Overthinker
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- Mar 10, 2014
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I have a lot of loud, confident, extrovert friends. Quite often one of these friends named David will say something mind-blowingly ridiculous, something he probably spent .001 of a second thinking about before he bluntly blurted it out of his lips. So I'll calmly turn to him and attempt to explain why I think he hasn't properly thought through this issue. If you looked at his face, you'd think he's paying his full attention to my every word, but the SECOND I finish my thought, he'll go right back to his ridiculous assertion. I wait patiently, listening to his reasoning, carefully considering the implications (even though I know he's absolutely wrong). Five minutes later (while he pauses to gasp some air into his neglected lungs) I'll tell him, "Dave, you're not listening to what I'm saying. Let me ask you this: does not your assertion imply X? And X is obviously incorrect. So how can you continue to believe this?" At this point I figure I have him cornered, 'cause there's no possible response that actually makes any sense, but he's extremely illogical. He is not "restricted" by the process of thought. So he jumps back into his dumb argument, once again completely ignoring the fact that I just disproved it.
Clearly I'm not approaching the situation strongly enough. As a kid, I was always told to listen to people and consider their words before I spoke (which is a very important), but I keep finding myself being torn to shreds by someone who's stupid enough to think we live in the 20th century because it's 2014! Once I realized my problem with not stating my opinion strongly enough, I started talking louder and not taking "no" for an answer (Just like Dave does all the time). But when I try to be "strong and confident," I come across as a prideful jerk. When Dave does it, he comes across as confident but also (somehow!) nice. No one thinks Dave's a jerk, even though he hardly listens, and barely thinks.
To summarize, it seems like there's some balance of confidence and niceness. I want to be confident without looking smug, but no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I think, no matter how many angles I approach the situation... it's all or nothing. Either I'm nice and people walk all over me, or I'm a jerk and people hate me.
Anyway, sorry for rambling. Anyone else know people like this?
Clearly I'm not approaching the situation strongly enough. As a kid, I was always told to listen to people and consider their words before I spoke (which is a very important), but I keep finding myself being torn to shreds by someone who's stupid enough to think we live in the 20th century because it's 2014! Once I realized my problem with not stating my opinion strongly enough, I started talking louder and not taking "no" for an answer (Just like Dave does all the time). But when I try to be "strong and confident," I come across as a prideful jerk. When Dave does it, he comes across as confident but also (somehow!) nice. No one thinks Dave's a jerk, even though he hardly listens, and barely thinks.
To summarize, it seems like there's some balance of confidence and niceness. I want to be confident without looking smug, but no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I think, no matter how many angles I approach the situation... it's all or nothing. Either I'm nice and people walk all over me, or I'm a jerk and people hate me.
Anyway, sorry for rambling. Anyone else know people like this?