Dating Sites

[flaneur]

To the guys who attributed their lack of success to the alleged superficiality of women:

During my brief stint at OKCupid, I, with my striking personality, mordant wit and unconventional rock star look, received several times more messages than my friend, who has a clean look, flawless smile and financially stable degree (but otherwise vapid profile). He's really sore about this lol, because it has threatened his money-centric worldview. What I'm getting at is, if you're never getting messaged, you're probably just not doing it right. It's too easy to generalize and blame it on something like not having enough money blah blah blah.

Still, the OKCupid population fails. Fails hard. You're better off paying for a different dating site. The people who do seem to have some merit are often just trying to see how much attention they can get.

 

[blackdot]

I just logged on a dating website just to I guess depress myself again. I came across a long profile by some woman who was going off on guys on dating sites. Talking about how they contact her when she doesn't think they are a match. Talking about how people don't get past the first message. And then complaining about guys not want to respond to her.
Then she adds that if a guy messages her and she doesn't think they are a match, she refuses to respond back.
The irony. HA HA HA!

I found that the only profile that I could get women to respond to me with was a long humorous profile in the form of a car salesman. It showed off my humorous side while talking about what I like.
Unfortunately while I could get women to respond to my messages, they never could keep a conversation. For all that people complain about women and their constant chatting, they sure can't keep a conversation. Most are just too "busy".

I had one contact me initially, which shocked me cause women on there don't make the first move. She was able to keep a conversation in about 3 e-mails and them went silent. After a week, I replied back to check up on her and she got pissed off at me. Told me that right now she is busy and that since we would not be able to meet cause of it, she didn't see a reason to waste her valuable time sending me an e-mail.
*laughs* If it didn't hurt, it would be funny.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Bah. You all talk against the women on these sites but men are not better. I had a few start their conversation by "how much do you weight?" or "do you s*ck" ?

Of course it's easy to just click them off and put them on "ignore", but when some night, you feel a bit lonely, got that need for some socializing and it's all you get, it can be quite depressing too.

 

[blackdot]

well, I would bash the guys too but I'm not hunting for a guy to date so I don't send them messages. HA HA HA!
ok, I have had 2 or 3 guys hit on me in the past but that's a different story.

yeah. I don't get women sending me messages like that but then women don't contact me. men are more known for sending those types of messages.
but since women don't respond to well thought out e-mails, I'm guessing they prefer the short and too the point ones like you get.

 

[jjam]

^checkmate?

 

[firebird85]

Arsenic Queen, your ratio theories are nonsense. Dating sites are rigged. Totally. The whole dating scene is rigged too. Against men. Against me. I've been trying to uncrack this for almost 2 years now.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

well, I would bash the guys too but I'm not hunting for a guy to date so I don't send them messages. HA HA HA!
ok, I have had 2 or 3 guys hit on me in the past but that's a different story.

yeah. I don't get women sending me messages like that but then women don't contact me. men are more known for sending those types of messages.
but since women don't respond to well thought out e-mails, I'm guessing they prefer the short and too the point ones like you get.

Er, not really. Wrong thinking there. It's rather the rude ones like I described that makes women lack trust in other messages. Or maybe like Flaneur said it's a question of lack of style. But I keep thinking you waste your good intentions on the wrong "customers". And don't forget that you have a lot of successful romeos as competition. Against shy-you, they win all the way.

^checkmate?

You wish.

Arsenic Queen, your ratio theories are nonsense. Dating sites are rigged. Totally. The whole dating scene is rigged too. Against men. Against me. I've been trying to uncrack this for almost 2 years now.

They've always worked for me. Then again I'm not a man.
Then the key might be to give up with these websites and try other options. They are bad anyway. Too much non-serious people of both genders, plus like a lot of people said here, no one really tries to talk or get to know somebody. The setting is similar to Sears catalogue so people expect they can shop, pick, and take it home. They don't realize meeting people and building relationships doesn't work that way.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I hear that WoW is a great dating site.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

I hear that WoW is a great dating site.

Actually, I have a married friend who met her hubby in playing games together online like that. Not sure if it's WoW or which one.

 

[flaneur]

I had one contact me initially, which shocked me cause women on there don't make the first move. She was able to keep a conversation in about 3 e-mails and them went silent. After a week, I replied back to check up on her and she got pissed off at me. Told me that right now she is busy and that since we would not be able to meet cause of it, she didn't see a reason to waste her valuable time sending me an e-mail.
*laughs* If it didn't hurt, it would be funny.

I think you missed the point in my previous comment, or maybe I wasn't very clear. Shrug. Every message I received was the woman making the first move, which is why I think you guys are just not doing it correctly.

I hear that WoW is a great dating site.

+1

 

[Arsenic Queen]

I think you missed the point in my previous comment, or maybe I wasn't very clear. Shrug. Every message I received was the woman making the first move, which is why I think you guys are just not doing it correctly.

Did it get you to meet any interesting people? Do you still contact any of the people met there?

 

[flaneur]

I think you missed the point in my previous comment, or maybe I wasn't very clear. Shrug. Every message I received was the woman making the first move, which is why I think you guys are just not doing it correctly.

Did it get you to meet any interesting people? Do you still contact any of the people met there?

I didn't even bother replying to most of them. I wrote about it in this thread a few pages back. I seem to attract confident women but prefer shy ones, because I had a screwed up life before college and only really feel attracted to women who have or have had issues.

 

[firebird85]

well, I would bash the guys too but I'm not hunting for a guy to date so I don't send them messages. HA HA HA!
ok, I have had 2 or 3 guys hit on me in the past but that's a different story.

yeah. I don't get women sending me messages like that but then women don't contact me. men are more known for sending those types of messages.
but since women don't respond to well thought out e-mails, I'm guessing they prefer the short and too the point ones like you get.

Er, not really. Wrong thinking there. It's rather the rude ones like I described that makes women lack trust in other messages. Or maybe like Flaneur said it's a question of lack of style. But I keep thinking you waste your good intentions on the wrong "customers". And don't forget that you have a lot of successful romeos as competition. Against shy-you, they win all the way.

^checkmate?

You wish.

Arsenic Queen, your ratio theories are nonsense. Dating sites are rigged. Totally. The whole dating scene is rigged too. Against men. Against me. I've been trying to uncrack this for almost 2 years now.

They've always worked for me. Then again I'm not a man.
Then the key might be to give up with these websites and try other options. They are bad anyway. Too much non-serious people of both genders, plus like a lot of people said here, no one really tries to talk or get to know somebody. The setting is similar to Sears catalogue so people expect they can shop, pick, and take it home. They don't realize meeting people and building relationships doesn't work that way.

You're female, so of course it works

 

[jjam]

^unless she's gay or bi, it must have worked for the guy that played a part in it working for her too, right?

 

[blackdot]

I think you missed the point in my previous comment, or maybe I wasn't very clear. Shrug. Every message I received was the woman making the first move, which is why I think you guys are just not doing it correctly.

From what I hear from women who I talk to, they believe the guy should be the first one to make contact. I'm guessing it's their cheap way of not having to worry about rejection. They can instead just avoid the guys they don't want to talk to.
Plus women on dating sites are flooded with e-mails from guys so they don't need to worry about contacting guys.

I'm not doing it wrong though. I've been told by multiple females that my profile was unique, stood out, and made me sound interesting. Plus it got them to laugh. They just refuse to contact me first, I have to contact them. Something about they are just "old-fashioned".

 

[Anten]

I once got contacted first by a girl on a dating site only to later get a message from her saying I was cute but to young for her. :|

 

[blackdot]

Anten:
"too young": the #5 value meal pick

 

[flaneur]

I think you missed the point in my previous comment, or maybe I wasn't very clear. Shrug. Every message I received was the woman making the first move, which is why I think you guys are just not doing it correctly.

From what I hear from women who I talk to, they believe the guy should be the first one to make contact. I'm guessing it's their cheap way of not having to worry about rejection. They can instead just avoid the guys they don't want to talk to.
Plus women on dating sites are flooded with e-mails from guys so they don't need to worry about contacting guys.

I'm not doing it wrong though. I've been told by multiple females that my profile was unique, stood out, and made me sound interesting. Plus it got them to laugh. They just refuse to contact me first, I have to contact them. Something about they are just "old-fashioned".

Maybe it's the age difference and women my age are more "modern" about it. My friend with a boring profile was messaged within his first week, though it was a keyboard-challenged type that he did not want to get anywhere near lol.

 

[blackdot]

Contacted in the 1st week... that would have been nice.
In 1 year on Match, I was contacted 1st probably 4 times and 2 of those were what I call nonsense contacts which had no point in messaging me in the first place.
On eHarmony, maybe 2 times in 9 months but that site is so terrible that I would have been happy with not being contacted at all.
and on Chemistry, in 6 months I was contacted 3 times. All 3 by people who didn't want to date.