Tritone
Member
Hi all!
So I've been lurking around for about a week- reading people's post has helped me deal with the depressive slump that always seems to come back to me this time of year. Reading some of your stories has not only given me hope (yes, that sounds weird...but to me knowing I am not alone in my experiences and feelings is helpful), but has also compelled me to reach out to the community and help in the ways I can. Thus, here I am. A new member lol.
A little about me and the things that have shaped me:
I have a wonderful mother and sister (thankfully) as well as a niece and nephew who light up my life. My father is supportive to an extent but emotionally shunted and abusive...physically so when I was younger but now I am 6'2" and 220lbs while he is 62 sooo no longer an option for him lol. When I was 18 I fell in love for the first time, or maybe what I thought was love at the time. I followed her to the deepest depths of her drug addiction and developed one of my own. Later, she would take her life and I would be a full blown heroin addict at this point. I lived my early to mid 20s in a haze...sold all of my possessions, hit rock bottom and fought to get clean which I proudly am now. I've been lucky to have had 2 loving relationships in that time...I've been single for 2 and a half years now. Seeing as I spent my youth doing drugs I am now starting over. I live with parents which can be challenging and extremely limiting in my freedom since my father is a control freak. I take it because im thankful for the roof over my head, and honestly in my dark times I feel like I deserve the abuse. I was not always a good person when I was on heroin 24/7, and some of the things I did fill me with guilt and shame at times...but you reap what you sow. Im happy to be myself again...because I am geniune and good person, heavy anxiety and all lol.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Nice to meet you all and I hope I can a positive force here and also have a strong group to lean on when my darkness finds me
So I've been lurking around for about a week- reading people's post has helped me deal with the depressive slump that always seems to come back to me this time of year. Reading some of your stories has not only given me hope (yes, that sounds weird...but to me knowing I am not alone in my experiences and feelings is helpful), but has also compelled me to reach out to the community and help in the ways I can. Thus, here I am. A new member lol.
A little about me and the things that have shaped me:
I have a wonderful mother and sister (thankfully) as well as a niece and nephew who light up my life. My father is supportive to an extent but emotionally shunted and abusive...physically so when I was younger but now I am 6'2" and 220lbs while he is 62 sooo no longer an option for him lol. When I was 18 I fell in love for the first time, or maybe what I thought was love at the time. I followed her to the deepest depths of her drug addiction and developed one of my own. Later, she would take her life and I would be a full blown heroin addict at this point. I lived my early to mid 20s in a haze...sold all of my possessions, hit rock bottom and fought to get clean which I proudly am now. I've been lucky to have had 2 loving relationships in that time...I've been single for 2 and a half years now. Seeing as I spent my youth doing drugs I am now starting over. I live with parents which can be challenging and extremely limiting in my freedom since my father is a control freak. I take it because im thankful for the roof over my head, and honestly in my dark times I feel like I deserve the abuse. I was not always a good person when I was on heroin 24/7, and some of the things I did fill me with guilt and shame at times...but you reap what you sow. Im happy to be myself again...because I am geniune and good person, heavy anxiety and all lol.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Nice to meet you all and I hope I can a positive force here and also have a strong group to lean on when my darkness finds me