Cant stop thinking about old high school crushes!

[Coverage]

As I'm typing this I keep thinking to myself "Man, I sound like a weirdo", but here it goes.


I have a problem to where I keep thinking, in the back of my mind, about a couple of girls that I once knew in high school. I was very attracted to these girls and we would talk every now and again. Aside from casual conversation, nothing ever happened between us, yet I still constantly think about them years later.

The problem is that even though I havent communicated or seen these girls in years, I guess I still have kind of a "high school crush" on them and I'm still holding out hope that one day I might reconnect with them and something might happen, even though I know that its simply not going to happen.


I've never had a girlfriend, and so my guess is that my mind keeps these memories in my head in order to make me have some sort of feeling of "hope" and "enjoyment".

Even though I do enjoy remembering the beauty and characteristics that I liked in these girls, its also a constant reminder of what I was wasn't able to truly connect with or have any kind of relationship with.

I'm in college now and its really time for me to grow up and move on. I have enough to deal with in my life withough constantly fumbling over the memories of high school crushes.

I cant really find a way for me to simply stop thinking about these memories and its seriously starting to worry me that I'm not able to move on from this.

Any tips or tactics would be appreciated!

 

[sappy]

dont worry your not a wierdo...the same thing is happening to me.....Ive even started having dreams about my crushes...all there is to do is take it one day at a time.

 

[heretostay]

you'll probably just have to wait until you meet someone new. it doesnt have to be a girlfriend, but you'll just have to wait until you find some other girl(s) that you like.

 

[Brian]

Tasha was the girl who sat next to me in 8th grade math class.

I was a shy, quiet, unpopular and awkward youth. There was maybe one girl in the whole school who might have gone out with me at some point, and even that I'm not sure of. But for some reason, Tasha would talk to me and didn't treat me like gum stuck to her shoe. To be honest, it scared me at first. It'd been 4 years since a girl at school had been at all friendly to me. She was really nice and I thought she was really cute.

A school dance came up, and I remember spending an entire weekend wondering if I should ask her to it. I'd never asked a girl out (turns out it was 6+ years later when I finally managed to). The next day at class I couldn't think about anything else. Sadly the pessimist in me won out...I wasn't popular, or really attractive, and I **** well couldn't dance; I'd never been to one. She said something about it that day, about hoping some guy was going to ask her or something, I don't really remember.

Later that semester I recall a day she and another guy who I ******* hated with the the burning passion of a thousand suns walked in to class a couple minutes late and she was making a "Ssshhhhh" gesture at him. They both had this sly sort of smile.

That kind of killed me on the inside, because I draw my own conclusions from things like that. And in my mind I was one of the only kids in school not ******* at every given opportunity, so you can imagine what I figured had transpired.

I did end up going to -a- dance eventually. Some girls came up to me one day at lunch and asked if I'd take their friend to the dance, a girl who'd been really cool to me and would eat lunch with me back in 4th grade. Ashley, who was growing up tall, blonde, and downright gorgeous and though we rarely saw eachother, she was still friendly to me. I was thrilled and said sure. Maybe they never told her about it, maybe it was some kind of joke, maybe Ashley wasn't interested. But I showed up to the dance and she was nowhere to be found. That night I cried like I have only cried a few times in my life. That was one of the few straight-out lies I've ever told in my life; out of shame I made up a story to my dad that she'd gotten sick off some of the food and had to go home early. I think to this day my dad still thinks I took a girl to a dance that night. Maybe he's forgotten. I don't know.

But I'll always remember Tasha, and how it felt when she'd smile at me and say "Hi". For a geeky sort of guy like me at the time, if that wasn't enough to make me have a crush, I dunno what was.

I got a hug from her at the end of the year. I can remember the time of day and the exact place and surroundings, the feeling of my hands against her shoulder blades. I think I even remember how she smelled. That was probably the highlight of that school year. Actually it was probably the highlight of my school life after elementary school.



A quick search actually turns up her Myspace page. It's almost tempting to just say hello and see how she's been. If she even remembers me...I really don't see why she would, though...

 

[Coverage]

Thanks for sharing that story Brian, just from reading that it would seem we were very similar people back in our school days. "shy, quiet, unpopular and awkward " would certainly describe me throughou my middle and high school years, and even now to a lesser extent.

I can identify with many of the emotions and situations you described above. I can recall many times where I think "maybe if I would have just asked her out" or "If only I would have talked to her then". Unfortunatly my shy nature and anxiety always won out.

I still have hope though, that anyday now I will run into a girl who will have the desire and patience to want to get to know me and let me get to know her. Then maybe from that situation I would finally become just comfortable enough to express my feelings for her and possibly start a relationship. I'm not exactly looking for the love of my life just yet, I simply would like at least a starting point for me to build upon.

 

[jenchrysalis]

Some old school things in the fast could be so enjoyable, since as our time in the school could be like that, it could be so crushing. I am quit rough when I am in my high school time.

 

[nerdygirl]

So... I confessed my feelings to my one high school crush, who happened to be one of my best friends. He didn't feel the same way, and things were awkward and stuff. Then one day... we got married. Yes, it really was almost as unplanned and unexpected as it just sounded. The last time I saw him was over ten years ago, while he was locked up for domestic abuse. They didn't even allow him into the courtroom for our divorce proceedings.

My other high school crush is my daughter's father... who kind of vanished over five years ago. He's in a cult now. I decided it was better not to establish paternity and not get child support... than risk the court forcing me to let him see our daughter. 'Cause he's scary.

Sometimes, fantasy is better than reality.

 

[MaskOfHappiness]

Coverage , don't worry your time will come and you'll find a girl that likes/loves for who you are.
Like Brian same thing happened to me but a bit different...few years ago i had a crush on this girl ... she always sat next to me in the gym class but my anxiety and shyness made me sat up and go some place else ...leaving her alone ( yes i was that stupid...) .The next year a new guy comes in the class ...joch kinda guy and guess what he asks her out and in a few days/week (can't remember) they are together. Turns out that the girl actually liked me but i was too shy and stupid to just ask her out, i had one chance and i blew it ( way to go...) now im lonely and i still dont have the balls to ask a girl out. God...please kill me.

 

[mintymint]

I had a mild crush on a girl throughout high school. She was cute, outgoing and somewhat of a bookworm I don't think of her often, but if I were in the same situation today I would definitely ask her out. Missed opportunities can teach you good things

 

[L. Lawliet]

Perhaps you will find a college crush? Growing up is about meeting girls and having crushes and them too.

 

[Coverage]

Oh hello ye ole thread of mine!

Thanks for sharing your experiences guys.

Its alittle disappointing looking back on this thread from about 3 1/2 months ago and realizing just how little has changed.

 

[fdelapena]

Darn high school crushes..they are the ones who broke my heart the most. They can all go to He!!

Anyway, move on there are better fishes in the sea.

 

[dukebk]

i actually dated my high school crush i wasnt akward or shy or unpopular i was an out goin guy had lots of friends... any way we dated for 2 years in high school then we split up its been ten years and i still think of her... last i heard she was gettng married and had a baby ... here i am alone in my empty house.. and i wonder how did i change from the guy i use to be into some one who has no confindece in him self and has really just given up on findn any one to be with??

 

[Connection-Refused]

Old crushes eh?.... Interesting thread.

I just recently got back in touch with an old crush of mine.

Over the years I would think about her from time to time.

After 17 years and her moving five thousand miles away, she actually remembered me.

I have no illusions, nothing will come of it, but it is nice to be able to talk to her again.

 

[Brian]

Its alittle disappointing looking back on this thread from about 3 1/2 months ago and realizing just how little has changed.

I know, right?

I just re-read my reply on the previous page after what's been another disappointing week. I started college back up on Monday. This is my 3rd semester ever taking any courses and today I finally decided to try and talk to some of the girls in my classes. You know, stuff like saying hello or making jokes.

fresia, talk about cold shoulder. Won't make that mistake again.


Why is it other guys can make jokes or say hi and get all kinds of smiles? Is there something stuck in my teeth? Is there a goddamn mutant second face growing outta my cheek, sticking its tongue out at them when I talk? If so, does HE have something stuck in HIS teeth?


Honestly, what the hell?


Maybe I'm too old or too young. It seems like none of these girls are my age. I'm 22, and they're either 17-19 or late 20s and up it would seem.

There's one gal who works at the front desk, I think she's a work-study student. She bears so much resemblance to my infamous ex-internet-girlfriend it's not even funny; the first time I ever saw her just about sent me in to ventricular fibrillation the resemblance is so uncanny. She definitely 'does it' for me, looks-wise, and she seems intelligent and maybe even nice from my observations.

I saw her look at me as I walked out the hall today after my class. All I could do was quickly stare at the floor. I think by that point I'd had enough.

 

[suckaG]

This is my 3rd semester ever taking any courses and today I finally decided to try and talk to some of the girls in my classes. You know, stuff like saying hello or making jokes.

fresia, talk about cold shoulder. Won't make that mistake again.

frig, I hate when people do that. it's ******* inconsiderate! don't let it get to you man, those girls are clearly a little too full of themselves.

Why is it other guys can make jokes or say hi and get all kinds of smiles? Is there something stuck in my teeth? Is there a goddamn mutant second face growing outta my cheek, sticking its tongue out at them when I talk? If so, does HE have something stuck in HIS teeth?


Honestly, what the hell?

I think it's hit and miss, depending on the comment, the girl, and the way you say stuff. for me it usually works better if I'm joking (or attempt thereof) with people I've acquainted myself with, even if only on a very minimal level.

but some days I totally feel like a freak is growing out of my face, and that maybe he does have honeysuckle stuck in his gnarled, yellowed fangs!

Maybe I'm too old or too young. It seems like none of these girls are my age. I'm 22, and they're either 17-19 or late 20s and up it would seem.

maybe. but I'm 24, and most of the girls I talk to in my program are 19-20ish. I think its different for everyone, though sometimes it can be awkward. I do have one friend who is 32; I thought she was my age for two full years! just goes to show that sometimes age is just a number in post-secondary.

There's one gal who works at the front desk, I think she's a work-study student...I saw her look at me as I walked out the hall today after my class. All I could do was quickly stare at the floor. I think by that point I'd had enough.

oh man, I can relate to this too well. I am the grand ******* warlock of averting the gaze at super pretty/smart girls I don't know. I have this gigantic 2 year long crush on this one girl in my program, but most times I can't even look at her. she's literally mesmerizing, especially her smile. :shy: I'm too much of a shambles to even try being a friend, though I have talked to her briefly a few times, and maintained eye contact with her piercing, brilliant gaze. for which I am greatly pleased!

 

[Brian]

I think it's hit and miss, depending on the comment, the girl, and the way you say stuff. for me it usually works better if I'm joking (or attempt thereof) with people I've acquainted myself with, even if only on a very minimal level.

Yeah, that's what gets me. Everyone I actually know thinks I'm pretty funny. We have lots of laughs. But it's like I step foot in that building and all my funny is gone.

oh man, I can relate to this too well. I am the grand ******* warlock of averting the gaze at super pretty/smart girls I don't know. I have this gigantic 2 year long crush on this one girl in my program, but most times I can't even look at her. she's literally mesmerizing, especially her smile. :shy: I'm too much of a shambles to even try being a friend, though I have talked to her briefly a few times, and maintained eye contact with her piercing, brilliant gaze. for which I am greatly pleased!

Haha, your wording cracked me up.

Yeah I maintained eye contact with her once when she was getting some books out of the storage for me. Also greatly pleased.

 

[DavidYourAnIdiot]

I think I can relate to some of you. Im 24 yrs old now and I still think about my crush I had from a girl through out middle school and high school. We never really held a conversation because (just like the rest of you all) I was shy and she cause me to have anxiety. Normally im not like that, but from some odd reason she was the only person I've ever met that cause me to have horrific anxiety. She was beautiful, probably the most gorgeous women I've ever met in my life. I've told myself to stop thinking about her, I've tried drowning her out of my mind, I've even try to trick myself thinking " yeah she gorgeous but her type and mine can never mix" or "even if something were to happen her social enviroment would never except a person such as myself" . Its hard to explain that last thought but in life there is a social line that seperate us all. Back to. What I was saying, till this day I still think about her wondering if and what I should have done to atleast know that I've try to make an attempt. Im just very tried of day dreaming about her day in and day out. Im tired of telling myself "David stop thinking about her, u sound ducking like a obsess stalked like type". Ever time I feel like I've almost let go of it there's seem to be a very bitter feeling inside like some shot me in my chest. But one of these days I will let go and will find someone, but for the time being I need to go thru it and wish for the best. I know what I've said may not really help anyone but I just really wanted you to all know that your not alone and I pray we all make out on top.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

I don't find anything weird about what you're experiencing. Some crushes will haunt you for eternity. Especially if they were all vain and tormenting.

 

[blackdot]

I'm just starting to think about people I knew in high school and college that I had a crush on. sometimes I'll try to hunt for them on the web but I don't get much info on them.
Then I finally talk myself into quit looking as it will just depress me.

But then I haven't seen those people in 20-24 years now.