you gotta take a leap of faith, invite them more often; you'll fit in much quicker. :D
 
It's worse if you work in a grocery store that plays the music that fortells breakups, bad relationships and missing a lover... sigh..
 
I can imagine the feeling. I can only say I hope you can be in their lives for a very long period so that you become a very valid part of new memories and you don't feel left out any longer.
 
ok, they know each other for a long time and they had some funny stories.
so what? hang out with them and stop thinking about it.
for everything in this life you have to start from 0.
eventually, if you guys are doing this and that the distance you're feeling right now will disappear. and you'll have some good adventures.

my thing is the opposite. I find new friends pretty exciting. after a while I just get bored and usually walk away.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top