Certain types of sadness, can it be addictive?

[ippi]

Been depressed for about 10 years now, and I somehow just accepted that some people will never really cherish life and love life like others will. I am different, I know that, and I have somehow found being lonely, depressed, and socially awkward somehow nice. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes I don't really want to let go of it all, I don't want to be like the happy bunch that loves everything and everyone and thinks everyone should be friends and live in peace,blablabla. I really hate that mindset, I find it literally disgusting.

Anyways, the point is.. Can feeling bad start feeling good at times? Anyone ever had this feeling as well?


(I'm horrible at explaining stuff)

 

[Dissident]

Our emotions are regulated by chemical reactions in our bodies so it's not so far-fetched to hypothesize that we can become addicted to our depression as drug users can be addicted to their own vice.

 

[Edward W]

I think it can also be safe to stay within the comfort of your sadness, if that makes sense. It's scary to think about doing something to change things.

 

[Regumika]

It kinda sounds like solitude, but you choose to be in solitude. Or you can think of it as privacy.

You do what you want, when you want to. But when you're around people, you are kind of 'forced' (obligated) to socialize. I don't think it is uncommon to think that way.

About being addicted to sadness, I don't think that is it. Rather that we choose to have our solitude/privacy and is willing to accept the sadness/loneliness that comes with it.. afterall, we did make the choice ourselves, so not really justified to complain.

like cooking up a storm in the kitchen, then complain that the kitchen is dirty.
or participate in mud wrestling.. then complain that you have to shower.
...not justified complaints!

 

[ardour]

Yes.. if you're talking about self-pity.

Self-pity can be like a drug; the brain's response to anxiety, depression, humiliation, anger etc., giving something like a temporary mood boost (endorphins probably, I can't be bothered looking into it...) I'm sure this can become addictive. Taken to extremes it's also pretty toxic, taking the place of pro-active mindset that may actually help change your situation.
Not that I put any of this positive thinking into affect mind you, I'm as addicted to self-pity as anyone....



It sounds like you have a tendency to think in black and white ; either it's moody negative outlook OR some nauseatingly repressed care bear state of mind.


In reality healthy people are neither. Actually I think most 'normal' people are more negative or cynical than positive, but still capable of seeing value and enjoying themselves. Self pity is a very poor substitute for real enjoyment through experience.

 

[Veruca]

Hi ippi, no, I don't think what you're experiencing is entirely uncommon. I was depressed for many years, and that's pretty much how I felt
during those times. Anything beyond feeling melancholic made me uneasy, and being around cheerful people irritated me. And as the other members have said, I became comfortable with being sad (and I liked being that way).

I suppose if none of this causes dysfunction in your life, then you wouldn't have to necessarily do anything about it. One could carry on being that way, but if you feel like its not how it should be for whatever reason, then you might want to address the issues.

 

[9006]

Emotional stress can cause your brain to release endorphins, so yes, I think some types of sadness could be addictive, just like self-harm.

 

[ippi]

Hi ippi, no, I don't think what you're experiencing is entirely uncommon. I was depressed for many years, and that's pretty much how I felt
during those times. Anything beyond feeling melancholic made me uneasy, and being around cheerful people irritated me. And as the other members have said, I became comfortable with being sad (and I liked being that way).

I suppose if none of this causes dysfunction in your life, then you wouldn't have to necessarily do anything about it. One could carry on being that way, but if you feel like its not how it should be for whatever reason, then you might want to address the issues.

This I can relate to. Also the part about self-pity, but honestly what's so wrong about it? No one else pity's me, so someone has to right? (giggled in real life)

Yeah, last time I went to some huge eating party with my college, everyone was so cheerful and I feeling so uncomfortable, and pissed off really, I left early for that reason alone.

Anyways, you said you were depresessed? How did you overcome it? I usually smoke a joint once in a while to stay calm and to feel more careless about negative stuff.

 

[randomdude]

Being depressed never felt good for me not even at a second for whole 3 years of my depression. People can get used to it as they forget what it feels like being non-depressed as they aren't used to that normal state anymore.

 

[Rosebolt]

I made a thread about this same thing some time ago as well. Basicly, i think it is, as others seem to have pointed out, the getting used to how you're feeling. Becoming happy is different, and if you're used to ten years of feeling sad, it starts to define you, so why change to become happy?

I find it slightly ironic that you still distinguish "happy people" and yourself, meaning that, even though you might feel content, you don't feel happy, or that which you percieve is happiness, which is likely to be a positive and desired feeling.

I myself can say i am more or less a happy person, however, i do not think everyone should live in peace, unless every human being on earth works towards that. Why? Because that's impossible.

Anyway, happiness is not something that only reaches ignorant people who hide from the night of day, happiness is being able to create your own bright day in the darkest of night.

 

[ippi]

Being depressed never felt good for me not even at a second for whole 3 years of my depression. People can get used to it as they forget what it feels like being non-depressed as they aren't used to that normal state anymore.

My depressions started like 8 years ago, and I actually have no clue about if I ever got rid of it. I guess I adapted to it, and the depression became a part of me somehow. It changed me a lot and I can't realy remember how I was before it.

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

Being depressed never felt good for me not even at a second for whole 3 years of my depression. People can get used to it as they forget what it feels like being non-depressed as they aren't used to that normal state anymore.

My depressions started like 8 years ago, and I actually have no clue about if I ever got rid of it. I guess I adapted to it, and the depression became a part of me somehow. It changed me a lot and I can't realy remember how I was before it.

I can relate to you on that, I got used to being depressed and alone for a long time and it became a normal everyday feeling,wasnt till I felt love again,friendship and found true happiness in God that I could finaly say to myself Im totaly free from depression, and when u truly know it theres absolutely no second guessing Good luck guys!

 

[aspalas]

Yea I can really relate to this. I sometimes enjoy being miserable, thinking about how everything goes wrong. Actually, I haven't cried in months and I miss it. I miss those moments, but I just can't cry anymore.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Anyways, the point is.. Can feeling bad start feeling good at times? Anyone ever had this feeling as well?

Like what some members have said. It's called comfort zone.

I used to yearn socialising.. but then I became lonely and then embraced it. I still do. I am even more comfortable on my own than around people.

 

[Veruca]

Anyways, you said you were depresessed? How did you overcome it? I usually smoke a joint once in a while to stay calm and to feel more careless about negative stuff.

Sorry I missed this ippi!

When I say I "was" depressed, I mean I am no longer at the lowest point in my life emotionally anymore. I still struggle with sadness, loneliness, alienation, confusion over who I really am, past demons, low self esteem and self worth issues daily, but its not so bad that I feel suicidal anymore, or that it causes dysfunction in my life. Like I can socialize, make plans for the future, find a way to motivate myself to do something somehow now, as opposed to a time when I just couldn't do anything right.

I think that's a good way to go actually, and that's what helped me get out of it. I stopped aiming for happy, successful or anything that seemed like a big, unreachable goal, and rather just tried to be "not" horribly depressed. While I was still being antisocial, I started engaging in enjoyable hobbies which gave me something small to look forward to everyday. Then I forced myself to do something that made me uncomfortable, but I knew would be beneficial to what I was trying to achieve. Like force myself to eat alone in restaurants, go to the cinema alone etc.

Eventually, I started feeling better. I really think its a good idea to start small. Oh and working out helped with my moods loads. Started off with 5 minutes, and after a couple of months, I was able to run for 30 minutes everyday and do the P90X (at first I couldn't even handle 1 minute of jumping jacks)

That's how I did it anyway . If you ever want to talk more about it, please let me know. I'm more than happy to help

 

[ippi]

Anyways, you said you were depresessed? How did you overcome it? I usually smoke a joint once in a while to stay calm and to feel more careless about negative stuff.

Sorry I missed this ippi!

When I say I "was" depressed, I mean I am no longer at the lowest point in my life emotionally anymore. I still struggle with sadness, loneliness, alienation, confusion over who I really am, past demons, low self esteem and self worth issues daily, but its not so bad that I feel suicidal anymore, or that it causes dysfunction in my life. Like I can socialize, make plans for the future, find a way to motivate myself to do something somehow now, as opposed to a time when I just couldn't do anything right.

I think that's a good way to go actually, and that's what helped me get out of it. I stopped aiming for happy, successful or anything that seemed like a big, unreachable goal, and rather just tried to be "not" horribly depressed. While I was still being antisocial, I started engaging in enjoyable hobbies which gave me something small to look forward to everyday. Then I forced myself to do something that made me uncomfortable, but I knew would be beneficial to what I was trying to achieve. Like force myself to eat alone in restaurants, go to the cinema alone etc.

Eventually, I started feeling better. I really think its a good idea to start small. Oh and working out helped with my moods loads. Started off with 5 minutes, and after a couple of months, I was able to run for 30 minutes everyday and do the P90X (at first I couldn't even handle 1 minute of jumping jacks)

That's how I did it anyway . If you ever want to talk more about it, please let me know. I'm more than happy to help

Thanks for the reply. Glad you found a way, cheers.

 

[fongab91]

I agree with Regumika, that sounds like you take priority in privacy more.

My depression come with something I am unable to do in my life, incapable of doing the same thing like the others, fear of what other may comment when they know it. Insecure and doubts filled my mind all the time. Depression is never addictive, it is stressful, no one can be addicted to that.

If it is sadness, it can be addicted. I like watching sad movies or listen to sad songs. I feel sadness has something to do with one's pessimistic, when I feel sad, I feel like can give a strong feeling to me. When I watch a sad ending for example, I feel it strong that I do not want to do something else but staying in that mood of sad alone for a long time.

However, it has never happen to me that I can be in a sad mood for as long as years. A day, a week perhaps, but certainly not years. So I have no idea how does that feel when the feeling is lasting this long. I think it can be addictive because of this strong feeling.

For such a long period, this feeling will evolve iinto a feeling of companion, like when I am sad, I feel I am occupied with something and somehow I am satisfied with that. I wish to stay in the sad mood longer a bit and a bit. When I feel sad and someone wants to talk with me, I refuse to reply, and if he insist a lot, I may get angry and frustrated.

It is addictive but you should not make it addictive. The outcome generated is usually something bad, such as I get angry easier and easier, and it is very tiring when I am always angry. I become a different person that I do not want to be and I get even sadder and upset.

I decided not to be sad or angry now, and it feels really good. Somehow I can do that but I do not know I can do that until I decided to try it. It is just that easy, just decide and I get it. Although I still get angry and sad now but I am in control of it. It won't last long and I will have my mood back to normal in no time. I am able to ignore it and let the sad feeling just fade away, just like that easily. I decided to move more now, doing more exercise that I can feel my body bursting with energy and strength. I will not use the word as happy, but more lively now. I am feeling more lively now.

You should try it too you know. All need to do is just one decide.

 

[Cam]

Your experience sounds common amongst depressed individuals. I, myself think about the fact that this depression, this cynicism is ingrained into my self. However, if you believe that chronic depression in people can be lifted, then it's a fight that you have to defeat yourself.

What I'm trying to say, is that your feelings can be good and bad, even in this context. The good is that you have a sense of self, which is important in characterising and maintaining ones identity. The bad, is that these feelings can consume your self, especially under the pretense of an alternative personality, where you describe the happy, good-loving people.

My personal opinion, and one that I believe in strongly, is that this is a simple matter of going on with life, it's crap, but society has stuffed us all over in believing how we should act, and even though a lot of people will never be happy, you have to take risks and be comfortable with who you are. Not necessarily with the qualities that you state that you're comfortable with, but with your main features that have already been established by those qualities. For example, if your isolation and cynicism led you to be into hard-core gaming, then don't change, but try and expand that interest.

You've heard this all before of course, but if I was in your scenario, which I am, I'm not happy with being who I am, am I afraid to change? Yes, definitely, but I need to have the courage and confidence to, and people that claim they're comfortable with their purely pessimistic qualities need to as well.